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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Neighbour won't half in for fence

476 replies

thunderandbangs · 18/03/2021 20:36

I spoke to my neighbour over the back from me about a year ago to see if she'd be willing to half in for the back fence (fence at back of her garden, fence at back of ours) and she said yes that would be fine and to give her a quote when we had it.

Then Covid happened so we have just gotten round to it. I went over to give her quote (150 each) the other night. She then said that actually the fence at the back was our priority to fix and pay for as the posts are on her side of the garden!

I said I don't think that's how it works and she said that the two fences at the left and right of her garden were her responsibility as the posts were in the neighbours garden therefore she gets the 'pretty' side of the fence meaning it's her responsibility. But as the fence at the back of the garden posts are in her garden and we get the 'pretty' side of the fence it is our responsibility.

She said she can't just go around halfing in for the upkeep of other peoples things and when the time comes she won't ask her neighbours to on either side either.

AIBU to think this is absolutely bonkers? Trying to find out if there's anything I can do to ensure she pays half as that is not how it works. She has a responsibility as well as we do.

OP posts:

Nith · 19/03/2021 12:11

@thunderandbangs

Well, we have the deeds. How embarrassing for her, she owns the fence

. She didn't answer this morning but will be straight over once she's back from work.

So will you be offering half the cost of replacing it?

crochetlove · 19/03/2021 12:14

Why is it embarrassing @thu

canigooutyet · 19/03/2021 12:14

Are you going round to let her know that you are willing to go half with her? And once she has arranged something to bill you? She might jump at the chance to get all the fences matching without all the cost.

Cheeseandlobster · 19/03/2021 12:16

@thunderandbangs

Well, we have the deeds. How embarrassing for her, she owns the fence

. She didn't answer this morning but will be straight over once she's back from work.

No. YOU are the embarrassing one. She does not have to replace the fence just because you have decided it needs doing. The only reason she would is if it is dangerous or damaging your property which you havent mentioned.

Leave her alone and stop badgering her. You are making an absolute nuisance of yourself. You don't know how covid has affected her finances or what her circumstances are. You have no right to do what you are doing. Have you always been a spoilt madam who bullies others when you dont get your own way or is it just this time?

Your poor neighbour has so far been very restrained but she may not be for much longer

FTEngineerM · 19/03/2021 12:17

@thunderandbangs you can’t make someone buy a particular fence, not even like for like.

Put your own fence up and spend this time you’re pursuing your neighbour doing something more fun.

luxxlisbon · 19/03/2021 12:20

OP you need to stop harassing this woman now. You've gone over to convince her to your way of thinking multiple times now.

She doesn't want to replace the fence, accept it and move on.

If you want a new fence put it in front of hers and in your own garden.

sotiredofthislonelylife · 19/03/2021 12:20

@Rollmopsrule

It's actually the other way round. The presumption is the owner of the fence has the posts on their side. Presumptions can be challenged but that's how it usually works as the maintenance would usually be on the post side.

There is absolutely incorrect! Maybe years ago it was ‘the practice’ to show your neighbour the ‘nice’ side of a fence you own, but it means nothing! Your deeds show whose fence it is, and you can install it in whichever way you like.

isitjustlockdown · 19/03/2021 12:23

@thunderandbangs

Well, we have the deeds. How embarrassing for her, she owns the fence

. She didn't answer this morning but will be straight over once she's back from work.

You cannot force her to replace the fence if she doesn't want to.

I am not sure what there is for her to be embarrassed about. I'm glad I don't have to share a boundary with you, you sound hard work.

However I take it if she does decide to replace you will pay half, as that is what you planned anyway?

Shodan · 19/03/2021 12:24

Oh dear.

Poor you, OP. Your only option now is to foot the bill for a new fence inside your own property line, if you still want it.

Your neighbour could put up anything - barbed wire, chicken wire- even, I guess, some string or rope. Or those temporary wire fences you see on building sites.

burritofan · 19/03/2021 12:25

I own both fences on either side of my garden; we’ve got the “nice” side on one side and the “ugly” side on the other, just to set the cat among the pigeons if I ever need to start a MN bunfight.

(It’s feather-edged and one neighbour could provide access to the fence man to do the feather-edge boards and the other side they had to be done from my garden. Couldn’t give a hoot tbh and personally I prefer the posts showing for the aesthetic value; less prisony. Also once you cover it in jasmine who cares?)

OP, what about planting a hedge?

MaliceOrgan · 19/03/2021 12:27

It isn't embarrassing for her OP, but you should be embarrassed about hounding her.

You can't make the poor 'girl' do anything though, regardless of who owns what.

lockdownalli · 19/03/2021 12:30

In which case she can just say she doesn't want to replace her fence and you will have to live with it.

VinterKvinna · 19/03/2021 12:31

@thunderandbangs

Well, we have the deeds. How embarrassing for her, she owns the fence

. She didn't answer this morning but will be straight over once she's back from work.

You know she doesnt have to replace it?

MagentaRocks · 19/03/2021 12:31

If she owns the fence then she doesn’t have to repair or replace. You can’t make her do it.

JamieFraserskneewarmer · 19/03/2021 12:34

To everyone saying that there are T marks on the Land Registry entries, there may be but for some areas that is hardly ever the case. As mentioned upthread, there is no requirements to put up a fence at all unless there is a specific covenant

Lacucuracha · 19/03/2021 12:36

Don't do the work OP, it's not your responsibility and she won't pay you a penny for it.

Alsohuman · 19/03/2021 12:36

@thunderandbangs

Well, we have the deeds. How embarrassing for her, she owns the fence

. She didn't answer this morning but will be straight over once she's back from work.

I think the shoe’s on the other foot as far as embarrassment is concerned. Leave her and her fence alone.

Lacucuracha · 19/03/2021 12:37

@Alsohuman why should OP be embarrassed?

Alsohuman · 19/03/2021 12:41

[quote Lacucuracha]@Alsohuman why should OP be embarrassed?[/quote]
Because she’s been merrily hassling her neighbour about something that’s none of her business.

BluebellsGreenbells · 19/03/2021 12:43

OP should be embarrassed as she is harassing a new out because she wants a new fence. It’s not even hers to replace.

I think OP needs to put her own fence up and pay for it!

Lacucuracha · 19/03/2021 12:43

@Alsohuman

Two conversations 1 year apart constitutes harassment?

NerrSnerr · 19/03/2021 12:43

@thunderandbangs

Well, we have the deeds. How embarrassing for her, she owns the fence

. She didn't answer this morning but will be straight over once she's back from work.

Will you be offering to pay for half then OP?

She doesn't have to do anything and doesn't have anything to be embarrassed about. It's you who should be embarrassed for not checking all this before and trying to force her to pay for half of something she doesn't have to do.

Lacucuracha · 19/03/2021 12:45

I would agree that OP should leave it now.

But OP shouldn't have to put up the fence either. Let the neighbour crack on if she wants to.

sphn · 19/03/2021 12:45

@thunderandbangs

Well, we have the deeds. How embarrassing for her, she owns the fence

. She didn't answer this morning but will be straight over once she's back from work.

Maybe not that helpful though... as she may just say she doesn't want to/can't afford to replace it, but you're welcome to erect a new fence next to it on your land.

Alsohuman · 19/03/2021 12:45

[quote Lacucuracha]@Alsohuman

Two conversations 1 year apart constitutes harassment?[/quote]
I didn’t say harassment. That was someone else.

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