What does your Dcat do to drive you insane ( light hearted)

[Frickssake]

So far mine has, stood on the mat looking at me, then looking at the door. I've opened the door , cat looked at me as if I was mad and trotted to his basket! Stood by his food and looked at me, miawed, then started eating. As soon as I leave the room, he stops eating and walks back to the bloody door!

Since we’ve been WFH ours is very attuned to any sounds of meals being prepared, then sits on the kitchen table (also my office) howling for scraps. She has a Pavlovian response to the gas clicking in, the bread-bin being opened, and the microwave door.

I’m sure it has always been the case, we were just out more, but I now sweep the kitchen floor at least twice a day, and it is still covered in layers of white fur. (She gets brushed every single night, and really should be completely bald.)

Cat 1 - Stands on me and walks on the spot.
Smashed my 50 inch TV last night .

Cat 2 - Miaows all day fucking long from morning until night.
Stands at the door miaowing to be let out but runs away when I go to open the door.
Miaows constantly for food.

Both of them jump up and open the food where the cat food is kept and spill it all over the floor and eat all the treats if I don't remember to lock it.

Leaps onto my shoulder and perches there like a parrot at every bloody opportunity (ie. I'm sitting/standing/not moving very fast) and drools in my hair. All while purring loudly. Then clings on like a limpet and refuses to get down.

There are lots but one memorable one is the kitchen door.

She's the only cat I have been unable to train not to go on the kitchen work tops.

So she is banned from the kitchen unless a hoomin is with her.

Where do I start?! Three cats and they’re all the devil!!

Youngest cat likes to eat absolutely any bread product left out- off to buy a bread bin this afternoon after waking to find an entire pack of crumpets demolished on the floor.

Middle cat is incapable of shitting in his litter tray, several times I’ve witnessed him perch his arch on the side of it and shit on the floor- he’ll continue to scrape the litter over the tray, obviously not covering the shit on the floor!!!

Eldest cat likes to sit on the stairs and when you try to walk past, he’ll purposely move under your foot and trip you. I ended up in A&E a few months back after he tripped me down the stairs and I landed badly on my arm, it was agony for months after. Very worried about this as I’m currently pregnant and often imagine him tripping me while holding the baby 😪

Dcat likes to drink running water so we bought her a fancy waterfall cat fountain.

Of course she hates this. (unless she loves it)

She then goes from tap to tap all over the house demanding that each is put to an exacting trickle.

Then she goes outside and drinks out of puddles...

[quote sashh]There are lots but one memorable one is the kitchen door.

She's the only cat I have been unable to train not to go on the kitchen work tops.

So she is banned from the kitchen unless a hoomin is with her.

one of my cats is like my fifth child. she doesn’t leave me alone. she follows me all over the house, crawls all over me until i let her lie in my arms and then she snuggles her face under my armpit, sleeps above my head on my pillow, and even sometimes jumps in the bath with me and sits on my chest whilst i’m having a soak. she’s the softest, most loving cat ever, but it does drive me crazy sometimes when i’m trying to do something with her under my feet. one of my other cats is obsessed with my toes. he just sits there for ages nibbling and licking the ends of my toes.

The little sods really do wrap us round their cute little toe beans don't they ?

And when they're gone the howling void in our hearts is eternal......

But we wouldn't have changed a thing......

@mumsiedarlingrevolta

Dcat likes to drink running water so we bought her a fancy waterfall cat fountain.

Of course she hates this. (unless she loves it)

She then goes from tap to tap all over the house demanding that each is put to an exacting trickle.

Then she goes outside and drinks out of puddles...

Oh god yes! And the hundreds of cat beds I’ve bought over the years that aren’t anywhere near as comfy as a manky old Amazon box.

Walks past the human in the kitchen to fetch me to feed him.

Then ignores the human who is stills in the kitchen to fetch me to give him a second helping

For him read her. I keep forgetting

Mine refuses to let me go to the bathroom by myself. Even if he's outside, and he sees the bathroom light go on, he'll rush in shrieking his head off and zoom up the stairs to make sure I don't dare go for a wee unsupervised. He doesn't ever do this to DH or DS, just me. And if I close the bathroom door without him in there, he'll poke his paws underneath it and scrabble madly trying to get in!

Mine has to be escorted to bed. He refuses to use cat beds, so uses human beds; but he refuses to go upstairs on his own. He miaows at us downstairs & we're supposed to guess what he wants. If I move towards the stairs he pelts up them & then I have to follow & encourage him onto the bed & stroke him for a few minutes, after which he settles down to snooze & doesn't want any more fuss or bother. I've served my purpose.

I'm wondering if it's like the early poster with her cat asking for food in the lounge, to save him going out to the kitchen for a snack & finding an empty bowl. Maybe mine went upstairs once & the bedroom door was shut, so he had to come & get someone. Now we leave the door open for him but he still insists we go upstairs with him.

That is awesome - your cat could read the sign! And it was taken down so she knew she was finally allowed in . .

We call her the fuzzy savant, she can be incredibly bright but also incredibly dumb. The first time I had a laser pointer she walked up to me and tapped the side of the pointer.

She will sit by the window and wail piteously, I ask her if she wants to go out and if she does a little walk then she does want to go out, if she doesn't it means she wants to sit with her bum in the house and her nose out in the cold.

Show her a chicken nugget and it completely baffles her.

2 of them talk ALL THE TIME. Drives me potty.
1 of them is scared of everything.
1 of them insists on being on my lap before my arse has even hit the seat.
1 of them is massively anti social and rude.
1 of them chews for affection and walks over everything.

They all moult like champions.

Ha ha - food related things.

Cat pesters for tasty human food.

Offer cat food. Cat looks at you as if you're mad till you put it on the floor.

Cat pushes it gingerly with paw and then expects you to make it look alive for them.

By which time you have food fragments all over the place.

Cat has one disdainful taste, then recoils and stalks away haughtily at this obvious attempt to poison them.

Leaving you tring to locate shreds of meat or whatever and dispose of it.

Later cat comes back and investigates the spot, most put out that they are obviously being starved.

How long have you got?

Tilly jumps on the arm of the chair then pushes her head into my back to make me move...DH on the sofa, Charlie has the other end of the sofa...I end up sitting on the floor.

If I leave any food unguarded in the kitchen (meat and fish obvs, cottage pie, cheese, butter, jam, croissant, bacon butty, cream cake, victoria sandwich) one or other - or both - will nick it.

Every time I go to the loo I am followed. They beg for dreamies (which I keep next to the basin for emergency bugger off, I'm on the throne treats)

They wait until I've cleaned their litter trays and put fresh litter in before dropping their load. Sometimes a pee in one and a poo in the other.

They climb the inside of the windows to catch flies but won't bother with a spider.

Tilly will drag her teddy down the stairs and kill it in front of us.

They like to sit on the hob (ceramic) when I've cleaned it.

Tilly will drink from the tap.

Charlie will sit on the loo seat when he sees you approach the toilet so he has to have a dreamie before you can have a pee.

They will compete for vacant possession of a cardboard box.

Our 4 (yes 4!) take it in turns to sleep on the bed, pinning my legs under the covers, thus causing me immense pain and discomfort (cos they're all chunky fuckers)

You dislodge one, and it gets replaced almost immediately... bastards

Dcat is currently sat in the middle of the sofa in front of the laptop and webcam that are set up for parents evening in 15mins

Maybe she will do a better job than DH and I, she is the boss of the house and we all know it

@Tomnooktoldmeto

Loving the idea of your cat doing parents evening

Perhaps you could style it out and pretend it's a rogue filter like that lawyer had to do a few weeks back while in a Zoom court session?

She lies on the second to bottom stair. She blends in with the carpet. I'm sure she does this on purpose when she hears me loading up the washing basket and then I get grief for nearly stepping on a cat I can't see, whilst carrying a full washing basket, that inevitably gets dropped!

Just for fun she likes to switch it up and lie at the second from top stair.

I've posted this before, but this is how I try to study

In the evenings his sleeping spot of choice is the darkened staircase.
This is known in our house as a Kitty Landmine.

Mine is 5 months old, he is a (furr) ball of insanity and chaos. We love him very much but it is full on.

Our older cat (sadly PTS in September last year) predated the kids and she was a calm, quiet, private little thing albeit rather spoilt and was never a fan of the kids. New kitty is in everyone's business.

Main "annoyance" with him is how food motivated he is. He eats everything, we cannot leave anything out (even innocuous things like egg or avocado!) and he bothers us when eating / cooking / making the packed lunches. We cannot leave rubbish for a moment as he rips through bin bags and he has worked out how to open the bin!!!

Hoping he calms down otherwise he'll be a massive beast or end up eating something he really shouldn't

Oh and another thing is how he likes to jump on your back when you don't pay him enough attention. With his claws out!