To think we should forgive people for mistakes they made when they were teenagers

[satishoused]

The editor of teen vogue has been sacked for racist and homophobic tweets she wrote when she was a teenager.

I'm not condoning racism and homophobia and I'm NOT a fan of Teen Vogue BUT it does worry me that kids now grow up in a world where everything they do and say is documented on social media and is around forever. They can't make mistakes.

More and more I think we need to keep kids off social media. It is toxic and the culture it has created is brutal and unforgiving.

To clarify, as regards my post, when I mean I grew up in a not very diverse area, I mean that someone ‘different’ wouldn’t stood out and a comment might have less ‘racist’ undertone and more ‘descriptive’, but even then I’d have had the wherewithal to see that the possibility of misinterpretation on the internet is extremely high.

I do get what you’re saying, but the problem for me is, “Can’t people even make mistakes anymore without being ‘cancelled’?” all too often means, “Oh God; you can’t say anything anymore” - which is usually a thinly veiled complaint of a bigot.

I also hear the, “Oh, it’s so difficult for young people these days; all their mistakes are recorded forever, not like when we were young” line being trotted out a lot. Well, that’s tough, frankly. Worry more about what someone has said rather than whether they would have got away with it 20 years ago.

So when were the laws on racism passed? Long before many of us were born. Writing anything takes enough time for you to think, should I do this?

No sympathy, though for many other reasons I agree with the OP about keeping children away from social media.

@Hollyhocksarenotmessy

I think people should move on from teen mistakes, yes, but is being racist really a 'mistake'?

Prince Harry seems to have got away with it.

Forgiving a tweet? Ok. Forgiving Shamima Begum committing terrorist acts? No. Forgiving the boys who murdered Jamie Bulger? Also no. There’s a limit to what can be forgiven imo.

Teens should be given a break, to a point, as the frontal lobes in the brain which regulate impulse control are not fully grown until 27. But the persistent pattern of racism by the teen vogue editor do not come under impulse control issues. She had a racist belief over a period of time which she felt entitled to publish. She demonstrated white supremacy. I knew racism was abhorrent as soon as l learned how Nazis tortured pregnant women as an 8 year old. I haven't changed that view, because l know its wrong to hate a race or ethnic group, its just logic. How can someone hate all Asians? Do you know each one personally?

@ChameleonClara hear, hear.

It's a bit strange to interpret this as a punishment. The most likely explanation is that the magazine was protecting itself against a potential witch-hunt, and the second most likely is that they were protecting her. Whether it's fair or not is neither here nor there, you can't have a rational discussion with a mob.

@LonstantonSpiceMuseum

I agree with you - teens, and young adults are heavily influenced by their families and the people around them. Remember that many they have no agency and many might have to conform to their parents beliefs else it can get quite bad for them.

Personally I was raised strictly religious, and acted religious, openly saying religious things so that my parents, and anyone that knew them or could snitch on me didn't suspect that I wanted to just get out.
Like many religious children, once I moved out and was financially independent I was able to be a lot more liberal with what I said.
It also took a while for me to start learning more about topics like sexuality unfortunately I was genuinely homophobic, and actually scared of gay people until I had been exposed to more media, the internet and friends around me.

Agree with this wholeheartedly. I was definitely influenced by my parents archaic views on a lot of things.

Also depends what was said. Things are considered cancel worthy now when they were much more normal even just a few years ago. I'm not talking about full on homophobia/hatred but use of certain terms. Look at trans issues now. Do we know what she tweeted? I think some things would be unforgivable but others maybe not.

She demonstrated white supremacy.

She’s not white. But her tweets were racist and homophobic.

Yep, I agree - it’s terrifying that mistakes made as children can ruin their adult lives in this way. I made a huge number of terrible mistakes and am so grateful that I am not followed around by them... part of growing up is the process of getting it wrong so you can learn how to get it right!

Also, this is an inevitable consequence of saying only white people can be racist because of ‘power’.

She felt like she could be racist towards Asian Americans without facing the consequences. But the US is at a high point of black violence against the Asian community.

She was made an example of in this atmosphere. I don’t feel one bit sorry for her.

@RebeccaCloud9

They were pretty bad. She tweeted about not wanting to wake up with ‘swollen Asian eyes’ and complained about being ‘outdone by an asian’. She used ‘gay’ as a derogatory term and apparently used another homophobic slur which the papers haven’t printed.

OK, just googled it. As a teenager in the 90s, I would never have said that stuff and would have known it was wrong then.

There is a difference between court action in those who are dangers to society and having held a view as a teenager. Teenagers hold very different views and often they are quite militant either way on many debates. They change and alter views often - that is part of growing up and maturing. If we hold people to views they had 10/20 years ago then their is no point in trying to educate or change people's views as we are saying you are that same person with that same view point

Forgive? Maybe for being generally stupid and led by others, yes. Forget? Absolutely not, no, never.
A girl I went to school with liked to start fires. Lit wheelie bins, we all knew as she bragged about it. We all told her to stop, it was wrong etc. she still did it, it went wrong, a house burnt down. She went to jail.
On some level you know (if parents have bothered to teach you to question your every action) what is wrong.

@CuthbertDibbleandGrubb

So when were the laws on racism passed? Long before many of us were born. Writing anything takes enough time for you to think, should I do this?

No sympathy, though for many other reasons I agree with the OP about keeping children away from social media.

I think the first anti-racism laws in the UK were passed in the mid-1960s. I'm fairly sure it was around the time my brother was born (1965) and we moved house.

My family were very political, so this stuff was talked about at home. I would have been 9 or 10.

I disagree with cancel culture.

I also think that people are mad to have the same twitter account all their lives if they've been on there since they were young and stupid. I am surprised that a person in her position has never thought to trawl back through her SM posts given the climate we live in.

Thank you @user20211
I think I had a gut feeling that something's were wrong but I was so insecure that I believed everyone telling me I was wrong, or not to worry. I was told I was just a teenager and didn't know the world yet. I can see this even happening with peer pressure.

@BingPot99

Exactly - saying something homophobic as a teenager doesn't automatically mean someone still believes / would say those things as an adult. People grow up an mature, get more life experience and realise how wrong they were. If something offensive resurfaces from their teen years, they should apologise /acknowledge wrongdoing and everyone moves on. People change.

Exactly, it’s ignorance and how they are brought up . People grow up have life experiences and educate themselves. Isn’t that what we want people to stop being ignorant? I’d be mortified if any silly opinion I had as a teen was documented, although I don’t think I was racist or homophobic but now maybe . You apologise for offence and move on .

In the main, yes I agree most teenagers should be allowed to change. Not all of us grow up with good role models, political awareness, being treated nicely ourselves. Given what we know about the teenage brain development think it makes sense.

Yes depending on the crime.
Saying something stupid or using offensnsive language as a teenager, forgiveable.
Killing someone/ joining a terrorist cell etc, not so much

@StillCoughingandLaughing

I do get what you’re saying, but the problem for me is, “Can’t people even make mistakes anymore without being ‘cancelled’?” all too often means, “Oh God; you can’t say anything anymore” - which is usually a thinly veiled complaint of a bigot.

I also hear the, “Oh, it’s so difficult for young people these days; all their mistakes are recorded forever, not like when we were young” line being trotted out a lot. Well, that’s tough, frankly. Worry more about what someone has said rather than whether they would have got away with it 20 years ago.

I think some teenagers are often trying to just be provocative or repeating things they hear without understanding the implications. God knows what ill informed opinions I might have posted about twenty years ago.

I'm not sure why it is not seen as OK anymore to have that personal growth. Many a powerful tale from a good person might start with them explaining how they used to be ignorant and dismissive of a topic before having a revelation and seeing the error of their ways. Now, it seems we expect people to spring fully formed and enlightened people the minute they hit puberty.

I grew up with an emotionally abusive, quite racist father (and mother, really) who was homophobic and sexist to boot. Where I grew up was a big BNP stronghold. I vividly remember being very right wing and believing in the death penalty as a teen. I wasn’t racist but I could very well have been homophobic if confronted with it.

I’m 33 now and would be considered a raging lefty by many on here, and certainly by my family.

Opinions and attitudes change, especially when teens leave home and are exposed to a variety of people and cultures. It definitely depends on the content of the tweet and the reaction to it now from the tweeter.