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To feel like a hypocrite, standing outside my house at 8

119 replies

Breastfeedingworries · 23/03/2021 19:39

My mums just called asking if I was going to respect the 8pm Covid acknowledgement of lives lost and I don’t know if it’s right.

I haven’t stuck to the rules, I’ve seen unhappy stressed out friends, my friend whose single with twins has needed me when she left abusive partner. I’ve also saw close friends of mine. I just wonder if I’m disrespecting the dead. :/

I could’ve been a cause of loss of life and I regret my actions the past year, I’ve been foolish and selfish. Feeling lonely and seeing people, just wanting life to be normal for me and dd, I stopped listening to the news, got on with the life I had, saw people. I’m sadden buy what I’ve done the past year but I was trying to keep positive for dd. Lot of changes this year, some good and bad and I just don’t want to be a hypocrite.

Sorry rant over.

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?


You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

multiplemum3 · 23/03/2021 21:09

What kind of new bullshit covid threat is this then? Either you're looking to start some stupid thread or you're a twat. Either way the latter applies.

OfaFrenchmind2 · 23/03/2021 21:10

Want to own everything I’ve done this past year. Why? This whole self-flagellation seems a bit extreme for your "crimes", which are quite minor I assure you. Is there anything else beyond this vigil that triggered it?

Frogsonglue · 23/03/2021 21:11

You don't have to do this to yourself you know. You really haven't done anything that shocking.

Royalbloo · 23/03/2021 21:12

If we all ignored the guidelines to go and get Botox, fillers and see our friends, where would we be now? Nonsense - you should feel guilty.

KingsRoad · 23/03/2021 21:13

We could have all had Botox in august if we had wanted to.

Emeraldshamrock · 23/03/2021 21:13

We all wanted a normal life for our DC. Thankfully the majority realised life isn't always about what you want, the unfortunate side is lots decided they weren't going to stick by the rules and like you done what they wanted.

Theunamedcat · 23/03/2021 21:14

We did the minutes silence earlier why are we standing on our doorstep?

HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee · 23/03/2021 21:15

You really haven't done anything that shocking. ⬅️Actually she has, it’s the casual disregard whilst others daily curtail their own activities and contacts
However the maudlin self flagellation it’s unnecessary and doesn’t retrospectively address anything

AnneLovesGilbert · 23/03/2021 21:15

What is the point of this? It sounds goady as fuck. You do not want to confess or atone. There’s no such thing in this situation.

Don’t you think the nails brag is a step too far Hmm

Royalbloo · 23/03/2021 21:15

Agree - the damage is done and you'll ever know what you caused (directly or indirectly)

KingsRoad · 23/03/2021 21:16

Anyway, no you shouldn't be on your doorstep as it would have been hypocritical, you are right.

My NDN does every door step thing. Banging pans whilst breaking every rule going. It's all very self indulgent. Just live your own life, you don't need approval from other people.

Breastfeedingworries · 23/03/2021 21:18

In fairness, the Dentist surgery where I got those treatments done was open and taking clients and legal, just not ethical. :(

OP posts:
notanothertakeaway · 23/03/2021 21:20

I have limited / no sympathy for people who haven't stuck to the rules. This is hard for all of us

And no compliance is a large factor in the virus spreading

So I'm not going to say "don't beat yourself up, it's fine"

Royalbloo · 23/03/2021 21:21

Do what you want then - what's the point?!

Royalbloo · 23/03/2021 21:22

Tell you what. Instead of an anonymous Mumsnet post, whack this on Facebook for all to see if you really want to hear what people think of your behaviour. This is nonsense.

AnaofBroceliande · 23/03/2021 21:22

So don't do it. Just tell her you have other plans. Who cares? I've never clapped or lit candles or sung Kumbaya or been silent. If you want to, fine, if not, fine, too.

Inthefuture · 23/03/2021 21:25

Why are you suddenly acting remorseful now?

babbaloushka · 23/03/2021 21:25

Don't do it then. I managed to not to get my nails done but I didn't go out.

Dazedandconfused2021 · 23/03/2021 21:29

In real life I know ONE family who has stuck to the rules perfectly. Everyone else I know has followed them less and less as time has gone on. These people are still living far from normal lives. The family I know who have followed the rules now have children who are afraid to go out and mix with people and they are all dreading the restrictions lifting. Only on mumsnet have I seen so many people who are supposedly following the rules to the letter. You did what you did, you can't take it back so what's the point in beating yourself up now? You were allowed to have beauty treatments in August so all these people who are horrified at that, well you were 'following the rules' then so don't give that one a second thought. The moment Dominic Cummings broke so many rules and had no consequences was the moment a lot of people started to 'bend' the rules. As for clapping on the door step that is the ultimate in virtue signalling. Silent reflection would be more appropriate than all the look at me clapping. OP don't give yourself a hard time.

Speakuptomakeyourselfheard · 23/03/2021 21:30

You and all those like you are truly disgusting! You SHOULD be ashamed of yourself! It's because of people like you that I've just lost a very good friend to Covid, your selfishness makes me sick. I do hope you don't expect the nurses and doctors who have done their utmost to help the sick, to help you if you get Covid, but then I don't suppose you'll own up to them, will you?

Mydogmylife · 23/03/2021 21:31


Sorry it did sound like I was doing a woe is me post, tbf I picked an example which was self exonerating. I have broke other rules throughout lockdown which weren’t worthy and I have no excuse for.

I’m doing to confess them now and take the abuse and I won’t explain any mitigating circumstances, plus some are purely selfish.

I saw my neighbor throughout the first one,

I saw my single mum friend of 1 (while still mixing with my neighbor, I did tell her and we distanced)

As time went on, I went and had my nails done, I’ve had filler appointments and Botox in august.

I’ve seen all my closest friends this year at least once, I’ve had my hair done, took my dd to play dates and birthday gatherings (that was once)

I’ve generally tried to live my life as though COVID wasn’t happening and I am sorry for what I’ve done.

Feeling very disappointed in myself.

Want to own everything I’ve done this past year.

I'm sorry, we are randoms on mumsnet, if you're looking for absolution I suggest a church for confession.
expectopelargonium · 23/03/2021 21:32

I put a candle outside our front door in memory of my friend, who died last month.

Royalbloo · 23/03/2021 21:36

I know three people who died and lit a candle for each of them. RIP.

Libraryghost · 23/03/2021 21:55

Why are you doing this to yourself op? Seriously all you are going get from people is judgy comments and blamed for every death that has occurred. It’s is a virus, it was always going to spread, the aim was always to slow it down not eradicate it. Unless op was having a rave every night with a few hundred people I doubt she needs to castigate herself.

AnaofBroceliande · 23/03/2021 21:58


You and all those like you are truly disgusting! You SHOULD be ashamed of yourself! It's because of people like you that I've just lost a very good friend to Covid, your selfishness makes me sick. I do hope you don't expect the nurses and doctors who have done their utmost to help the sick, to help you if you get Covid, but then I don't suppose you'll own up to them, will you?

My father died from Covid. I blame the virus. So did he.
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