To feel like a hypocrite, standing outside my house at 8

[Breastfeedingworries]

My mums just called asking if I was going to respect the 8pm Covid acknowledgement of lives lost and I don’t know if it’s right.

I haven’t stuck to the rules, I’ve seen unhappy stressed out friends, my friend whose single with twins has needed me when she left abusive partner. I’ve also saw close friends of mine. I just wonder if I’m disrespecting the dead. :/

I could’ve been a cause of loss of life and I regret my actions the past year, I’ve been foolish and selfish. Feeling lonely and seeing people, just wanting life to be normal for me and dd, I stopped listening to the news, got on with the life I had, saw people. I’m sadden buy what I’ve done the past year but I was trying to keep positive for dd. Lot of changes this year, some good and bad and I just don’t want to be a hypocrite.

Sorry rant over.

You're over-thinking - we all do what we can and what we think is right at the time. I lost my Dad in December, but I won't be going outside for any vigils/clapping/whatever. To be honest I think remembering someone can be done privately, we don't need to virtue-signal or grief-signal by standing outside.

I think the clapping, standing out on doorstep it’s hollow virtue signalling
Make a difference by following rules,maintain good hygiene,support your bubble. That makes a tangible difference
Want to make a difference? write to your MP express displeasure about proposed 1% NHS pay award

Yes I think it would be hypocritical of you to do that. Well done for recognising your mistakes and the harm you have caused. Maybe you could write a letter expressing your sorrow to the dead instead, that might feel more meaningful.

You could kneel on the doorstep in a hair shirt, beating your breast?

Maybe you could write a letter expressing your sorrow to the dead instead, that might feel more meaningful
Who’d she address that to?
Don’t be ghoulish suggesting a letter to the deceased

@LegAndSparkle

Yes I think it would be hypocritical of you to do that. Well done for recognising your mistakes and the harm you have caused. Maybe you could write a letter expressing your sorrow to the dead instead, that might feel more meaningful.

@LegAndSparkle how do you atone? What acts of contrition do you undertake? Apart from corresponding with the dead....

Maybe you could write a letter expressing your sorrow to the dead instead, that might feel more meaningful.

One of the more batshit suggestions I’ve seen on mumsnet.

The dead really aren't going to be concerned if you stand outside at 8 or not. These gestures are always for the people left behind. That's not to imply they are worthless, but I wouldn't be concerned about disrespecting the dead. If you want to because you want to remember someone lost or want to respect people around you who are remembering their own lost then do.

Writing to the deceased
Yes.It’s certainly riding high in the pomposity Charts

@KoalaLlama

Maybe you could write a letter expressing your sorrow to the dead instead, that might feel more meaningful.

One of the more batshit suggestions I’ve seen on mumsnet.

😂😂😂

It sounds like some of your decisions at least, meet the criteria of being exceptions eg friend leaving abusive husband.

If there are other situations where you broke the rules, without good cause, then I don't think it's up to anyone here to judge. I strongly object if you did - I'm a single parent, no support, achingly lonely for adult company, missing my mum, who wasn't long widowed before this started. I have absolutely stuck to the rules & more (at Christmas - Ireland - I'd a short window where I could have travelled to see my mum. I could see the way case numbers were going & as she was preparing to have an operation, I didn't. I was proved correct by the restrictions that followed, after a massive spike in cases).

But it's not up to me to point fingers at other people - I think make whatever choice sits best with you.

(I'm not in the UK, but don't like the idea of clapping for lives lost at all abs wouldn't do it if it came here).

I haven’t stuck to the rules, I’ve seen unhappy stressed out friends, my friend whose single with twins has needed me when she left abusive partner. I’ve also saw close friends of mine. I just wonder if I’m disrespecting the dead. :/

I really don't like these faux-woe-is-me posts. You clearly don't think you did anything wrong.

Yes it would be hypocritical. literally everyone has felt like you have and wanted to get on as normal.

I think I clapped one time, and then I was told it was to be a weekly thing and thought it was all a bit strange and seemed like an act to distract people from the poor treatment of FLHW so didn’t do it again.
My neighbours knocked on diligently with their broom every week at 7.58pm, and every week I had to pretend I didn’t hear it. Do whatever you want, it’ll make no difference. Light a candle and have a moment of thoughtful silence if you’d prefer.

Writing a letter addressed to the dead is for personal reflection/catharsis. You obviously don't send it!

She’s reflecting on past year not submitting a psychodynamic essay
Keep this in some kind of perspective

Well, yes it would be hypocritical.

The Dead are dead. There was no heroic fight, no nation defining moment, no great lesson to obtain. Just a stupid virus that preys on the weakest and the unlucky. And many more are to come. Yet we must keep on living.
Focus on living well, and that includes having a good mental health and positive headspace. Do you best moving forward: mitigate your risks, get the vaccine when offered, and take care of yourself and the one around you.
Do not beat yourself up.

@HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee

I think the clapping, standing out on doorstep it’s hollow virtue signalling Make a difference by following rules,maintain good hygiene,support your bubble. That makes a tangible difference Want to make a difference? write to your MP express displeasure about proposed 1% NHS pay award

This

do you regret your actions? the best you can do is start sticking to the rules now and learn from your mistakes, work out why you couldn't stick to it and do better if heaven forbid there's a next time

and I just don’t want to be a hypocrite

Sorry it did sound like I was doing a woe is me post, tbf I picked an example which was self exonerating. I have broke other rules throughout lockdown which weren’t worthy and I have no excuse for.

I’m doing to confess them now and take the abuse and I won’t explain any mitigating circumstances, plus some are purely selfish.

I saw my neighbor throughout the first one,

I saw my single mum friend of 1 (while still mixing with my neighbor, I did tell her and we distanced)

As time went on, I went and had my nails done, I’ve had filler appointments and Botox in august.

I’ve seen all my closest friends this year at least once, I’ve had my hair done, took my dd to play dates and birthday gatherings (that was once)

I’ve generally tried to live my life as though COVID wasn’t happening and I am sorry for what I’ve done.

Feeling very disappointed in myself.

Want to own everything I’ve done this past year.

As time went on, I went and had my nails done, I’ve had filler appointments and Botox in august.

What the actual fuck????

THIS is why I have encouraged my Mum to stay in. You genuinely could have spread the virus far and wide and I (for one) am not going to agree that lighting a f**king candle exempts you from owning that. For the first time on Mumsnet I'm genuinely disgusted.