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Original poster

Neighbour won't half in for fence

476 replies

thunderandbangs · 18/03/2021 20:36

I spoke to my neighbour over the back from me about a year ago to see if she'd be willing to half in for the back fence (fence at back of her garden, fence at back of ours) and she said yes that would be fine and to give her a quote when we had it.

Then Covid happened so we have just gotten round to it. I went over to give her quote (150 each) the other night. She then said that actually the fence at the back was our priority to fix and pay for as the posts are on her side of the garden! Confused

I said I don't think that's how it works and she said that the two fences at the left and right of her garden were her responsibility as the posts were in the neighbours garden therefore she gets the 'pretty' side of the fence meaning it's her responsibility. But as the fence at the back of the garden posts are in her garden and we get the 'pretty' side of the fence it is our responsibility.

She said she can't just go around halfing in for the upkeep of other peoples things and when the time comes she won't ask her neighbours to on either side either.

AIBU to think this is absolutely bonkers? Trying to find out if there's anything I can do to ensure she pays half as that is not how it works. She has a responsibility as well as we do.

OP posts:
WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 19/03/2021 13:29

Just forget the fence, it's not your problem, leave them to it.

When they come round with a begging bowl for the fence, tell them it's their fence.

Has the neighbour remotely expressed any desire to repair/replace the fence? Does the neighbour consider it in any way to be a 'problem'?

Suppose your neighbour had a trusty old, battered car on their drive and you thought that they 'should' replace it with a newer, better, prettier one. Any 'problem' would be 100% yours as they would be entirely at liberty to keep it, replace it with a new one, swap it for a van, get rid of it and have no vehicle at all - it's the exact same principle with this fence.

I know there was a lot more to it when you dug deeper, but the mindset of this OP reminds me of the other thread (on the surface, anyway), where the OP and her DH were financially comfortable but genuinely preferred a simpler life without all the latest expensive luxuries, high-end holidays and such - and their 'friends' just couldn't understand that it had nothing to do with them and that other people might choose to live their lives with different priorities from theirs, and kept trying to 'help' them to buy all the dear stuff that they believed they needed.

GoryGilmore · 19/03/2021 13:30

No. YOU are the embarrassing one. She does not have to replace the fence just because you have decided it needs doing. The only reason she would is if it is dangerous or damaging your property which you havent mentioned. Leave her alone and stop badgering her. You are making an absolute nuisance of yourself. You don't know how covid has affected her finances or what her circumstances are. You have no right to do what you are doing. Have you always been a spoilt madam who bullies others when you dont get your own way or is it just this time? Your poor neighbour has so far been very restrained but she may not be for much longer.

Absolutely this. You’re coming across as massively entitled OP. Our property had a ramshackle old fence at the end of the garden when we moved in, it wasn’t our responsibility on the deeds, but as it was a bit of an eyesore and WE wanted it to be done, we just popped round to speak to the neighbour, said we were happy to replace the fence and do the work, as long as they were happy to give us permission to take down the old one. We didn’t ask for money because we didn’t know their circumstances and they clearly either couldn’t afford or weren’t bothered enough to do something about it themselves. I also got the impression that they didn’t have much spare money when I saw them about. Anyway, they were very grateful, bought us some wine and chocolates for our efforts and we now have friendly chats when we see them. Worth every penny in my opinion.

LolaSmiles · 19/03/2021 13:30

Lacucuracha
People disagreeing with the OP's repeated bugging of her neighbour, who she delightfully described as 'the girl' is not a pile on.

If my neighbour came round one night badgering me about something, then was knocking on my door the morning before work then that's taking the mick. If she then decided that me not being around for a fence discussion before work means she can come round again waving papers at me with a silly little victory face on then I'd be telling her where to go.

OP's attitude is awful and I think people have quite rightly identified the type of neighbour she is being.

KurtWilde · 19/03/2021 13:33

@Creamcrackersandricecakes

Nothing whatsoever you can do, OP. The fence on 'our' side of our rented property has been falling down for over a year now and despite repeated requests, our LL won't repair it. There's nothing we can do. Our neighbours are furious, (with the LL, not us fortunately).
I'm in the same position re my LL and fences.
AndAPartridgeInABearTree · 19/03/2021 13:37

[quote Lockdownlumpy]@andapartridgeInABearTree how do you get the deeds for £3? Seems to be £20 when I look. I need some for similar reasons to the op.[/quote]
You might have stumbled upon an advert site rather than direct. Direct it's £3 and via and advert you get the same thing for 7 x more!

This is the direct link

eservices.landregistry.gov.uk/eservices/FindAProperty/view/QuickEnquiryInit.do?_ga=2.145261239.2089539663.1616160976-968704975.1585087942

You can see the fees here:

www.gov.uk/search-property-information-land-registry

Kitkat151 · 19/03/2021 13:46

She doesn’t have to replace the fence....you can’t make her....deeds or no deeds

MaMaD1990 · 19/03/2021 13:48

Oh Lordy, I really wouldn't go over there again...she doesn't have to put anything up and she very well may not if you're going about things like this. Is all this faffing around harrassing neighbours really worth an additional £150?

Floralnomad · 19/03/2021 13:51

@Kitkat151

She doesn’t have to replace the fence....you can’t make her....deeds or no deeds
This exactly , if she wants a falling down fence or even no fence that is up to her deeds or no deeds , if you want a fence then you buy it and put it on your side . The only person who should be embarrassed here is you @thunderandbangs if you go round and harass this woman again .
Handsnotwands · 19/03/2021 14:00

The attractive side has everything to do with the placement of the posts, needing to be on the land of the person who is putting it up thus:

if you are putting the good side on your side you are essentially giving your neighbour the use of a few inches of your garden between the posts thus;

but the most important thing who is responsible for the boundary has nothing whatsoever to do with fences, you can't make anyone put a fence up on their boundary - if you want one you'll have to put it on your side

Neighbour won't half in for fence
greenfrogs1 · 19/03/2021 14:02

OP probably hasn't replied because now she feels really embarrassed ....

AdobeWanKenobi · 19/03/2021 14:04

@Handsnotwands

The attractive side has everything to do with the placement of the posts, needing to be on the land of the person who is putting it up thus:

if you are putting the good side on your side you are essentially giving your neighbour the use of a few inches of your garden between the posts thus;

but the most important thing who is responsible for the boundary has nothing whatsoever to do with fences, you can't make anyone put a fence up on their boundary - if you want one you'll have to put it on your side

Which works until you find a fence where the panels are between the posts which straddle the boundary. All of my fences are like that.
Hoppinggreen · 19/03/2021 14:06

@greenfrogs1

OP probably hasn't replied because now she feels really embarrassed ....
Or she’s round there dealing with “the girl”
Lacucuracha · 19/03/2021 14:07

@LolaSmiles

Lacucuracha People disagreeing with the OP's repeated bugging of her neighbour, who she delightfully described as 'the girl' is not a pile on.

If my neighbour came round one night badgering me about something, then was knocking on my door the morning before work then that's taking the mick. If she then decided that me not being around for a fence discussion before work means she can come round again waving papers at me with a silly little victory face on then I'd be telling her where to go.

OP's attitude is awful and I think people have quite rightly identified the type of neighbour she is being.

It is definitely a pile on, people rubbing their hands with glee at being able to bully someone with impunity.

I'm sure OP gets it now, leave off FFS.

mam0918 · 19/03/2021 14:11

Way I see it is if you want your fence fixing its your issue not hers.

When we lived with shared gardens like that there where 2 fences back to back, we all kept up 'our' fence on our side and the neighbor kept theres - originally we just had waist high wire fences but after a few years the neighbor wanted 6ft wood fences for privacy and we didnt care so thats what they got on their property and they paid for it.

mam0918 · 19/03/2021 14:12

@mam0918

Way I see it is if you want your fence fixing its your issue not hers.

When we lived with shared gardens like that there where 2 fences back to back, we all kept up 'our' fence on our side and the neighbor kept theres - originally we just had waist high wire fences but after a few years the neighbor wanted 6ft wood fences for privacy and we didnt care so thats what they got on their property and they paid for it.

  • shared garden boundries that was meant to say
BusyLizzie61 · 19/03/2021 14:12

@thunderandbangs

Well, we have the deeds. How embarrassing for her, she owns the fence Blush. She didn't answer this morning but will be straight over once she's back from work.
Even with this. She's not obligated to replace the fence if she doesn't want to. I'm which case your only options would be to replace at your cost or put posts and fence on to your land. After all you have an issue with the fallen fence, she obviously doesn't.
WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 19/03/2021 14:12

Which works until you find a fence where the panels are between the posts which straddle the boundary.
All of my fences are like that.

Quite. As are almost all fences you see IRL.

LittleDoritt · 19/03/2021 14:14

OP is patently not taking on board anyone's comments at all Grin

LolaSmiles · 19/03/2021 14:15

You seem to be missing that the OP came back full of glee at thought of going round to badger her poor neighbour, and then when the deeds came back she was full of smug superiority about how she's now going to go 'straight round' later to further bug her neighbour. All this after lots of posts pointed out that regardless who is responsible for the boundary, she can't bully her neighbours into changing the fence.

Unfortunately people take a bit of a dim view when someone starts talking about going round to their neighbours before work to continue pushing an issue, and they also take an issue of someone (in this case) speaking down about someone as "that girl".

Most people have either had a PITA neighbour, or know someone who has. It's hardly surprising people don't like it when a neighbour thinks they can harass someone else into dancing to their tune.

VettiyaIruken · 19/03/2021 14:17

@greenfrogs1

OP probably hasn't replied because now she feels really embarrassed ....
Nah. Regardless how it actually goes, she'll likely claim neighbour apologised and will replace the fence at once and she won and ner ner to us. 😁
Lacucuracha · 19/03/2021 14:19

@LolaSmiles

We don't know OP was going to badger her. Perhaps she wanted to say that the fence is the neighbour's but she's still willing to go halves if neighbour wants to replace it.

Then neighbour may say 'I don't want to replace the fence, if you want to build a new fence, crack on' (which she's perfectly entitled to say). And there the conversation ends and they never have to speak about it again.

I would give OP the benefit of the doubt here. Perhaps she's made a mistake but we all do.

Handsnotwands · 19/03/2021 14:23

Which works until you find a fence where the panels are between the posts which straddle the boundary.
All of my fences are like that.

Indeed, as are mine, but if you wish to put posts in that don't already exist, you need the agreement of the neighbour if they are to straddle the boundary - otherwise they need to be wholly on your land

Neighbour won't half in for fence
LolaSmiles · 19/03/2021 14:27

We don't know OP was going to badger her
Except when she goes round tonight, full of her 'oh dear it's so embarrassing for her that the deeds say it's her fence' it will be the 3rd time she's gone round recently, the last one being this morning before work.

That sounds an awful lot like badgering to me, and many others.

The neighbour doesn't need to give OP permission to build a fence on her own land. The neighbour is responsible for the boundary. If the OP wants a new fence she can crack on with that herself and leave the original one.

This is all because the OP wants the neighbour to fund a fence that she wants to replace.

YoniAndGuy · 19/03/2021 14:28

It's the other way around though?! The posts are in the owner's garden. And yes, that does mean that the non-owners get the 'pretty side' and I've read several threads bemoaning that injustice over the years.

Lacucuracha · 19/03/2021 14:31

@LolaSmiles

What OP says on an anonymous forum is different to what she says to her neighbour. Why would you assume she would say 'oh dear it's so embarrassing for her that the deeds say it's her fence''?!

You're really reaching now. No one has said neighbour needs to give OP permission. You've basically repeated what I said that from neighbour's perspective, OP can crack on and build her fence Confused

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