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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Items in child's bed

81 replies

usernamqwertyu · 19/03/2021 08:57

Our 4-year-old keeps accumulating items they like to have with them in bed. Currently have a towel, a blanket, a flannel, a sleeping bag, eight cuddly toys and about a dozen books (in addition to actual bedding, naturally). No massive attachment to any of it, just a preference to have it all. The child fits easily into their current bed by themselves, but it gets rather cramped with all this additional stuff. Since the set keeps growing, one parent wants to give the child a full-size single bed in order to accommodate more stuff. I think we should do some parenting and limit the set of stuff the child has in bed to what fits in bed. Apparently I'm being very unreasonable. Am I?

OP posts:
Mummy1608 · 19/03/2021 11:05

This thread reminds me...

I went off to boarding school when I was 11 (my choice, things were dramatic at home, I loved boarding school). Anyway when deciding what to pack, my Mum and I hesitated about taking my teddy because what if everyone had outgrown them and I'd be teased? So I was like, goodbye till Christmas, teddy.

To my amazement every single 11yo had packed teddies and not a few had beds full of them so there was hardly room for themselves. We had to make our beds every morning, and they'd take all the teddies off, make the bed neatly, and calmly arrange their teddies in tidy rows on the bed. It would take them ages. I on the other hand just rolled out of bed to breakfast haha. I did take one teddy the next term though as I was the odd one out not having one!

So, OP, your son may be like this for many years to come hehe

BrownEyedGirl80 · 19/03/2021 11:10

Ds 7 has a small double bed with over 30 soft toys in it! How he fits in I don't know

HauntedPencil · 19/03/2021 11:11

Mine slept in a box full of things in his bed for a time

angelaEhen · 19/03/2021 11:11

My six year old is the same I let him keep all his stuff it makes him feel secure and he has a full size single

B33Fr33 · 19/03/2021 11:12

A 5 year old will have outgrown an undersized single any way though. You'll have to get a bigger bed as a separate issue.

BrownEyedGirl80 · 19/03/2021 11:13

p.s if you have the space for a small double id definitely recommend.Ds sleeps in funny positions and the size difference means he can't fall out,plus it'll last him into his teens hopefully

ElBandito · 19/03/2021 11:13

They are going to need a new bed at some point. Sounds like you want to put it off just to be a bit mean to be honest. If you can't afford it then that's another matter.

MedusasBadHairDay · 19/03/2021 11:16

We've always limited what the DC could have in their bed, largely because they'd play instead of sleeping.

We used to limit the number of cuddly toys, but now as long as there is space for them to sleep we don't worry about that.

But they absolutely aren't allowed books or toys that aren't cuddly in the bed.

I definitely wouldn't buy them a bigger bed just to accommodate more cuddly toys/blankets

ShortColdandGrey · 19/03/2021 11:18

I have to sneak in my DD's bedroom and take the plastic spiky dinosaurs out of her bed. That are hidden between the pillows and stuffed toys. I am afraid if you get them a bigger bed they will just fill it with even more stuff Smile

YonderTweek · 19/03/2021 11:34

My 4yo currently has in his bed: 5-6 muslin cloths, two blankets, around 10 stuffed animals, a B&Q membership card, an assortment of wooden trains, an excavator, a book, a water bottle and other random things I'm forgetting. He says he needs them all and he organises them all in the evening. I'm not bothered by it but it does bother me when he appears in our bed every night and wants to bring ALL of it with him. Grin I've told him he can bring a few muzzies and around 4 animals because I'm a big softie.

I would probably get a bigger bed if the child needed it anyway, but perhaps not just to accommodate loads of stuff.

ineedaholidayandwine · 19/03/2021 11:38

Can you put a basket on the bed? My daughter has full sized single bed, loves her teddies so at the bottom of the bed i put a basket for them to live in, she can reach down and grab whichever she likes when she likes.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 19/03/2021 11:41

Surely at 4 they should be in a proper bed and not a toddler bed, regardless of how much crap they like to sleep with.

ThornAmongstRoses · 19/03/2021 11:44

Just let them get in with it.

My son has 12 cuddly toys, 3 plastic dinosaurs, two plastic robots, two hot water bottles and at least 10 books Grin

I can barely see him amongst everything he’s amassed but he’s happy enough Grin

LuaDipa · 19/03/2021 11:51

My dd age 12 still does this. She has always loved to have all of her things around her, whereas I would prefer them to be put away neatly in a cupboard! Soft toys, notepads, extra blankets that are kicked to the bottom of her bed, I can’t imagine how she manages to sleep in there. It drives me barmy as I hate clutter, but she changes her own bed, with help from dh, so I leave her to it.

thecatandthevicar · 19/03/2021 11:54

@BigSandyBalls2015

Surely at 4 they should be in a proper bed and not a toddler bed, regardless of how much crap they like to sleep with.
who said it's a "toddler bed"?

An adult single size bed takes a lot of space, there's a nice choice of various sizes bigger than a cot - which is what some families used as a "toddler bed', with the sizes removed.

thecatandthevicar · 19/03/2021 11:56

Why do you want to limit it? As long as there's nothing unsafe or unhealthy?

if it bothers you too much, remove a couple of bits once they are asleep, but kids tend to like sleeping surrounded by tens of soft toys, books, favorite toys.

Doesn't hurt anyone. I

Borntohula · 19/03/2021 11:57

My DS with ASD once took a (artificial) Christmas tree to bed.

SoCrimeaRiver · 19/03/2021 12:01

Just buy them a copy of Dogger then you can talk about how squashed the older sister is, and whether they feel too cramped at night. If they don't keep the current bed and leave them to it.

SnowdaySewday · 19/03/2021 12:10

He is doing this because it benefits him to do so.

If it is so he has his precious things around him, he may tolerate them being moved close to, but not in, the bed. More likely, he is creating a nest where he is cocooned so he feels safe and comforted, in the same way as being swaddled or cuddled is calming.

If you want to be rid of the toys, you need to replace them with something that fulfils the same purpose, e.g. tucked in bed clothes, a weighted blanket, a rolled up duvet beside him, depending on whether the toys are on top of him, or beside him.

PenfoldPenny · 19/03/2021 12:31

Id leave him be if hes happy.

BikeRunSki · 19/03/2021 12:41

DS used to take a carrot to bed. A real one. I used to change in every few days. He is an enormous 12 year old now, and still squashes up against the wall to fit all the toys and books in.

BigPyjamas · 19/03/2021 12:45

My 7yr old had so much stuff on/in her bed: books, toys, cuddly toys, extra pillows, baby blankets.

She says it makes her feel safe. Can't really argue with that.

My youngest likes to take sticks to bed, and once kept a log on her bedside table. Weird. We removed it one night when we were short of firewood Grin

PattyPan · 19/03/2021 13:03

Yabu, I don’t see how it’s causing a problem. Leave the bed and the stuff as-is until the child outgrows the bed and get a bigger one at that point.

lookingsusbro · 19/03/2021 13:51

My eldest and youngest dcs are like this and have been since they were toddlers, at least half their beds are filled with blankets, toys, books, pencil case, cushions and god knows what else. It used to drive me nuts seeing their bed full of stuff and I kept putting it all away but by bedtime it'd all be back in the bed so I've now given up and leave them to it as long as they can still sleep at night.

My policy now is that as long as there's no food, nothing breakable, nothing dangerous (scarves, bags with straps, anything sharp etc) and nothing potentially messy (slime or playdoh) then I leave them to it as it makes them happy. At the end of the day it's their bed not mine.

In your place I'd leave your dc to it as long as they're sleeping okay and get them a single bed when they've outgrown their current one. If you get them a bigger bed to accommodate the extra stuff they want in their bed you'll end up having to buy them a king-size bed in no time as they will likely fill any extra space with more things.

Original poster
usernamqwertyu · 19/03/2021 19:03

Thanks folks!

Sorry, I wasn't clear enough - when I said "limit the set of stuff the child has in bed to what fits in bed", I didn't mean take anything away. As many of you have said, there isn't a problem yet! I'm taking about what to do if the stuff outgrows the bed before the child does, where my thinking is "one in, one out" 😁

OP posts:
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