What does your Dcat do to drive you insane ( light hearted)

[Frickssake]

So far mine has, stood on the mat looking at me, then looking at the door. I've opened the door , cat looked at me as if I was mad and trotted to his basket! Stood by his food and looked at me, miawed, then started eating. As soon as I leave the room, he stops eating and walks back to the bloody door!

Cat also likes me to sit with her while she eats grass in the garden, I think she thinks I'm her bodyguard.

Knocks everything off the bedside tables when he wants to wake us up in the morning. If we clear everything off the bedside tables he bats us on the face instead.

@SaxonRock

She takes sips from my coffee only when she thinks I'm not looking.

Really? My cat always sniffs my cup because I only drink coffee, she never has tried to drink it thou but I thought it was the milk she could smell in it!!

just as I start dozing off again, does a comedy legs on springs SPRONGGGG about a foot into the air and hares downstairs.

loving this thread.

Wishes to have someone sit and watch while he's eating. Assumes we all desire similar scrutiny.

Both of mine are dick heads. Their favorite thing is fighting loudly on the stairs, and running full pelt in and out of the bedrooms so that they sound like stampeding Wildebeest..also, after breakfast they like to go out, and in again, about 10 times. They have also been known to drag whole dead rabbits into the house and drop them at our feet if we are stupid enough to leave a window open.

Tries to follow us whenever we leave the house on foot. Wails at us if we walk too fast but if we stop to wait for her she stops and starts smelling things. So we carry on walking and the wailing starts again. It's heartbreaking but eventually we have to give up on her and just walk away while she wails. She's usually waiting in the same spot for us until we walk back.

For those whose cats wake them up early miowing for food, we have to shut ours in the utility room overnight (with food, water, bed and a cat flap) for this reason. Otherwise she would come into our room in the early hours, miow and walk on our heads.

Got a ragdoll type of kitten, now 4 months old.
She chirps more than miau - very cute. Mostly to be held.
She has now read her breed manual and will flow off if not carefully supported.
Our bedroom is off limits and door always closed. Daytime, mostly, she will sit outside, chirp a bit and when we come out she will follow us. After "Good night"= lay in wait for one of us to come out if we forgot something/want to drink and dash into the bedroom. Problem is there are the following playground items there: bass guitar in the corner, ceiling to floor heavy curtain, extra low windowsill with plants (all toxic). And at 1 am in the morning, with the other sleeping try to figure out without switching the light on where she is.
Fav: playing ninja-cat. The problem is when we don't realize that "we" are playing and all of a sudden 2,5 kilo cat lands on my thigh. I usually scream a bit, she dashes off (laughing her head off) and teen putting his head out his door to see what the commotion is. :)
Despite everything she has passed her one month probation period :)

Shits behind the front door while Im out at work. Its always nice to get home after a long day and smear catshit across the new carpet 🙄

My cat... gone, now three years, was a very splendid cat. She was 20.
She was the most unfriendly cat and hated fuss.
She just crapped in our garden ( my flower border) and never ventured forth.
She hissed and spat at everything and anyone, except my friend who absolutely hated cats.
My friend grew to love her and they became pals .

Every time anyone of us walked down the stairs, she'd be near the top and would poke her paw through the banisters for a kind of ' high five.' Which we'd always do. It was our only connection!
Sorry, I've not answered your AIBU... wanted to reminisce ...

I love the way cats have no qualms waking us up but the palpable outrage if we do the same.

Cats are vulnerable using trays or eating so they like company from the humans.

She-Cat: Total attention seeker. Incredibly nosy. Has to get into or under anything and everything i.e. if left open the washing machine, the dishwasher, any cupboards, boxes, clothing or blankets that are the floor etc etc. Uses me as a springboard/trampoline to wake me up. Chooses to slurp at her bum hole right next to my ear whilst sitting on the back of the sofa. Follows me EVERYWHERE. I can’t even go to the toilet without her sauntering in or scratching at the door. She will sit in front of the cat flap so her brother can’t get in.

He-Cat: Sits on me all the time and is like a radiator. Drools when he purrs then shakes his head so said drool flies everywhere. Eats plastic bags/packaging so can never leave anything like that lying around. Chewed through wires and shoelaces when he was younger (Seems to have grown out of that now). Goes outside, eats grass, comes back in, pukes grass up on my carpet. Races through the house singing, trilling and chirping at 5am most mornings.

Adorable little shits! 😍

@MistressoftheDarkSide

The little sods really do wrap us round their cute little toe beans don't they ?

And when they're gone the howling void in our hearts is eternal......

But we wouldn't have changed a thing......

Absolutely!!

Attacks me when I'm doing my online exercise class. Press ups make him really angry. He bit me on the head today and I had to shut him out. Then he yowled to be let back in. I relented and he dribbled all over the yoga mat trying to be affectionate.

Madam has decided that anything later than 4am is breakfast time.
Favourite trick is to sit on the bed trapping a mug or glass closer and closer towards the edge of the bedside table. Mostly I wake up before it tips over.
If I have the audacity to try and walk past the dish to go to the loo before I feed her, she catches my feet and clings on or scratches, If I have her favourite slippers on, with big white furry pom poms at the front, she is up for chasing my feet at any time.
When I had covid, and could have slept 24/7, she was understanding and sweet to a point, but did keep nibbling and biting my fingers to wake me up. I had the definite feeling she was practicing for self sufficiency if I didn't wake up. My biggest concern was that if I died, someone would eventually find a half eaten body.

This thread is so funny, I love cats

Mine are:
DCat1 (ginger tom)
-Will come into the living room either just before or just after an ad break mooching, so I get up to see if he wants food/to be let out....and he runs upstairs back to bed
-He is the laziest cat I've ever met and will happily loll about in bed for 10 hours before we force him to go outside so he has the opportunity to go to the loo, however he will try and run back up the stairs given the chance
-On a related note, generally prefers to do his business outside but if the weather's bad and we bring the litter tray in he will use it immediately. Yet when it's not there he'll sleep for hours without needing to go
-He has a bristly arch thing that he loves to lie under when he's stalling for time. He has a way of tensing his muscles that renders him completely immoveable
-Complains his dish is empty when in reality it is still three quarters full. Normally I just move the bowl and turn it around and that seems to work 😂😂

DCat2 (long haired female)
-Incapable of seeing an open door without investigating it
-Gets let out only to want to go back in mere minutes later. Then 2 minutes later she wants to go back out again. Rinse and repeat several times
-Gets her long coat brush so she doesn't look half feral only to go out and roll in the flowerbeds and getting half the garden stuck to her coat

Both of them together: chasing each other up and down the stairs when they are let in early in the morning. I've stuck my head out of my bedroom a couple of times and seen why they make so much noise - one of them will position themselves as high as possible (bannister or the windowsill at the top of the stairs are their favourite spots) then ambush the other who is sitting halfway down the stairs. Considering they barely weigh more than about 14kg between them they sound like bloody elephants.

However they bring us much laughter and we wouldn't have them any other way

My cat Boots would happily help herself to left over curry, bolognaise anything really. She adored prawn cocktail crisps. But when I put cat food down for her, she would look at me in disgust and clearly thought I was trying to poison her.

Bites my ankles after we have finished playing. Has to have the last word...bastard.

I fell asleep on the sofa once leaving a Hawaiian pizza on the coffee table that I hadn’t finished. Woke up to find they’d swiped all the pineapple off the pizza.

@DieSchottin93 mine also do the chasing each other up and down the stairs. They weigh less than 9 kg between them but it is SO loud!

Trevor likes to sleep on the top step over night. Our youngest often wakes in the night and I have to go downstairs to get him a drink. Trevor is completely black. I move my foot around to try and gently feel if he is there so I don't stand on him. He sees this as a game. My toes look like I've been attached by a bear!

I can’t have a glass of water by the bed. I’m inevitably woken up by a pint of water being flung at the pillow. It’s sealed bottles all the way now.

He’s a greedy little fucker too. Woebetide I try and eat a packet of crisps to myself. That big paw is in the packet before it’s even opened. I have to put ‘his’ crisps on the coffee table as a diversion.

Climb on the roof
Bring live creatures into my bedroom and play with them at stupid o'clock in the morning
Wants a cuddle at stupid o'clock in the morning

Having barely looked at me all day, at 3am he becomes utterly overwhelmed with love and marches up the bed like Hannibal’s elephants crossing the Alps to give me a massive headbutt right on the nose.
Then he goes mad, purring, chirping, rubbing his whole body on my face. There’s hair in my eyes, hair in my mouth, he stands on both boobs and my windpipe simultaneously while repeatedly bashing me in the nose with his forehead.
After a good 5-10 minutes of sustained assaults he trundles back to my feet and passes out.

I used to foster for CP.

At one point I had two male cats and a friend staying. For some reason my friend preferred the sofa bed to the bed in the spare room.

7 Am every morning I would hear 'Ow' followed closely by 'Ow' as the cats chased each other and always bounced off his chest.

When I was a teen we had a crazy cat.
She would scrabble to the top of the living room door and hiss then once she had got our attention jump onto the back of the sofa, walking the full length whilst attacking our heads.
The neighbour's dog was scared to go near her.

Another cat would hide at the back of the airing cupboard and attack anyone who tried to remove her.