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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have told off these children in the park?

102 replies

Lollyneenah · 19/03/2021 22:07

I feel like I might have been tbh.

Took my dd (9) to the park after school today and was watching from the bench as she played on a swing. She'd been on it a couple of minutes when 3 girls who looked about a year older sort of gathered around her.
She makes friends quite easily so I assumed all good until she got off quickly and walked away. I caught up with her and she was red faced and tearful. She said that the one of the girls had called her a" fat loser" (she's neither of those things) in order for them to use this swing.

I went straight over to the girls and asked her to point out who her mother was as I wanted to speak to her about her behaviour. This girl was surly and rude and wouldn't point out her mum so I said "speak to my daughter like that again and you will be in a world of trouble".

I feel so fucking rubbish that I lost my temper and spoke to a 10 year old like that.

I'm normally so cool headed but eurgh.

OP posts:
WindowsSmindows · 19/03/2021 22:08

I think you were dead right, you should be proud.

tarapinn · 19/03/2021 22:11

Well done you! Don't feel bad. At all

footprintsintheslow · 19/03/2021 22:13

Don't feel bad. They sound horrid

Chunkymenrock · 19/03/2021 22:13

Why would you feel bad about confronting a bully? Well done.

Donotfeedthebears · 19/03/2021 22:13

I don’t blame you at all but you’re lucky you didn’t get shanked. Primary school kids carry knives these days!

user1473878824 · 19/03/2021 22:14

Don’t feel bad! What a horrible child. Is your daughter okay?

goodenoughmum88 · 19/03/2021 22:14

We have to call kids out for behaviour and more importantly act as role models for our own kids. If my child did this i’d want them told.

Your daughter watched you stand up for her, knowing that what those others had done wasn’t ok. You’re a hero Mama, hold your head up high, and make sure your daughter does too.

redwineandonionrings · 19/03/2021 22:15

Don't feel rubbish, you stuck up for your daughter and I'd have said the same (or worse tbh).

In an ideal world maybe you'd give the girls the benefit of the doubt and assume that maybe they've not got the best role models at home, and you'd explain the hurt they'd caused rather than having a go at them. But is that realistic? No. So please don't feel bad. Is was a horrible thing for them to say. Your poor DD. Is she ok now?

Mif4 · 19/03/2021 22:15

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

purpleme12 · 19/03/2021 22:19

I don't blame you
It would piss me off to

FilthyforFirth · 19/03/2021 22:19

Jesus you were a lot more restrained than I would have been!

Dobbyismyfavourite · 19/03/2021 22:23

Perfectly restrained. Your DD knows you have her back.

Original poster
Lollyneenah · 19/03/2021 22:23

Shes a bit quiet this evening and had a lot of cuddle time on the sofa. It's so bloody frustrating trying to navigate this stuff.
She is such a nice and passive kid and I'm trying to encourage her to be more assertive while remaining polite but it's fucking hard

OP posts:
SteelMack · 19/03/2021 22:25

@Donotfeedthebears

I don’t blame you at all but you’re lucky you didn’t get shanked. Primary school kids carry knives these days!
Really??
RiverMeadow · 19/03/2021 22:25

You did the right thing.

Showing your daughter that you will stand up for her or defend her is absolutely the right thing to do!

What a horrid group of girls!

SnackSizeRaisin · 19/03/2021 22:27

To be honest it's probably not wise to be too assertive in the face of three older, aggressive girls. It it was one girl her own age that would be different.
You did the right thing to stick up for her. I would tell your daughter not to take this incident personally, these are just nasty people and if it happens again to call you straight away.

Disneymum1993 · 19/03/2021 22:29

I would have done the same in that situation some children are just nasty pieces of work! Hope your dd is ok

garlictwist · 19/03/2021 22:32

I am quite surprised by some of the replies on here. I wouldn't have interfered in a children's argument but would have just talked to my daughter about it later and given possible suggestions for responses etc. I don't think the parents need to get involved for some name calling.

SheikahSlate · 19/03/2021 22:33

@Lollyneenah

Shes a bit quiet this evening and had a lot of cuddle time on the sofa. It's so bloody frustrating trying to navigate this stuff. She is such a nice and passive kid and I'm trying to encourage her to be more assertive while remaining polite but it's fucking hard
You sound like an amazing mother. Your DD is very lucky. My DD is similar...very gentle and sensitive. The thought of anyone being unpleasant to her like that makes me feel sick, though I'm sure one day I will have to deal with it (she's only 6 right now). And when that happens, I'm pretty sure my response will be just like yours (if not worse).

I dread to think what sort of mother that horrible child in the playground might have.

ploofs · 19/03/2021 22:34

Well done. I would've done the same but I bet the adrenaline was pumping afterwards which made you feel weird. You totally did the right thing.

NiceGerbil · 19/03/2021 22:34

Important for your daughter to know that you will stand up for her.

Greenrubber · 19/03/2021 22:36

@Donotfeedthebears
That's so scary

WorraLiberty · 19/03/2021 22:38

Rubbish?

Would you have felt better if you didn't stick up for your child?

Shrivelled · 19/03/2021 22:39

I think more people should call out bad behaviour when they see it, in children or adults.

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