Neighbour reporting on me to exH

[Minikievs]

So I have found out today that one of my neighbours (I'm not sure which one, I know her name but not her address) is best friends with my exH girlfriend. Which is fine, I couldn't give less of a shit.

Except I've learnt that she has been telling her friend (exH GF) or my exH himself about things I've been "up to".

This includes telling him that my son was playing on the front a few days ago. He's isolating from school as his year group bubble was sent home. He was playing outside my house, middle of the day, on his own, on my drive, with our cat. ExH made a comment about it, and I assumed our son had told his dad he'd been playing outside.
Turns out, it was the neighbour that had told him. She's also told him when my ex boyfriend (who I was bubbled with) was at my house, as my exH made a comment to my son about exBF car being at mine, even down to what colour car it is. This is the one that's made me most angry.

I am furious. I feel it's an absolute invasion of my privacy. This woman is a complete stranger to me. What happens at my house, who my visitors are etc is NOONE'S business except my own.

I've drafted a message to exH girlfriend to ask her to pass a message to her friend about how cross I am and what an invasion it is. I've not sent it yet.
I do know the neighbours name so I could send it to her Facebook I guess. If I knew which house she lived at, I'd knock on her door in person.

AIBU to send the message saying butt the fuck out of my life? (It isn't worded like that. It's very polite but firm)

Spread a rumour that the nosy neighbours running a knocking shop business 😂

Next time he drops his stupid hints, raise an eyebrow and sigh. You know, like when a teacher gets asked a numpty question they can't be bothered to answer. If he persists with his fact dropping, roll your eyes and say "And?" Hard stare then change the subject.
Or tell him in mind numbing detail everything you've done that day, from the toothpaste you used, to how many pieces of toast you had for breakfast. And what you put on it.
Or you could invent a love life to tell him all about. Be brazen as you dare and shame him.
Or you could just say a cheery Fuck off there's a dear.

You could say nothing and do nothing , and wait
Even smile cheerily at her
Then in the middle of the night spray abuse on her front door
With red paint 🎨
You need to think of something really nasty that 100% won’t get back to you

I’m not helping here

I would be thinking up ways to mess with their heads tbh
Different cars
Maybe see if anyone has a boat or a motor home they can park on your drive - but just a couple of days at a time

If you do find out who it is then only use it to your advantage, all the crazy things ex has ever done and drip feed them. Warn her to check her friend is OK because he is very controlling etc. Comment on how wierd it is that after all this time ex is still interested in what you are doing. Express concern that he isn't over you. You might find friend is managed out of the situation.

Ooh for sale or for rent sign

We had one put up by accident next to our house once and the agent took a week to move it

Or buy some meat
Let it rot a bit
Then (this will be unpleasant )
Empty onto her doorstep
Again at 3am

But it is an invasion into your privacy Unfortunately you have no evidence she is 'stalking' what you do compared to being a gossip.

Personally, I treat everyone and everything I do outside my house (or inside if visible) as possible gossip.

My ex used to say things that made it obvious he had driven past my house etc -grey rock -no response. None.

Rent your driveway out? change your bedroom light to a colour changing one have your friends pull onto your driveway look around the outside of your house and drive away

Deny it all when he asks about it say what are you talking about? (Make sure your child sees none of this) basically discredit her and get a ring doorbell my ex gets so many people to spy on me but he also loves to drive past himself so I get questions like who was parked outside YOUR HOUSE the other day 🤔 I said on the public road? Could be anyone 🙄

Erm I'd say something.
That's not okay to be in your business the bloody curtain twitcher.

Your anger is justified!

However - sending the letter will simply amuse your ex - and probably the neighbour. It won't improve anything for you.

I agree with above.
Use the knowledge you have that this is a source of information for your ex. Don't let on that you know. Wait for opportunity. (Chilled revenge is best etc.)

Get someone to pop to neighbors with a gift, flowers, champagne delivery, tell neighbor they are looking for a lady called minikievs who has a gift from Mr exh but the house number was wrong . 😈 See how long that takes to get back to the girlfriend

Do nothing

You'll look mad as Mr McMad from Madtown in the Madlands

A neighbour up the road is definitely on mumsnet as they've added giant fluorescent house numbers to the front of their house (based on the brilliant thread a few days ago I think grin) I hope it's her and she sees this thread.

Completely OT I know, but can you link to this thread please?!

I like the boring diary one

@Minikievs

The sound like irritating as Fxck childish Arseholes !

Who are sad Pathetic Losers really,
with nothing better going on in their lives even before Pre -covid lockdowns !

Either just totally ignore they are not really worth giving a few mind headspace too.!

I’d be tempted to put a For Sale sign up...possibly with SOLD across it. Remove it before he arrives to pick or drop but have A LOT of cardboard boxes in the hallway.

@LaurieFairyCake

Do nothing

You'll look mad as Mr McMad from Madtown in the Madlands

That's boring though.

Might as well have some fun.
Get a large pampas grass for the front garden.

Don't do anything at all. Carrying on living your life and don't give them a second thought.

If you text them they will love knowing they've wound you up, trust me. When they realise they aren't getting a reaction, they will get bored and stop.

I would have some jokes prepared instead of contacting them! Maybe comments like awww are you missing living with me so much you are having to get nosey Nora to keep you updated? I was going to get a burglar alarm/cctv but I won’t bother now I’ve got Nora keeping an eye out and reporting back.

If you ever have direct contact with the girlfriend maybe be really patronising and say don’t worry lovey, I’m not a threat, I’ve got rid of him once already, you don’t need to have people keeping an eye on me!

Say to him with a smile OMG your the partner whose Mrs is shagging her boss, that woman is such a gossip.

I'd keep a log of this since it looks like harassment. However, I would also like to do things like make up some fake blood and paint the windows with it.

Or dig some body sized holes in the garden late at night...just saying.

Are you any good at topiary OP?

I wouldn’t do or say any of them. All 3 of them must be very bored indeed.

I vote ignore. Be the classy one.

They are giving you a surprising amount of headspace. Do they not have anything more exciting in their lives to discuss bless them?

(Tbf maybe they don’t at the mo as we’re all still stuck at home )