I know it's Facebook and I should scroll on past but what goes through people's MINDS!?

[FortunesFave]

Before anyone says "Well you don't sound like you like her much!" about my friend who this is about...you're wrong, I love her dearly. BUT for some unknown reason she keeps posting photos of herself in her workout gear on FB and saying "I've honestly never been happier with my figure" and "My young body was ok but now I do X sport, my 40 something body is so much better!"

I mean...it's embarrassing isn't it?

AIBU? She is fit and it's lovely...but it's just not something you have to crow about! I'm fit too...I do another sport but I'd never post this sort of thing because I imagine my mates who struggle with their weight would feel terrible about it!

Or even if they didn't, they;d think I was a bit of a wanker wouldn't they?

Or is this sort of thing ok now? Am I out of touch? My friend always has a lot of likes on her posts but they drop considerably on these ones...so others must feel the same...why doesn't she notice!?

For lots of people it's become the norm to share stuff like that. Some people find it odd and cringey, some find it positive and life-affirming. Plenty of people share their fitness achievements on social media. I agree that talking about how great your body looks is a bit of a step further, but if she wants to, that's up to her.

Fat shame... Fit shame.... Thin shame... Slut shame... Frigid shame... Single shame... SAHM shame.... Race shame... Gender shame.... It seems all we want to do these days is shame. Let's all just celebrate those that want to be celebrated. Support those that need our support and be thankful that the world is made up of so many different people because it would be bloody boring if it was.

I hear you op... I think I'm turning into a grumpy sod.

I have a very good friend who I love to pieces who keeps posting selfie's of herself without makeup on. With 'I'm x years old and love myself more, no need for makeup' #nofilter #love yourself

Then another friend who's a body builder who's constantly, think several photos of herself working out a day, then has professional photos taken of herself in a bikini bottom, hands over her boobs with captions such as 'getting there' 'a bit to go yet'

It all smacks of 'ohh give me lots of attention and tell me how amazing I am'

I do wish I genuinely thought 'you go girls' but end up rolling my eyes and putting them on a fb break

Why does it matter that she's in her 40's? Is she not allowed to look and feel good when she's over 40?

OP I'm with you - I find those sort of posts embarrassing too. Why the need for that kind of validation? But then that's why I'm not on sm

Feck off op all sm is for likes. You can feel free to see her feed less. It's her business behat she posts. Also, I think it's really mean spirited of you to post this. I would never post something like this about a friend I loved "dearly".

I have a very good friend who I love to pieces who keeps posting selfie's of herself without makeup on. With 'I'm x years old and love myself more, no need for makeup' #nofilter #love yourself

Firstly you are not her very good friend and secondly what is wrong with that? What is wrong with showing the next generation of women that they can still look good without filters as they get older? What is wrong ith loving yourself or promoting other people to love themselves?

If she feels great than why they hell not? I wouldn’t personally do it but I’m not going to eye roll at people that do. More people should celebrate feeling good and body positivity.
PP saying they would be embarrassed for her, I’m more embarrassed for the people who feel the need to knock someone who feels confident and proud of their body. I imagine you all sat at your keyboards being bitter and joyless. I suspect you think women over a certain age should slink away into the background. She isn’t harming anyone.

It’s her Facebook. She’s posting about things that are important to her. Why would you bother judging her for that? The whole checking how many likes she’s getting on her posts is a bit weird. Some of my friends post endless photos of their kids/dogs/dinners, and that’s all fine. Nobody is charging to to use the site.

It’s lockdown, there’s only so many photos of the sunset or banana bread you can take.

I wonder if she’s taking part in one of the health challenges? Leigh Linton 30 day shred or Courtney black 28 day challenge etc are both running at the moment. They encourage you to take photos rather than weigh yourself to see progress and I think I would probably be proud of myself if I got fit and toned.
Disclaimer: I don’t do this! Nobody including me needs to see a photo of me in Lycra!

I wouldn't do it, nor would I feed her ego with compliments when she did it, but the first thing that came to my mind was that some people go on about their wonderful families/children, on FB, and others make a big show of how "loved" or "in love" they are. Or maybe they share photos of their perfect hair and nails, their new clothes, their nice car or house or food or pet or holidays, or evidence of their personal skills and abilities, or how good they are, because they care about this issue or that problem... I don't think this is really any worse. It's just another form of the same thing. It's a very common and very human foible. I'd just roll my eyes and scroll on by.

Heaven forbid that a woman in her 40s should be openly confident and happy with her appearance

I'm glad that other people find things that make them happy.
I wouldn't be 'friends' with them on Facebook if I didn't want them to be happy.
If their posts are annoying, boring or tedious I can 'snooze' them for 30 days.
Using social media is not rocket science.

If you want to talk about something interesting on social media, you could pickup on how Laura Kunnesberg gets rabid abuse any time she posts anything on Twitter. How much of that is misogyny? Or how some sports personalities are harrassed on Twitter. Behaviour that is bizarre, sad, obsessive, horrible, inexplicable. Instead, MNers focus on semi-private vanities of random people just trying to improve themselves or glad they had a good day.

I’m glad you aren’t my friend. It’s not embarrassing if she is happily celebrating herself. What do you post that is so special? Stop judging your mate and leave her be. If you don’t like it, just ignore it. Are you jealous? Why are you posting here that your friend posts pictures of herself saying she loves her body? God, who needs enemies and all that.

"Is she about to start flogging juice or aloe shit that has helped her get that body?*

This was my first thought watch out for the group invite soon 😀

If not just let her crack on don't comment or like and scroll past.

I've got a running friend on fb who posts about Every Single Run with the mantra that - we should all get out there and get some exercise too.

Well most of us do, we just don't post about it and lecture everyone else about it.

Eurgh I can't stand this, it's fishing for compliments and makes me pity them a little because it's so transparent

The whole “I’ve never been happier” statement too. Who are you trying to convince?

Maybe she is genuinely really happy or maybe she is trying to convince herself because she's struggling. Is that a bad thing?

Each to their own, I think it's nice to see people doing things that they find rewarding.

Totally up to her what she posts but yes it would annoy me too. It’s good old fashioned showing off and you’re either a show off or you’re not.

Appropriate responses (I know....)
Gaaawwwjus!
Hot stuff!
Your (sic) stunning!
Stunning!
Twit twoo!

Like I said.... barf.

I think maybe it’s something that motivates her.My sister said being constantly on zoom for work made her change her hair, do more skincare etc and she was already gorgeous. I think the accountability aspect is a push to keep going on the self improvement especially in lockdown when you don’t see anyone it gives you a mini reveal to focus on. Also why not be visible and proud if she is working hard.

@CaraherEIL ‘ Also why not be visible and proud if she is working hard.’

Because she is a woman, and she should know her place. This shall be largely policed by other women, seeing we do not develop ideas above our place/ male confidence.

She’ll be asking for a promotion next or swanning into jobs if it’s left unchecked.

And don't forget the maternity leave!

I think everything everyone posts is awful, embarrassing and showing off - that's why I've hidden everyone and only use Facebook for the groups.

[quote Oileoloe]@CaraherEIL ‘ Also why not be visible and proud if she is working hard.’

Because she is a woman, and she should know her place. This shall be largely policed by other women, seeing we do not develop ideas above our place/ male confidence.

She’ll be asking for a promotion next or swanning into jobs if it’s left unchecked.[/quote]
Or wearing a dress with flowers on to an interview!!