Do you enjoy sex with your partner?

[Sanddownlane16]

My partner and I have been together for 2.5 years and have a 1 year old. When we have sex, I’m just waiting for it to be over. I can’t get off and when he touches me I cringe. He’s a good dad and we get on well and never argue and I do find him attractive. Anyone outside would think we have the perfect relationship. But Is this normal?

Ah. Well if he's shit at sex and makes no effort, it's not surprising you've gone off it.

What would happen if you said "get me off first, or you aren't getting yours"? I'm also a believer in "ladies come first" and last

Yes, very much so. It's a huge part of our relationship and I am a lucky woman!

No, too much resentment.
I do it to keep our relationship limping along while I covertly get my life in order.

I can't get enough of my dh. Together nearly 18 years.

You partner sounds terrible at sex. Not sure I could get past this if he made no effort to listen and improve.

@Sanddownlane16

He finishes in about three minutes and will then say ‘do you want me to get you off’ and then it’ll be a case of sitting on the sofa while he tries. He won’t do it before sex, either. So, it’s a bit hopeless.

Urgh. This is your answer OP. I'm not surprised you don't enjoy it. I couldn't stay with someone like this.

Is there never foreplay etc and time spent making sure you have a good time before be finishes? Is what you've described how it always is? Has it always been that way?

Honestly...no.
I love the bones of him, but sex has always been an issue. He lacks confidence, suffers with PE.
Nowadays I just can't be bothered. I really love sex, if I could sleep with other men without hurting him then I would. Purely for a selfish, satisfactory reason and of course it would never happen.

I have resigned myself to a life of shit sex (or none at all), as I would rather that then lose him. Super jealous of other people though.

No wonder you don’t want to have sex with him, why does he see pleasuring you as an optional extra at the end rather than integral part of sex in a loving relationship? He really needs to be less selfish if your relationship is to continue.

To answer your question, yes I very much enjoy sex with my husband, it’s an important part of our relationship to both of us but my husband is very giving in that area and often puts my pleasure before his own.

No, I don’t think it’s normal.

We’ve been together 17 years and still can’t get enough of each other. I couldn’t wait to be healed after birth to have sex again and I would hate to be in a relationship where sex wasn’t a priority.

Well it’s not normal to feel this way really, I loved sex with my ex, I’m single now but I do miss it 😏 it’s the only thing I miss about him

Yes, it’s a big part of our relationship.

Your partner sounds dreadful at sex! How lazy, boring, uninspired and clinical. No wonder you can’t be bothered, that wouldn’t work for me.

@Givemeabreak88

Well it’s not normal to feel this way really, I loved sex with my ex, I’m single now but I do miss it 😏 it’s the only thing I miss about him

Perfectly normal to feel like that when the sex is so shit.

Yes. 26 years together, 23 married. Sex at least 4 times per week and climax every time.

@Sanddownlane16

I think I have sex out of necessity, in hopes that at least once it will change and because I want our relationship to work.

Have you tried telling him what he's doing isn't working? Telling him what to do instead? If he's that shit at sex, he's never going to work it out on his own.

If he has a strop at being given suggestions on how to make sex better for you, he's probably not grown up enough to be having sex or children. Though at least it will mean he stops asking you to have terrible sex...

But it’s not normal to think most women don’t enjoy sex, it’s most likely her partner is the problem not all women don’t like/enjoy it

I did, sometimes. But he was selfish and sexually abusive, and I was always slightly on edge in case he wanted to do something I didn't. I could have said no, but he'd push and push and either do it anyway or I'd give in to get it over with.

He's an ex (and dead now), so I don't have to worry. Will not put up with that in a new relationship.

I enjoy it, my organisation is very important to him! But I have regular headaches and insomnia so I'm often not in the mood for it unfortunately

Yes, love sex with my husband. 6 years together and 1 DC later and I still do. Had very little sex drive when I was pregnant and up to a year after.

You've been together less than 3 years, altho have a child you should still be enjoying sex together.
If you're uncompatible, communicate what needs to improve.

I hate oral sex.Not because I have body hang ups I just hate the way it feels
And that's giving and receiving. Would be quite happy to never have to do it again.

I think truth be told more ppl hate oral than they care to admit .

Probably not relevant to your op so sorry just thought I'd put it out there!

It sounds like he’s a bit selfish in bed, no wonder your put off.

Very much so!

For those that don't, it must really suck, both for you and your partner. Nobody would sign up for such a crap situation.

He's a poor lover- that's the issue.

I love sex with my husband. I don't think this is normal for a good relationship but its understandable you feel this way as he sounds awful and selfish in bed.

31 years together, 25 married.
Orgasm every time. I love sex with DH. Very satisfied woman!