Items in child's bed

[usernamqwertyu]

Our 4-year-old keeps accumulating items they like to have with them in bed. Currently have a towel, a blanket, a flannel, a sleeping bag, eight cuddly toys and about a dozen books (in addition to actual bedding, naturally). No massive attachment to any of it, just a preference to have it all. The child fits easily into their current bed by themselves, but it gets rather cramped with all this additional stuff. Since the set keeps growing, one parent wants to give the child a full-size single bed in order to accommodate more stuff. I think we should do some parenting and limit the set of stuff the child has in bed to what fits in bed. Apparently I'm being very unreasonable. Am I?

It's cosy to have things in bed! Whenever I have to sleep in a bed by myself, I put stuff on the other side of the bed. Don't get a bigger bed, they will need more stuff to fill it!

My son (7) likes to be really cramped into his bed too. A million teddies in there etc. Likes to sleep in a “den”‘under his cabin bed, so much so I’ve put the mattress in there.

I think there’s something comforting about this to some children.

Disclaimer - Ds is being assessed for various issues including sensory.

But I also think 4 is a good age to come out of a toddler bed as they’ll surely outgrow it soon?

My son always has loads of stuff in his bed. He used to line trains up along it and then sleep in the corner lol. He's had a single bed since he was 2 as his cotbed broke when we moved house.
He's 7 now and it's mostly full of stuffed toys, with a few other toys for good measure.
What's the harm? I just shove them all to the side so there's room for him lol

Yes, the stuff will just expand but you'll need a single bed at some point anyway so if it fits in the room do it.

As a child I used to hate having my stuff moved.
One good thing about being a single adult. No one around to moan about the stuff on the bed

My son is autistic too, not sure how relevant that is though

Is the child's sleep being disrupted by the extra stuff?
If no then why do anything at all?
If yes then I'd go with the bigger bed which you can then use as an opportunity to remove the bits and bobs and start again.

DS1 slept with about fifteen Lego books under his head for a good five years. I thought it would be uncomfortable but he slept so he obviously wasn't.
DS3 has over a hundred cuddly toys on his bed, he has a double but squishes into a gap the size of a toddler bed, but again he sleeps well so why change anything.

Well at some point soon you’ll need a bigger bed anyway as your child gets longer and heavier, so will need a more supportive mattress. It’s not terribly unreasonable to think now’s a good time.

Equally it’s a bit odd to think that ‘good parenting’ equals taking away comfort objects. If they sleep well with them, and it’s nothing actually dangerous or unpleasant (sharp stuff, food, whatever) then just leave them be. It might be a bit annoying to change the sheets, but that’s all.

Whichever parent doesn’t like the stuff would be utterly horrified by my 10 year old’s bed!

I wouldn't change the bed.

I wouldn't limit the stuff (apart from obv anything dangerous like ropes/plastic bags!)

This isn't an issue, I wouldn't worry about it. Buy a bigger bed when they are too big for the toddler bed or it's too babyish. Or it's needed for a younger sibling.

DD (3) has an array of animals but this changes regularly, can hear her chatting away to them. Sometimes books get in too. Precious Things go under her pillow. Never occurred to me to do anything about it

The point you need to worry is when:

he's taking a set of kitchen knives to bed with Jim

@Monr0e

My DS used to sleep with 3 toy cars and a potato under his pillow.

DD would end up on the floor some nights to give a her teddies room in her bed.

If he is sleeping well and he's not taking a set of kitchen knives to bed with Jim, I'd leave him to it. They do grow out of it, far too quickly unfortunately.

Love this.

All of mine went straight from a cot to a full size single as I couldn't see the point in buying a toddler bed. But they still fill them full of crap. I once found DS half in, half out of bed due to the huge toys in bed with him. He slept fine and was happy.

Your 'parenting' is to take away the child's things.

Your partner's 'parenting' is to provide a better space to keep those things in (and accommodate your growing child.)

This.

A 4 yr old is likely to need a standard single bed soon enough anyway (I never saw the point of toddler beds). However, even if they are cramped for a bit, why would you want to remove comfort items?

One of mine has autism and he has so much stuff that he wants (needs) in his bed. We have made a toy hammock (basically an old sheet) attached to the wall next so his bed so they are still with him but not in the way.

My ds used to do this!! He’d pack the bed with soft toys AND tuck himself in really tight!
In the summer, he’d get so hot, he’d wake up yelling and soaked in sweat, so I’d tidy him and the bed up, settle him down etc, only to peep in when I went to bed, to see him ‘sardined’ again🙄 He also like to wear full pjs in warm weather, and used to put extra clothes on if he felt that I’d ‘under-dressed’ him in the summer!
They do eventually grow out of it, op it’s just a phase they seem to have.
I guess we all have our funny little ways!
My German Shepherd dog like to sleep jammed up against me so...🤷‍♀️

Any reason you still use a toddler bed? (No judgement, just never known it beyond nursery age... Mine had full singles at two.)

But perfectly normal for kids to sleep with lots of stuff. Mine has a shelf next to her bed for the purpose (top bunk).

I once retrieved 50 books when changing covers from DD1s bed at 4yo!

Why set yourselves up for a fight? If they want to fill their bed with stuff, who does it hurt?

Lego, books, other random stuff..not just his bed, I often get into my bed to find a wooden spoon or egg whisk ..he's 8.

Around My DD was in a toddler bed until 6.5.

• she was small so didn't need a bigger bed
• room not very big so a smaller bed fitted better
• we knew we wanted to move to a mid/high sleeper so wanted her to be competent with the climbing
• toddler bed sheets and bedding take up less room in the washing machine

Think yourself lucky, when my daughter was 8 she decided to hide a bag of meat scraps the NDN had given her for the dog under her pillow. The first I knew of this was when there was an awful smell coming from her bedroom so I decided to investigate. Upon lifting her pillow I found a bag of writhing maggots!!!! She'd been happily sleeping on her pillow, not noticing the smell and totally forgetting she'd put the bag there. I'd like to say it taught her a lesson but at nearly 15 her bedroom is still disgusting unfortunately

@Monr0e

My DS used to sleep with 3 toy cars and a potato under his pillow.

DD would end up on the floor some nights to give a her teddies room in her bed.

If he is sleeping well and he's not taking a set of kitchen knives to bed with Jim, I'd leave him to it. They do grow out of it, far too quickly unfortunately.

The mention of a potato makes me feel better. DS used to have a mushroom or two, about 12 cuddly toys, and a couple of hard plastic ones. And a real cat if we didn't notice and remove her.

Do they have a beside table?

Sounds like my 4 year old. He has his "treasure" in his bed.
Currently a yellow colouring pencil, noddy book, 15 teddies, a blanket, cushion, torch, Spider-Man sticker, his car seat instructions and a map of CBeebies land!

My 10 year old is like this

I'm.frequently amazed at the amount if stuff that has to come.off the bed every time we change the sheets I'm.surprised there's room for her