What does your Dcat do to drive you insane ( light hearted)

[Frickssake]

So far mine has, stood on the mat looking at me, then looking at the door. I've opened the door , cat looked at me as if I was mad and trotted to his basket! Stood by his food and looked at me, miawed, then started eating. As soon as I leave the room, he stops eating and walks back to the bloody door!

Licks plastic. All the time. It is the world’s most annoying sound.

I think the psychic contact thing has some validity.

Often I'll just have a feeling that makes me scour the house at some stupid hour, and nine times out of ten we have inadvertently shut her in somewhere because she is small and can apparently teleport.

Although it is probably just a learned experience thing........

But I had it alot with my dear departed 22 YO boy too.

Oh Yes, noises. In his latter years my old boy would, at 2 or 3am suddenly decide, on the end of my bed, that a long, slurpy, clicking as he nipped his claws grooming session was absolutely necessary......

-walks over me and nips me at 6am to wake me up to feed him.
-likes to jump up into my arms for cuddles, but often does this when I'm holding something/ talking on phone or doing makeup.
-Climbs up my back if bending over or gardening, picking up toys etc etc

• He likes to hit next doors dog on the nose through the fence making her bark and then poor dog gets told off.

-Likes to be let in and out of doors despite perfectly nice cat flap ( he can use cat flap as always very fast through it if it rains.)

• Stealing wool items and chews them.

-Nips ankles walks over table during meal times if he decides he needs food.

• Drinks from taps, despite having access to fresh water at all times.

I think I own a prime brat! but I do love him

Always chooses to be sick on the one carpet/rug that we have in the whole house. Never on the hard easy to clean floor. Why do cats do this?

I have been known to gently nudge a cat trying to expel a furball from carpet to hard surface if close enough.......

Yowls Like a fricking banshee at random times, scares the daylights out of ds frequently. Also wees where she shouldn't! She's old and deaf and practically rattles from all the drugs and I do pander to the demands to sit on my lap, but my god she's annoying sometimes!

Current DCat who came with DS and partner when they moved in with us, and was more than welcome, is unspayed and a housecat - this is due to her having alot of health issues when she was a kitten, and it was the vets advice to wait. pandemic has delayed it all further.

She's quite anti-social most of the time except with her Mum, but in season we live with a horny tribble. DP and DS are her main targets, but she also gets very chatty, and I think yesterday our conversation ran to about 30 minutes. I hope to heavens that no-one ever records me doing this, as I could see a padded cell with my nake on it being a very real possibility......

Sits on the windowsill whinging away to get in, if you open the window it will at least take 5 minutes to come in or decide he can't be arsed yet. If you go open the door he's in like a shot.

Sleeps on my laptop every single time I open it.

Lies across the top step, obviously to try kill someone.

Brings all his trophies home to under the trampoline, keeping them in the woods is obviously no fun.

Where do I start!
DCat A likes Zoom calls - frequently purrs so loudly that people comment. He also then jumps on my lap, tangles himself up in my headphones and claws his way off. Also tries to sit on the piano when I’m teaching.....
DCat 2 likes attention when I’m on Zoom calls but claws at my leg. He also likes to sit on the piano when I’m teaching or on the table overlooking my shoulder inspecting things. And batting my hands whilst I’m playing is also a great game.

Mine loafs across the stairs and refuses to budge so that you have to step over him to get downstairs. However as you take a step he then launches him in front of your feet so you nearly die every time you come downstairs. That’s a fun game.

This exact scenario. Also will only drink water from a specific glass tumbler, no other source is acceptable.

Argh.

Hurls open any door not fully opened to his satisfaction. Not with a nice paw pull, but with a slam, tada! You wouldn't think a cat could generate the force. Particularly loves suddenly revealing anyone using the loo who has not shut the door tight enough.

Participates, loudly, in every zoom meeting and phonecall. If I'm on the phone I have to walk constantly around the house as he goes from place to place following me and getting on the highest nearest object to howl into my face. And he's deafening.

Has a voice that has an amazing range of tones and expressions, which range from adorable chirps and trills to a quarterdeck bellow of get downstairs right now and feed me!

Has to stand on any kitchen counter you may be trying to prepare food on - scornfully ignores any food put on one out of the way bit of counter to try and keep him in one place - stands face to face with you and harangues you loudly while trying to body block you from whatever you were doing.

Sits on the keyboard, nose against mine, bellowing to be petted when I'm trying to work on the computer. No amount or length of petting is enough to permit working.

Door to kitchen has to be kept closed when ddog is on the loose, so dcat gains much entertainment from playing the hokey cokey - in out in out.... always on the wrong side of the door, will yell until you get up and let him out, and then immediately you close the door wants in again. Will only eat if you come too and stand as an appreciative audience. Will only eat food from a pouch, opened in front of him. Any food still remaining when he's had the three mouthfuls he wants is now Old Food and a new pouch will have to be provided in two minutes time when he's hungry again. (Thankfully other cat is a gannet and clears up after him).

Has to sleep in the sink if I have a bath. A towel should be placed in the sink to facilitate this. If I start to run a bath and he arrives before a towel is in place ready he will stand and harangue you about it.

Just as you're settling to sleep and the lights are out, will decide (although neutered from an early age) that he is feeling very sexy and will bellow a command for other cat to come and be shagged. She will eventually turn up in an irritated, oh fgs go on then way, and he'll scruff her while continuing to bellow and stamp his feet. He has no idea what else this involves, just the scruffing and stamping, but he does it thoroughly for some minutes.

Lovable, gorgeous, elderly twat.

Also same elderly cat was very attached to me but disliked my husband. She never sharpened her claws in the house usually but used to bolt into the room where hubby was watching tv, furiously sharpen her nails directly in front of him on the carpet whilst glaring at him then bolt out of the room! Loved winding him up!lol
Also she had been house trained many years but if he left anything on the floor she would pee on it but never anyone elses stuff.
Once my son was complained she had peed on a holdall of his. I said i was really surprised as she only ever did this on his dad? Son told me that the holdall was originally his dads but he had given it to him a few weeks earlier!

@MistressoftheDarkSide

I have been known to gently nudge a cat trying to expel a furball from carpet to hard surface if close enough.......

Yes!! We've learnt to recognise the sounds of an impending vom (much like plunging a toilet?) or an imminent hairball (hack! hack!) and smoothly transfer him off the sofa / rug and onto the nice wipe clean floor....not always at home though! 😩

Want to go out then come back in a minute later. I don’t have a flap so really annoying!!
When she eats her food (dry complete) she will spit half of it out and then look at her bowl in disgust as won’t eat ‘crumbs’ so we end up chucking it out 😆
And as for wet food pouches, she’ll only eat the jelly or gravy!!

Drinks from our glasses and the toilet 😆

Chews on every piece of plastic or sellotape she can find. It's such an annoying sound and it drives me mad.
She also scratches any glass or box she can get her paws on. The more I tell her off, the more she does it

What is it about plastic- mine is also obsessed with the type of plastic that dishwasher tablets come in!! Will rub and chew for ages and inspect my online shopping for such materials

Periodically throughout the day he will stand in my lap and bump the top of his head against my lips. I know it's how he shows affection, but it makes my lips all hairy.

He dips his tail in my coffee.

He begs for food. I believe this is because he was "raised" by our dog, and he thinks he's a dog too.

I'm really finely tuned to the sound of impending vom now - I can hear it from a floor away....... it's an added complication though if it's happening on the stairs.....

A previous cat of mine, managed to get between decorative quilt and the duvet underneath and do a massive, very smelly and wet accident (we like to pretend it was an accident and not entirely personal.) We had smelt it, but it had been done some time earlier, and we checked everywhere we could think of and wrote it off as litter tray related.

We discovered it when we got into bed. It had soaked through the duvet to the mattress, and the smell doubled down as it was "unveiled".

That was an interesting half hour in the wee small hours, as we had to strip bed, get washing on, find alternative bedding etc, all while gagging with our eyes watering.

That's the only time I've looked at a cat and thought "Hmm. Furry Slippers" - and then felt massively guilty for weeks!

I have two boys called Puck and Hex.

Hex: is as thick as a brick, bless him, but very affectionate. He is insanely floofy and likes to show love by swiping his tail through my mouth/food, shoving his arsehole in my face when I'm eating, and dribbling copiously, with concomitant disgusting bulldog noises I've never heard from another cat.

Puck: is a clever, devious little fucker. He begs for food like a dog, and will "punish" us if he doesn't get any (example being that he goes into the kitchen, opens the egg box and rolls the eggs one by one onto the floor so they smash. He then comes and whines until one of us goes to investigate the smashed eggs, and then curls up to watch us cleaning it up. This has happened enough times that we have had three different catches on the egg box - he's worked out how to open two of them, and it's only a matter of time before he cracks the third (pun intended).

Sits in the bath
Leaves fur balls on the stairs
Current kitten uses my clothes airers as gymnastic apparatus being very vocal whilst she does it other kitten tries to run out of the. Back door every time it opens
She also wakes the dog up to play if he’s 💤 asleep

They are all very sweet and I’m starting to become a crazy cat lady — I need to stop.

One of mine is currently doing her level best to disrupt the healing of her very expensively plated wrist joint. The second day after her surgery she climbed out the roof of her crate. It seems to be doing very well despite her efforts. Have you ever tried to stop a cat jumping? I adore her, she's incredibly sweet, but she's also dumb as a stump (I know this by comparison to my other cat) so ramps are a bit beyond her. On the plus side it makes her easier to entertain on restricted activity. Every time she goes in the living room it's a whole new experience to her.

Her-cat has been bringing worms in. Many worms. Today she has moved on to slow worms. We've had two this morning already.

Mine is a very old boy now so forgets he’s been fed and yowls and yowls every time he goes into the kitchen because he thinks that’s the only time he’s been in that day.

Will only sleep on the cleanest thing in the house, ideally something annoying to clean that’s only just dry, like a thick wool rug.

Winds up the neighbour’s annoying yappy dog by sitting one inch away on our side of the fence so dog goes ballistic. Cat not bothered.

Massively favours one child so sneaks into child’s bed all the time, despite not being allowed on the beds. Will jump off guiltily if caught.

Eats worms put out for birds, then pukes right outside the back door.