I know it's Facebook and I should scroll on past but what goes through people's MINDS!?

[FortunesFave]

Before anyone says "Well you don't sound like you like her much!" about my friend who this is about...you're wrong, I love her dearly. BUT for some unknown reason she keeps posting photos of herself in her workout gear on FB and saying "I've honestly never been happier with my figure" and "My young body was ok but now I do X sport, my 40 something body is so much better!"

I mean...it's embarrassing isn't it?

AIBU? She is fit and it's lovely...but it's just not something you have to crow about! I'm fit too...I do another sport but I'd never post this sort of thing because I imagine my mates who struggle with their weight would feel terrible about it!

Or even if they didn't, they;d think I was a bit of a wanker wouldn't they?

Or is this sort of thing ok now? Am I out of touch? My friend always has a lot of likes on her posts but they drop considerably on these ones...so others must feel the same...why doesn't she notice!?

Better than a relative who’s constant posting up half naked pictures in a bathtub.....

@RebeccaCloud9

Is she about to start flogging juice or aloe shit that has helped her get that body?

This was my first thought!

just find it a bit...desperate...looking obviously for flattery. You know...fishing! Isn't that a bit daft when you're in your 40s?

What has her age got to do with it? So what if she is looking for flattery.

It’s pretty facile but then lots of people are nowadays... you can go for a run and not post a photo of yourself. You can do nice make up or hair and not post photos of yourself. You can look good and not post a photo of yourself. It’s different if you’ve achieved a goal like your first 5k or marathon which is obviously worth celebrating - - and I’m sure everyone would cheer them on. I’ve recently lost 20lbs but I still have a long way to go.... maybe I’ll post a photo when I hit target but no one needs to see it in the meantime... the people who care about me know anyway.

@LagunaBubbles

just find it a bit...desperate...looking obviously for flattery. You know...fishing! Isn't that a bit daft when you're in your 40s?

What has her age got to do with it? So what if she is looking for flattery.

I think it is because in your 40s you would expect people to have more confidence in themselves and not be looking for validation from people on facebook.

It isn't something I would do, I've never posted a selfie or anything but I do give friends pictures a quick like because why not if it makes them feel a bit better about themselves.

I find it cringe too. Ands it nothing to do with women having confidence, I find men that post pics of themselves and their muscles or whatever constantly cringe too.

A one off post to celebrate fitness goals or weight loss or an occasion is great, but constant look at me pouting and bragging I don't like. But whatever, I just snooze the constant offenders and think they're a bit vain.

snooze her and move on.
Again, for those at the back: it is not our job to police how people use their social media unless they are breaking the law.

Yanbu but we do now live in narcissist land.

Question to the haters of this kind of thing: why is vanity bad? Why should anyone feel bad about liking how they look?

I'm with you, OP - brilliant to have lost weight, great that you're happy in your body, but why the constant need for praise etc.

I used to love Facebook but use it very rarely now, particularly when acquaintances I don't know well befriend me and then constantly post such stuff - either that or the sort of fishing post ("Some people are so awful....") designed to elicit 'you ok, hun' type responses. I am also very mindful of changes in people's lives at the moment and the need to be sensitive to those.

I very rarely post and tend to communicate family news to close family by WhatsApp.
I can imagine the response if I sent them a pic of my in gym gear......

Is she part of the MLM squad? These posts usually happen weeks before announcing the secret to how they did was juice plus or whatever MLM they are part of.

Weirdly I just ordered this yesterday. Looks interesting.

I like seeing people share about their accomplishments and like fitness posts, but find myself zoning out if it's endless self-congratulatory ramblings.

For example, a photo of someone going for a run or an update about how they have enjoyed crossfit, they've had a great training session, or had a good bike ride = fine, good for them. It's also nice to see new routes to go on.

Dozens of posts about how brilliant they think they are, the need to tell the world each time their bum leaves the sofa, the not-so-humble-brags/fishing for compliments about how they used to hate themselves but now they're amazing, how great do I look etc = I tend to roll my eyes and scroll on by.

Aw, sounds like her self esteem is pretty low :(

Hmm I think its odd that because its a physical change everyone assumes it is an insecurity thing.

What if she's discovered pottery and was always crowing about how its helped her mental health and to be more mindful....? Would you say it was hurtful to those who don't have hobbies and who struggle with mental health? Of course not, you'd be happy for her.

I would try and see it like that and steer away from judgement that its all about either narcissism or insecurity. I'd just be glad for her that she's found something that is good for her body and mind!

God forbid anyone be pleased with how they look. Especially a....WOMAN! How dare she? She should get back in her box. It’s unseemly. We only accept pride from men, and feminine self deprecation from women.

FFS.

Nah as PP said it's equally as bad if not worse with blokes with their tops off in their bathrooms Grim.

Not the pride in your fitness ! Man or woman. Nowt wrong with that. It's the public thrust for approval that's off-putting. The opposite of confidence.

*Thirst not thrust

It's incredibly embarrassing YANBU! You'd forgive a young'un but she should really know better at her age. I hate that SM makes me feel differently about people I like in real life. Some otherwise normal people just seem to lose the run of themselves online. It's all very cringe and attention seeking.

I think good for her tbh.

If this was my friend I’d probably be commenting on how great she’s doing and hoping she can help to motivate me!

I think be seen if you want to be seen, make your super toned arse imprint in the online world. I think the main problem is we are all perusing Facebook while eating delicious snacks and we see one of our friends gyrating around with buns of steel and those chocolate biscuits just turn to dust in our mouths... and the rage sets in!!

@Brefugee

Question to the haters of this kind of thing: why is vanity bad? Why should anyone feel bad about liking how they look?

Not sure really. I'm glad if people are happy with how they look, I'm just a bit meh about them telling everyone and parading constantly. Like I said before, a post when you are celebrating success or goal achievements or even just cos you looked nice in a photo - great. Thrice weekly pouting and banging on about how great you look/are - cringe. Just my opinion though so if others disagree all power to you. As I say I just scroll on by or mute for extremists.

I think it is because in your 40s you would expect people to have more confidence in themselves

My young adult DC often say things like this. I tell them that your fundamental personality doesn't spontaneously change as you get older. A shy teenager will generally grow up to be shy adult. An insecure 16 year old will probably be an insecure 50 year old.

Obviously there are exceptions and life lessons do get learned but anyone assuming that they will turn 30 or 40 or 50 and suddenly be a model citizen with no defects or personality flaws is doomed to disappointment.

I find these kind of things cringey too. I am only on Facebook because I have to be for work. I absolutely hate all the "look at me" posts, I just don't understand them at all. Look at my new haircut, look at my garden, look at my new kitchen, look at my nails... Why bother? I don't get it.