To have told off these children in the park?

[Lollyneenah]

I feel like I might have been tbh.

Took my dd (9) to the park after school today and was watching from the bench as she played on a swing. She'd been on it a couple of minutes when 3 girls who looked about a year older sort of gathered around her.
She makes friends quite easily so I assumed all good until she got off quickly and walked away. I caught up with her and she was red faced and tearful. She said that the one of the girls had called her a" fat loser" (she's neither of those things) in order for them to use this swing.

I went straight over to the girls and asked her to point out who her mother was as I wanted to speak to her about her behaviour. This girl was surly and rude and wouldn't point out her mum so I said "speak to my daughter like that again and you will be in a world of trouble".

I feel so fucking rubbish that I lost my temper and spoke to a 10 year old like that.

I'm normally so cool headed but eurgh.

As a primary teacher, I have no filter in situations like these, and wouldn't think twice about calling out the behaviour of those girls. Ditto kids littering, not being careful around little kids in the park, not social distancing, being idiots on public transport etc. And, like Mummyoflittledragon, definitely on DD1's WhatsApp groups...

[quote Haydugi]@GrandTheftWalrus

I will stand up for my dd and my unborn dc no matter what. Although dd does have an attitude on her

I’m not sure you’re doing her any favours standing up for her no matter what. If your DD was in the wrong and rude to other kids, she should have apologised.

Obviously different if they were bullying her.[/quote]
When she is cheeky to other people I give her a row and she has to apologise. But as she is now only 4 it rarely happens.

Well done for challenging these children. And incidentally for not increasing their vocabulary with a few unparliamentary words.

Meh. You didn't hurt her or intimidate her. She was a little shit and really if kids are little shits it's often because their parents don't keep that behaviour in check. So actually I'm not sure speaking to her parents would have helped. Basically bad behaviour in kids needs calling out and it's fair enough to do it.

Don't feel bad- I think I would have been inclined to loudly call out 'whose child is this please?' whilst pointing at the offending 9/10yo until someone claimed her.

She sounds like the future secondary school 'queen bee' in the making.

Good for you OP, your poor DD.

I detest bullying in any shape or form. I hope she gets her comeuppance!

Well done...be proud.
You just want to give these vile kids a right good slap....but obviously you can't.

Nasty little brat good for you!!

You weren't unreasonable to tell them off, no but I think threatening them (and that is what you did) was a bad move.

Shame they weren’t in school uniform. You did the right thing IMO
Hope your DD focuses on her brilliant mum and not the nasty girls.

It would have only been unreasonable if you had called the bully a fat loser as well.

Your girl knows she has a mum who looks out for her. You acted entirely appropriately which is commendable as there’s few things more emotive.

I'm trying to encourage her to be more assertive

You modelled assertiveness and she won't forget it. You taught her that you have her back. If I were the other girl's mother I'd thank you too.

@Etinox
You’d be surprised at what primary school aged kids can do. I work in a school where it isn’t uncommon to have to check certain Y4, 5 and 6 boys as they come into school. There is a group that hang around together constantly harassing locals. They steal from the local shop, they graffiti, they hurl abuse. We are always getting complaints into school from locals. One boy brought a huge kitchen knife in his backpack one day. He was planning on getting a boy who he’d had an ongoing argument with on the way home. It was another child in the class who told us. And if you see the size that some older primary aged kids can get to...they are bigger than me. I’ve been knocked to the ground, had chairs thrown at me and a bookcase tipped on me, I’ve been bitten and kicked.Do not underestimate an angry primary aged child.

Sorry to jump on the thread OP. I absolutely think you did the right thing. Some kids think they’re untouchable. They need calling out on bullying behaviour. I hope your dd is okay.

@Weedinosaurus - wow - where do you teach? Knocked to the ground? Knives in school with a view to attack? That sounds horrendous.

I’ve told off other people’s kids loads of times if they were being little shits. It used to be how society worked.

If you don’t do it and just walk away you’re teaching your child to be a victim.

The only time I won’t intervene is if I think the parents are likely to be violent.

@garlictwist

I am quite surprised by some of the replies on here. I wouldn't have interfered in a children's argument but would have just talked to my daughter about it later and given possible suggestions for responses etc. I don't think the parents need to get involved for some name calling.

Are you saying you'd let other kids call your child "a fat loser"

I pity any kids you have or plan on having. Given your answer here

Your poor daughter. Kids can be so cruel. You did the right thing. It’s important for her to know you had her back and to model standing up for yourself.

Lool
I’d of said a lot worse

I don’t blame you at all but you’re lucky you didn’t get shanked. Primary school kids carry knives these days!

😂

This is why when dealing with gobby ten year olds I normally just go in with a flying kick.

You never know if they're armed, why chance it.

This is why when dealing with gobby ten year olds I normally just go in with a flying kick.

You never know if they're armed, why chance it.

Sorry, that was meant to be bold, quoting previous post!

Good for you, nasty little turd. It's good for your DD to learn to stand up to bullies so you're leading by example.

Don't feel bad. If she's big enough to hang up on a smaller child an call her a fat loser, then she's big enough to get told off for it.

However, for all those mocking the idea that primary children in groups could lose no threat to an adult, you are speaking from a very sheltered perspective. There are 10 year olds around here who have no fear of adults or of physical confrontation if challenged.

@goodenoughmum88

We have to call kids out for behaviour and more importantly act as role models for our own kids. If my child did this i’d want them told.

Your daughter watched you stand up for her, knowing that what those others had done wasn’t ok. You’re a hero Mama, hold your head up high, and make sure your daughter does too.

⬆️ This!

Good for you! I've done exactly the same in the past!!

@Cowbells in a small village school in the NE of England. It’s really not that uncommon.
I’m not at that school now but in my current one, I’ve just renewed my restraint training as it’s needed with a child who’s just come into Y2.