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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Neighbour won't half in for fence

476 replies

thunderandbangs · 18/03/2021 20:36

I spoke to my neighbour over the back from me about a year ago to see if she'd be willing to half in for the back fence (fence at back of her garden, fence at back of ours) and she said yes that would be fine and to give her a quote when we had it.

Then Covid happened so we have just gotten round to it. I went over to give her quote (150 each) the other night. She then said that actually the fence at the back was our priority to fix and pay for as the posts are on her side of the garden!

I said I don't think that's how it works and she said that the two fences at the left and right of her garden were her responsibility as the posts were in the neighbours garden therefore she gets the 'pretty' side of the fence meaning it's her responsibility. But as the fence at the back of the garden posts are in her garden and we get the 'pretty' side of the fence it is our responsibility.

She said she can't just go around halfing in for the upkeep of other peoples things and when the time comes she won't ask her neighbours to on either side either.

AIBU to think this is absolutely bonkers? Trying to find out if there's anything I can do to ensure she pays half as that is not how it works. She has a responsibility as well as we do.

OP posts:

SquirtleSquad · 19/03/2021 12:45

The only person who should be embarrassed is you OP.

luxxlisbon · 19/03/2021 12:47

[quote Lacucuracha]@Alsohuman

Two conversations 1 year apart constitutes harassment?[/quote]
OP has already gone over twice in 2 days and plans to go over again this evening.

Lacucuracha · 19/03/2021 12:48

I didn’t say harassment. That was someone else.

Two conversations 1 year apart constitutes hassling?

Lacucuracha · 19/03/2021 12:50

OP has already gone over twice in 2 days and plans to go over again this evening.

Where has she said that? She says she went round the other night. That's once after 1 year.

Alwaysandforeverhere · 19/03/2021 12:51

I hope she tells you to leave her fence alone then op. If you want a nicer one put your own up in your garden.

luxxlisbon · 19/03/2021 12:52

@Lacucuracha

OP has already gone over twice in 2 days and plans to go over again this evening.

Where has she said that? She says she went round the other night. That's once after 1 year.

The other night, today before work and plans for this evening as soon as the "girl" returns from work. OP said it herself.

MrsIsobelCrawley · 19/03/2021 12:53

@thunderandbangs

Well, we have the deeds. How embarrassing for her, she owns the fence

. She didn't answer this morning but will be straight over once she's back from work.

Please stop harassing your neighbour, OP.

You are the person who needs to be embarrassed as you are coming across as a little bit unhinged.

isthismylifenow · 19/03/2021 12:53

Are you that neighbour that someone else posted about a few days ago, that knocked on her door at 8.30am......

Leave a note with your number on and ask her to call you when she can, to discuss it.

thevassal · 19/03/2021 12:55

Everyone always says your deeds will show who owns the fence, but this isn't always the case. In mine it just shows the property boundaries and then obviously the fences were built along these. Apparently when the houses were built 30odd years ago they were just built as plots and it was the homeowners decision if, where and how to put up any fences walls etc. Which makes sense.

So basically nobody has responsibility for the fence - if you want a fence it's your responsibility to build and maintain it.

I've just rebuilt mine when it fell down because neigbour on left couldnt care less if there is a fence or not while I am very keen not to have her many pets and kids wandering into my garden so sucked it up!

youshallnotpass9 · 19/03/2021 12:56

I have everything crossed she is on here and we are going to get the other side, because I don't think this is probably the first time you have done something like this.

RedMarauder · 19/03/2021 12:56

No. YOU are the embarrassing one. She does not have to replace the fence just because you have decided it needs doing. The only reason she would is if it is dangerous or damaging your property which you havent mentioned.

Leave her alone and stop badgering her. You are making an absolute nuisance of yourself. You don't know how covid has affected her finances or what her circumstances are. You have no right to do what you are doing. Have you always been a spoilt madam who bullies others when you dont get your own way or is it just this time?

Your poor neighbour has so far been very restrained but she may not be for much longer

This

Put your own fence up next to her fence posts AND DO NOT TOUCH HER FENCE

WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants · 19/03/2021 12:57

@thunderandbangs

Well, we have the deeds. How embarrassing for her, she owns the fence

. She didn't answer this morning but will be straight over once she's back from work.

How embarrassing for you to be acting like such a twat.

You cannot make her put up a new fence, so if you want one you'll now not only have to pay for it, but you'll have to ask her permission or get posts put in your garden & pay for posts & panels

Egg on face.

Nanny0gg · 19/03/2021 12:58

@thunderandbangs

Well, we have the deeds. How embarrassing for her, she owns the fence

. She didn't answer this morning but will be straight over once she's back from work.

Not embarrassing.

Have you read any answers? You can't touch that fence without her permission and if she feels so inclined, she can leave it to rot.

Lacucuracha · 19/03/2021 13:01

@luxxlisbon

The other night, today before work and plans for this evening as soon as the "girl" returns from work. OP said it herself.

They haven't spoken today at all. So it's still only one conversation a year ago and one conversation the other night.

This does not constitute hassling / harassment.

Anyway, OP, sorry you're getting a pile on. Just forget the fence, it's not your problem, leave them to it.

When they come round with a begging bowl for the fence, tell them it's their fence.

BeigeFoodLover · 19/03/2021 13:03

@youshallnotpass9 I was just thinking the same!

SummaLuvin · 19/03/2021 13:04

@thunderandbangs I really hope you don't go round with the intention of embarrassing her. Covid-19 has changed a lot of peoples financial situation and you can't presume you know what hers is (even if she has a fancy car and good job, how do you know she isn't supporting family or friends who have been less fortunate). Replacing a fence may not be affordable or the priority for her right now.

Mylittlesandwich · 19/03/2021 13:11

She may own the fence but you're the one who wanted a new one. If you want the new fence and she doesn't care then you'll have to pay for it. Our neighbors have been putting new fences up all over the place. It hasn't occurred to me to pay for them because there was nothing wrong with the old ones.

Chocolateandamaretto · 19/03/2021 13:13

If it's her fence you can't make her replace it?? You can pay to put up a new fence which is as close as you can get to hers but all you've proved now is that you can't touch it because it's her property!

So embarrassed for you OP....

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 19/03/2021 13:15

She has no legal duty to do anything with the fence. Just because you dont like it.
Its not causing damage to your property.
Id watch the way you are treading OP as its bordering on harrassment and why needlessly make enemies?
And seeing as its her fence she might put up a lovely floral arrangement on it spelling fuck off

Desmondo2021 · 19/03/2021 13:16

Unfortunately that means that you don't really have any say in whether she repairs it or takes it down or replaces it with a pink one!

Orcadianrythyms · 19/03/2021 13:16

The only embarrassment @thunderandbangs is you. I'm sure you're nicer in real life than you come across in your post but you haven't won this argument as you can't improve her fence People on here are nuts at times!

bigbluebus · 19/03/2021 13:16

I'd say which side the fence posts are us irrelevant. Our previous ndn tried this one on us to get us to pay to repair of HIS fence. He had plenty of money and multiple properties because he never spent any money! It is quite clearly marked on our deeds as not being our boundary and I'm pretty sure it showed as his boundary on his deeds in line with the convention for our street. The reason the fence posts are in his garden and we've got the nice side is because we are the original occupants of this property and next door wasn't built when we moved in. We asked the lads doing the fencing to put the posts on their side - and they did! Doesn't make it our fence.

EllaPaella · 19/03/2021 13:19

You really can't make her do anything about the fence so it's not going to be very embarrassing for her at all. She's under no obligation to pay for a job she doesn't want done.

notapizzaeater · 19/03/2021 13:20

It's her fence so she can leave it rotting and unless it's damaging you or your property there's nothing you can do. I'd build a new fence on my side

Creamcrackersandricecakes · 19/03/2021 13:29

Nothing whatsoever you can do, OP. The fence on 'our' side of our rented property has been falling down for over a year now and despite repeated requests, our LL won't repair it. There's nothing we can do. Our neighbours are furious, (with the LL, not us fortunately).

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