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AIBU?

To think we should forgive people for mistakes they made when they were teenagers

111 replies

satishoused · 20/03/2021 07:20

The editor of teen vogue has been sacked for racist and homophobic tweets she wrote when she was a teenager.

I'm not condoning racism and homophobia and I'm NOT a fan of Teen Vogue BUT it does worry me that kids now grow up in a world where everything they do and say is documented on social media and is around forever. They can't make mistakes.

More and more I think we need to keep kids off social media. It is toxic and the culture it has created is brutal and unforgiving.

OP posts:
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NutellaEllaElla · 20/03/2021 07:21

Cancel culture is toxic

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Sirzy · 20/03/2021 07:23

I think on the whole you are right.

But I don’t think having someone who has tweeted thinks like that as an editor of a magazine aimed at teens is right. A line has to be drawn somewhere.

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Hollyhocksarenotmessy · 20/03/2021 07:28

I think people should move on from teen mistakes, yes, but is being racist really a 'mistake'?

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Newrumpus · 20/03/2021 07:29

The fools who conduct these witch hunts don’t realise that it will come round to get them eventually. I haven’t seen the details of this case so I’m not commenting on that, but in some of these cases that I have seen the comments are taken out of context and are not actually racist/homophobic. They are just unfashionable or made by someone whose face doesn’t fit.
We need to fight for free speech.

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BingPot99 · 20/03/2021 07:31

Isn't part of the issue with stuff like this resurfacing that the individuals involved don't react 'properly' when the old tweets come to light? For example, if they said something along the lines of "yes, I wrote that and apologise for any offence caused. It was wrong then, is wrong now and I would never think such things now" everyone might move past it. Unfortunately, people often shout loudly about how horrible the person is and the person has no opportunity /is too intimidated to apologise properly.

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LonstantonSpiceMuseum · 20/03/2021 07:39

I agree with you - teens, and young adults are heavily influenced by their families and the people around them. Remember that many they have no agency and many might have to conform to their parents beliefs else it can get quite bad for them.

Personally I was raised strictly religious, and acted religious, openly saying religious things so that my parents, and anyone that knew them or could snitch on me didn't suspect that I wanted to just get out.
Like many religious children, once I moved out and was financially independent I was able to be a lot more liberal with what I said.
It also took a while for me to start learning more about topics like sexuality unfortunately I was genuinely homophobic, and actually scared of gay people until I had been exposed to more media, the internet and friends around me.

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ShinyMe · 20/03/2021 07:43

Well 'teenager' is a big range. There's a bit of a difference between a 13 year old's mistake and an 18 year old's. But I wouldn't class racism and homophobia as mistakes, they're unacceptable, especially in someone who is editing a national publication.

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DinosaurDiana · 20/03/2021 07:44

But isn’t it about educating people ? Don’t you want them to learn and change ?

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FrankButchersDickieBow · 20/03/2021 07:46

I think it's majorly hypocritical that teen vogue has 'cancelled' someone who made offensive comments a decade ago, but will happily tell young girls that they should have anal sex and give them tips on how allow a man to shove their dicks up their arses.

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Sea12 · 20/03/2021 07:48

I one off mistake maybe, however she made that mistake again and again and again and clearly held toxic racist views.

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NailsNeedDoing · 20/03/2021 07:48

I agree with you. Unless there is a direct victim of the teenage stupidity who has actually suffered as a result, then we do need to forgive teenagers for their mistakes, especially as many of them can be attributed to a lack of support from adults.

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BananaHammock23 · 20/03/2021 07:52

Totally agree! I remember saying some homophobic things when I was 18/19 - I came out about 5 years later! When we're young we have so much internalised hatred and it comes out in horrible ways.

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Yellowhighheels · 20/03/2021 07:52

Generally speaking yes, as I feel that digging into someone's actions as a child or minor to decide their employability is wrong as kids are so defined by their surroundings which are so unequal. I'm not sure of the full details of this and am sure there are exceptions but I believe that teenage criminal offences generally wouldn't be considered by employers.

However, I think that as a teen magazine, Vogue prob need to be seen as setting an example to their readership and they will see a direct example of the consequences of posting that sort of stuff.

I think the editor has apologised though and at that time I don't think we grasped the concept of these posts being permanently accessible.

Not condoning what she wrote, if she'd been an adult it would be a fair cop. To be honest, I think the age of the teenager matters too. There's a chasm of difference between 13 and 19 and I believe this woman was about 17 which for me sits on the cusp of this being a childish mistake and a case of 'should've known better'.

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Theunamedcat · 20/03/2021 07:53

@Hollyhocksarenotmessy

I think people should move on from teen mistakes, yes, but is being racist really a 'mistake'?

Ask prince harry? Made several public "mistakes" was even sent on a course about it look who he married clearly no longer racist (if he was it would be really weird to marry meghan)
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Well1000 · 20/03/2021 07:54

It depends. The editor being sacked is the correct choice. Why would anyone support a magazine knowing the editor held those views. People usually 'change' or supposedly seem to when they are called out on it.

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MrsHuntGeneNotJeremyObviously · 20/03/2021 07:54

I think that people who have done the wrong thing as a teen are actually the perfect people to be editing teen magazines - they have the perspective to understand the thought processes of some kids and maybe steer them in a better direction.

Bring an arsehole as a teen shouldn't affect a person's whole future career - who hasn't behaved like a test at some point in their youth? We were just lucky that the things we said and did aren't recorded forever on twitter!
Besides which, the brain doesn't stop developing until a person is 25, so we ought to be a little more tolerant of teen opinions.

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ChameleonClara · 20/03/2021 07:55

If you are Boris Johnson, you can write blatant lies, homophobic and racist newspaper articles and be PM.

England is totally fucked up at the moment.

I don't thinking being racist in tweets age 17 is a good look for a magazine editor, but I do despair we have such a corrupt lying government and no one bats an eyelid.

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CreosoteQueen · 20/03/2021 07:55

Not sure really. I was never racist or homophobic as a teen. None of my friends or family were either. It speaks to something pretty awful in a person’s soul if they are, in my opinion. Should someone who was a racist teenager be allowed to influence the attitudes of teenagers today? Perhaps not.

I think it also depends on how the racism comes to light. If it is found out and the person then apologises it’s not worth much. If they themselves call attention to their past behaviour and apologise and take responsibility for it, I would be much more forgiving and have a lot more respect.

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twelly · 20/03/2021 07:55

None of us are the same person at 30 or 40 than we were as a teenager . People should not be held accountable for the view they had then

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Moondust001 · 20/03/2021 07:56

Well, she hasn't been sacked because (a) she hadn't started work for them and (b) it was a mutually agreed parting of the ways. And the context here is extremely relevant...this has happened in the USA, and her racist comments were against Asian-Americans, and issue which is huge in the US at the moment after a massive spike in anti Asian-American feeling and the murder of several Asian-American women this week, apparently simply because of their ethnicity. So appointing someone to a high profile role in this context who has previously made such similar comments is hardly going to be up there as a great idea.

In general, anyone, teenager or not, should have the right to be forgiven for things they have done that they shouldn't have done. But that isn't a carte blanche to say that past mistakes can't catch up with you and that they may have consequences.

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ChameleonClara · 20/03/2021 07:57

I think being racist or homophobic is a very different ballpark to being an 'arsehole' as a teen tbh.

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Luckystar1 · 20/03/2021 07:57

I find this quite interesting. I am 34, so I have had the internet for quite a large part of my life, but not entirely.

We are often told that the you get generation are very internet/computer savvy, but I don’t see it. And I think these tweets are an example of that.

I have always been extremely cautious of what (if anything) I put online, understanding that it cannot be easily removed etc.

The younger generation don’t seem to grasp this, despite extensive education on the risks, and seem to think that every single thought that occurs to them needs to be posted online.

I do think these tweets are problematic, and are not something that I, personally, would ever have posted, despite being brought up in an area that is less cosmopolitan and diverse than the average area.

It does seem a shame that this woman’s career has been seriously undermined at only 27, and it is a very big lesson on internet use.

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UsedUpUsername · 20/03/2021 07:58

Didn’t she try to cancel Charles Barkley (very famous basketball player).

How defensive was she of the Covington boys or the girl denied college admission because of a rap lyric she sang while in high school? Probably not very.

Sorry, but the people behind cancel culture will never learn unless you cancel them right back.

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BingPot99 · 20/03/2021 07:58

Exactly - saying something homophobic as a teenager doesn't automatically mean someone still believes / would say those things as an adult. People grow up an mature, get more life experience and realise how wrong they were. If something offensive resurfaces from their teen years, they should apologise /acknowledge wrongdoing and everyone moves on. People change.

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Luckystar1 · 20/03/2021 07:59

*younger generation

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