AIBU?
Items in child's bed
usernamqwertyu · 19/03/2021 08:57
Our 4-year-old keeps accumulating items they like to have with them in bed. Currently have a towel, a blanket, a flannel, a sleeping bag, eight cuddly toys and about a dozen books (in addition to actual bedding, naturally). No massive attachment to any of it, just a preference to have it all. The child fits easily into their current bed by themselves, but it gets rather cramped with all this additional stuff. Since the set keeps growing, one parent wants to give the child a full-size single bed in order to accommodate more stuff. I think we should do some parenting and limit the set of stuff the child has in bed to what fits in bed. Apparently I'm being very unreasonable. Am I?
Am I being unreasonable?
AIBUYou have one vote. All votes are anonymous.
TeenMinusTests · 19/03/2021 09:05
When DD was nearing 7 we changed her toddler bed to a Stompa one, which being Scandinavian is longer than a normal single. For the next 7 years the bottom half of the bed was filled with cuddly toys and random books. 
I would stick to their current bed until they themselves outgrow it.
(Can you remove things by stealth?)
Tinydinosaur · 19/03/2021 09:07
You're both being unreasonable. I used to keep loads of stuff in my bed that my mum would try to make me move, why? It didn't affect her at all. Does it affect you that your kid likes a bed full of comforts? You don't need to get her a bigger bed, it's probably the feeling of being a bit cramped that's comforting. Just leave her to it, how how has it even become a problem? I hate sleeping in an empty bed, luckily I now have DH and Ddog to cramp me.
BitchIAmFromChicago · 19/03/2021 09:11
My 4 year old does this...we call them his ‘precious things’ . He’s currently got two teddies, a happy meal beanie baby, two toy cars and a small Easter chicken thing. It’s irritating trying to find them all in the morning but it’s not harming anyone so we leave him to it.
Monr0e · 19/03/2021 09:16
My DS used to sleep with 3 toy cars and a potato under his pillow.
DD would end up on the floor some nights to give a her teddies room in her bed.
If he is sleeping well and he's not taking a set of kitchen knives to bed with Jim, I'd leave him to it. They do grow out of it, far too quickly unfortunately.
Birdslovesinging · 19/03/2021 09:19
My 5 year old does this. Drives me crazy. Currently she has a load of teddies in her bed. I removed all books and the other crap she has in their. Agree with the poster who said a bigger bed means a lot more stuff as my child has a full sized single. Grr.
MarjoryMinor · 19/03/2021 09:20
One of mine had bunk beds in their room and by the age of 8 had swapped bunks because the first one was too full. They now sleep squished in a corner because the second one is overflowing. To be fair they have a lot of sensory needs so do love being in confined spaces!
OzziePopPop · 19/03/2021 09:24
Meh, my son’s autistic and sleeps with 60+ stuffed toy cows (v outing if anyone knows me waves). He also has a sleeping bag and a duvet and a weighted blanket. Oh and usually several kilos of Lego, a few books etc. I’ve cleared it out periodically and he can’t sleep as it feels odd apparently. The cows are non-negotiable and each has a name, number and history. If his dad sleeps up there (DS likes to have sleepovers with me sometimes) he usually complains about the weird stuff he finds!
I’d go with it for now, at such a young age it’s likely comfort and will be grown out of. Get the single bed IMO.
🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄🐄
GeorgeandHarold66 · 19/03/2021 09:25
Is it actually affecting their sleep though? You only need to find a solution if you're actually sure you have a problem.
My ds also sleeps with a huge collection of stuff dotted around his bed. I sometimes go in to check on him and shove a few of the harder bits to the side or bottom so that he doesn't roll on them in his sleep but apart from that, I leave it. He sleeps fine.
You'll be wanting to get a new bed within the next couple of years anyway (assuming still in a toddler bed at this stage) so it's not a terrible idea but as pp said, they will fill it up.
As for limiting stuff, unless you have a problem with sleep I wouldn't be inclined to start a new bedtime battle personally.
cultkid · 19/03/2021 09:26
My son sleeps with books toys shoes towels blankets pillows duvet etc etc in his bed and I am constantly trying to clean his room
In fact I'm in here now hating the mess he makes within like.. 10 mins
He also cuts up things like his sheets when he is cross or books and leaves the scraps everywhere he steals scissors etc
His bed is king sized
NamiSwan · 19/03/2021 09:28
My 5 yo has a single bed, she stuffs it to the gills with random crap. Books, teddies, pictures she's drawn, old birthday cards, toys, etc etc. At the end of the bed, next to her, under her pillow, just all over the place. I just let her get on with it. When we change her sheets it all goes on the floor and she puts back on the bed what she wants and she puts away what she doesn't.
pitterpatterrain · 19/03/2021 09:31
Hah same here - although my youngest hasn’t quite got there yet but my eldest has a bunch of books, random toys, colouring stuff, bits of paper etc etc - similar to a PP it all comes off during bedding changes
Sometimes we have a 20 min “pass me down what you don’t need right now” session but the accumulation continues (doesn’t help it’s a bunk bed ...)
ShyTown · 19/03/2021 09:33
I’d let them get on with it if it’s not disturbing their sleep. My 3YO DD has about 20 soft toys on her bed but goes to bed happily with zero fuss and sleeps for 12 hours every night so I don’t see what I’d be trying to achieve by taking some of the toys away. Pick your battles comes to mind. Regardless I’d get a 4YO full size single bed though - he can’t be that far off outgrowing the toddler bed (presuming that’s what he’s in) anyway.
kindlyensure · 19/03/2021 09:34
I think YABU to say you should do some 'parenting', implying that providing a bigger bed isn't 'parenting' also.
Your 'parenting' is to take away the child's things.
Your partner's 'parenting' is to provide a better space to keep those things in (and accommodate your growing child.)
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