Chucking plate and cup after eating

[Whenspringcomes]

Dd, 2, 8 is going through a phase of finishing her dinner and proceeding to chuck her plate and cup at me/on the floor. We’ve told her firmly, shouted (hate doing this) switched the tv off immediately if she’s been allowed to watch, kept her in the chair for longer afterwards so she’s not allowed to play because she’s throwing cutlery etc. Nothing works 🤷🏻‍♀️
Any suggestions of what to do/why she’s doing it? Is it a normal phase?

Make her pick it up. No toys/t.v. till she has done.

Agree they like cause and effect human reactions.. much more fun to have a real life 'wind up ' adult than a wind up toy. It is classic cause and effect...some element of control as well. Normal to an extent. My DD used to hit her childminders daughter and then just smile....I was so frustrated.
I would say she is quite big to still be in a high chair though .. I couldn't physically fit either of mine in after 18months! It may be adding to her frustration. Sometimes they are happier with a childs chair at the table so they can climb down when they have had enough

What about something like this? A suction tray for the highchair
easytots.com/product/easymat-original-transition-to-table-suction-tray-placemat/

@Wroxie No development delay, the opposite I’d say, wide vocabulary, very independent etc..can’t answer me when I ask why, but I perfectly capable of telling me everything else 🤷🏻‍♀️She knows it makes us upset/angry but keeps doing it. Her behaviour just seems very ‘Naughty’ at the moment, like almost deliberately pushing things, she’s started to spit her water out too, very hyper and hard to control, generally isn’t like this.
As I say, we think her last back teeth are almost through and she has been waking up more and unable to sleep so could be overtired, just driving us nuts!

I agree that 2yos are bonkers, and you need to swipe the plate just before she finishes.

I can actually see why toddlers do this - is definitely signifies you've finished your meal!

DS used to do this with his bedtime milk even why he was three, nearly four, so he always had to have it in in a lidded cup (and we learned to duck )

If you don't get there before the plate is frisbeed across the room, a very firm "no thank you" will be as effective as shouting.

Does she need to be in a highchair? I would get a booster seat on a normal dining chair, that she can get up and down by herself and give her some responsibility for helping to clear the table when the meal is finished.

@Mollymopple Yeah, she’s almost ready to be out of the chair, physically she’s fairly slim and slight so fits in easily and it’s useful to contain her for a short while whilst I wake up properly when she has her breakfast etc. When we sit her at the table by herself, she often is up and down all the time

Ds also went through this phase and like others have said we just kept watch and whipped the plate away before he could do it. With him though it was more of a "right I've finished so I don't need that there anymore" kind of thing and it didn't last long. If dd is smiling though then she's definitely testing to see what she can get away with. Just whip the plate away and ignore any attempts to throw it, she'll get bored soon enough(and then start testing something else😜)

Give her ones which will break and see what her reaction is when it happens.

Disclaimer- if it doesn’t shock her into stopping, it’s not my fault- I’ve never tried this myself .

If I take her out of the highchair, do you/did you all sit your child at the dining table for every single meal? Seems quite formal? In the mornings she’s allowed to watch a little children’s breakfast tv whilst eating

@Imissmoominmama

Give her ones which will break and see what her reaction is when it happens.

Disclaimer- if it doesn’t shock her into stopping, it’s not my fault- I’ve never tried this myself .

Brilliant plan! Made me LOL

All of mine did the throwing thing, I remember posting on here in desperation. We used to use those sucker bowls that stick to the highchair or tray. Toddlers are idiots.

We had a little table and chairs from IKEA kids section at that age just the right size for them and you can put them in from of the TV for breakfast etc

All meals should be eaten sat at the table with no TV in my opinion, otherwise how do you model good behaviour, such as not throwing your plate? Put her in a proper chair at the table and ignore the plate throwing - it sounds like she's doing it to get a reaction.

28 😂😂😂

Anyway I remember the food throwing and occasionally plate discarding. It went on for bloody ever (or it felt like it). However was just a phase.

I think forget the plate in the first place just use hi chair tray or promote to big girl at the table status with clear expectation to act like the grown ups - hope you don’t throw plates?

If I take her out of the highchair, do you/did you all sit your child at the dining table for every single meal?
DS had a wooden high chair that I converted to a high chair without crossbar so he could get up at down himself at about 18 months, sat at the table. Otherwise he sat on a child's chair at a child's table in the sitting room from about the same age.

2 years 8 months still in a high chair? Christ.

Why do you need her contained? Of course she is going to throw stuff if she is contained, she really isn't a baby. I am amazed at the stuff you read on MN is keeping a child over 2 (who can walk, climb up and manoeuvre safely) really a thing?

Do you eat together for every meal? Sometimes behaviour like this is attention seeking when a child eats alone. Try to eat with her for every meal at the table, and sit with her when she's at the high chair too. Meals are social events.

You might try giving her her food directly on the high chair tray, eliminating the middle man, so to speak.
Or give her her food as you normally do and at the 15 minute mark take her plate/bowl away.

If she's up and down all the time when she's sitting at the table with you, you need to start being firm about manners. She needs to ask for permission to leave the table. If she gets down without permission, her food should be cleared away. You don't have to comment. It can be set aside/ go on the counter (don't scrape her plate, etc) and she can ask to return to the table and resume eating if she wants, but she needs to associate leaving the table with an end to the meal. It's easier to get table manners right when a child is young.

Meals should last about 20 minutes max. Don't make her sit for longer.

Make sure there is at least a four hour gap between each meal so she is really hungry at mealtimes and will focus on eating. Avoid giving snacks.

He used his high chair at the table until 4 or 5, it was just like a bar stool with curved sides/back.

In answer to the question about high chair yes they sit at the table for every single meal. Yes they don't stay there long but that is life with toddlers. They eat a small amount to satisfy themselves, usually not what their parents think is right and get up and go. Honestly review the sitting at the table properly and having a decent conversation with them when they are about 8. Until then, pick your battles

@Whenspringcomes

If I take her out of the highchair, do you/did you all sit your child at the dining table for every single meal? Seems quite formal? In the mornings she’s allowed to watch a little children’s breakfast tv whilst eating

Mine sit at the table for nearly every meal, it is table in the kitchen so not too formal. At 2/3 they would get up and potter around but youngest is now 4 nearly 5 and sits well at the table for meals.

@Bunnybigears

We had a little table and chairs from IKEA kids section at that age just the right size for them and you can put them in from of the TV for breakfast etc

Us too. The kids loved having their own little table.

OP it sounds like she's doing it for a reaction. Either ignore and be quick with the swiping or make a huge song and dance of her being a big girl, nearly at pre-school, with her own little table and chairs and pretty, smashable crockery.

DD is 15 months, a bit younger than your DD, but she used to throw her plate on the floor when she was finished. We beat her too it by taking it off her just as she was picking it up and asking if she'd finished, she's soon learnt just to pass us the plate when she's done now and shout 'ta', we do have the odd blip if we don't take it off her as quick as she wanted us to but seems to work

If I take her out of the highchair, do you/did you all sit your child at the dining table for every single meal? Seems quite formal? In the mornings she’s allowed to watch a little children’s breakfast tv whilst eating

Yes, apart from breakfast which was at the kitchen table, and I sat with the DCs for every meal.

No TV at mealtime. I turned on a music station on the radio.

@mathanxiety We all eat together each meal. She doesn’t generally mind being in her chair but perhaps it’s time to move her out of it and be strict about staying in her chair until she’s finished.