To point out what Lovebombing looks like.

[DM1209]

Day 2 of speaking to a guy with a view to dating. DAY 2.

Have done 1 video call, to ensure there is no catfishing going on, he is very, very attractive, smart and funny.

Granted that the conversation has been really easy, for long periods of time and he's very responsive and keen but there are elements of his communication which are really off.
Whenever I throw something back and ask him why he's so 'expressive', his response is that he is very open and very 'live in the moment'. I read that as he speaks without thinking and is very good at the OLD thing.

He messaged instantly with kisses at the end of his messages and has continued.

He'll make a sexual comment and then 'lol' at the end of it.

He is very open about his 'feelings'.

He's very complimentary.

He can hold a fantastic conversation and then he'll make it sexual again.

He is certain there is 'something' between us.

He is very focused on my appearance and when he first answered the video call he was nervous because he didn't expect me to look like my pictures. I think he was very practiced with that nervousness and he's done the same routine before.

I'm attaching a couple of screenshots. I am certain he's lovebombing me. I'm not concerned, I can absolutely hold my own and I've kept my responses very light, a little playful but firm when necessary.
It'll be interesting to get other peoples opinion though.

Am I being jaded?

Where are the screenshots?

Anyway, the guy is a creep. He wants a shag. End of.
Why are you even entertaining this prick?
Get rid of him.

@DM1209

Sorry Vipers, will use laptop to attach screenshots.

So the conversations over the phone are very over the top. Over text he becomes more 'we WILL have sex!'

Over the phone so far we've had:

Let's go away together or when we go away together for weekend breaks and holidays we will do x, y and z.

Him telling me he knows already when we meet (we won't be meeting!) he will fall in love fast.

The old, 'I have never wanted children with anyone but you could persuade me'.

I'd love for us to get married in Vegas.

My personal favourite, I feel like I can be completely myself around you and I know this is going to be something amazing.

By the end of conversation 1, he had told me 6 times I had blown him away.

Christ, is this my ex? (who turned out to be an abusive, violent shit)

Let's go away together or when we go away together for weekend breaks and holidays we will do x, y and z

Yep, he said this

Him telling me he knows already when we meet (we won't be meeting!) he will fall in love fast

We met IRL but yes, he said love at first sight etc

The old, 'I have never wanted children with anyone but you could persuade me'

check.

I'd love for us to get married in Vegas

Yes, this also.

I mean, my ex must be over 50 by now and I'd put money on him not being 'very very attractive' by now, due to his alcohlism among other things. So it's not him, but they do seem to read from a script, sometimes.

Run, OP. Run far away. Don't even entertain it 'for a laugh'.

Too early to say if it's lovebombing. That's part of an escalating pattern to keep an abused partner hooked.

What it does look like is desperation. Biggest turn off ever, no matter how attractive they are!

'And considering CoVid I'd probably also wear a face mask and spray him with Zoflora before we got down to it'.

This made me hoot!

Bold fail.

@Confusedandshaken

This is so far off lovebombing. This is classic player. If you are on board with a quick shag and moving on, go for it. But he will be doing this to several other women at the same time so use protection. And considering CoVid I'd probably also wear a face mask and spray him with Zoflora before we got down to it.

This isn't love bombing. He sounds like a typical player who is after a shag.

Only time will tell if he is still as interested once you've had sex.

Sorry, @DM1209 but in these days of women campaigning for the right to be able to walk the streets in safety without having men catcall, make inappropriate sexual comments, or assault them, I just do not understand why you would have continued this conversation beyond the first sexual comment. He sounds vile. You should block him. I'd have done it a lot sooner!.

Yikes - hes after a shag. Also, major boring lines - are guys these days that un-inspired!

I know a guy like this, but ive known him much longer, ive never met him, but apparently he had fallen in love with me, and was ready to be a stepfather to my children. All in the space of a few weeks.....

What IS lovebombing though?

TBh I don't think he is practised or experienced at this. its all too see through. The only women who will bite are those who are a bit damaged by life and vulnerable to desperately wanting to believe his shite.

Not sure about lovebombing really, but he wants a shag for sure…

Ps when you do get married in Vegas let us know…lol

Why are you even entertaining this bs, you know it is.

Is he local to you? Any chance of having to bump in to him in real life at any point?

He sounds like a sex pest, and you could persuade me to have children? How does he think that is in any way attractive persuading a man to have children with you? Eww.

When I was OLD I would avoid these kind of men, only after one thing and if you didn’t play their game they would get bored and stop messaging, but would occasionally check in to see if you’ve changed your mind or were bored! I found they only messaged certain times of the day, often morning around 9 (bored at work maybe).

red flags!

From the original post he sounded charming but the second post, ugh.

This one in particular really bothers me "The old, 'I have never wanted children with anyone but you could persuade me'."

He wants to have sex with you. Love bombing would be more emotional, think premature declarations of "love", naming imaginary children and that cringy old line "I was nothing before I met you" (so he'll disappear when you leave? Really?).

If you want to get your leg over too fill your boots but if you want more move on.

Will totally play along as and when it suits me.

He may just be 'heart on his sleeve' type but it's not working for me and my instinct is telling me something is off.

Right now he is a whole red flag in himself.

Absolutely baffled as to why anyone would want to waste time 'playing along' with someone who is a walking red flag, unless they have such an ego that being fawned over, however insincere or inappropriately OTT is actually how you get your kicks.

If your instinct is shouting NO then WTF are you doing?

What’s the point of spending any time on him?

He's just after a shag but the fact you've gone along with it, FaceTimed him already and had long chats before starting a thread about him shows you're exactly the type of person that is susceptible to this kind of persuasion.

You're convincing yourself that you're in control of this and doing it on your time etc but you're not. When he eventually gets his own way you will be the first one saying, I did it because it suited me, I was in charge, on my terms #bossbitch #bullshit

Sounds more like he wants to get his leg over than love bombing

This!

I'd put a lot of money on this guy being a right plAyer and if op doesn't put out soon he'll ghost her and if she dies sleep with him (which she's entitled too) he'll also ghost her straight after. He sounds exhausting xx

@happinessischocolate

If you do dump him, tell him you just don't feel he's really interested 😂 totally confuse him

😂

Bog standard salesman technique. He's trying to close the deal.

Now used by pick up artist fan boys.

Blocking him first would be far better.