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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Neighbour won't half in for fence

476 replies

thunderandbangs · 18/03/2021 20:36

I spoke to my neighbour over the back from me about a year ago to see if she'd be willing to half in for the back fence (fence at back of her garden, fence at back of ours) and she said yes that would be fine and to give her a quote when we had it.

Then Covid happened so we have just gotten round to it. I went over to give her quote (150 each) the other night. She then said that actually the fence at the back was our priority to fix and pay for as the posts are on her side of the garden! Confused

I said I don't think that's how it works and she said that the two fences at the left and right of her garden were her responsibility as the posts were in the neighbours garden therefore she gets the 'pretty' side of the fence meaning it's her responsibility. But as the fence at the back of the garden posts are in her garden and we get the 'pretty' side of the fence it is our responsibility.

She said she can't just go around halfing in for the upkeep of other peoples things and when the time comes she won't ask her neighbours to on either side either.

AIBU to think this is absolutely bonkers? Trying to find out if there's anything I can do to ensure she pays half as that is not how it works. She has a responsibility as well as we do.

OP posts:
LolaSmiles · 19/03/2021 10:44

It might be Smile

Although I am hoping for an update about how the OP has been round to her neighbour to persuade 'the girl'. I know how I'd have responded if a neighbour did that to me before work after we've already spoken about it.

Saltyslug · 19/03/2021 10:49

That is usually correct unless the previous owners gave themselves the pretty side

SylHellais · 19/03/2021 10:55

I’m just amazed at the number of words the OP keeps missing out of her sentences.

Hatethepatriarchy · 19/03/2021 10:55

I don’t think you can just assume someone will front £150.

GabsAlot · 19/03/2021 10:57

thanks for that link @saraclara very useful

Whoopsies · 19/03/2021 10:59

Agreed, it's up to you if you want the fence replaced. The boundary at the back of our garden is not ours to maintain, the neighbours at the back have a row of trees there, so we put a fence up just inside our garden, totally our choice and ours to pay for. Didn't even think to ask them.

RedMarauder · 19/03/2021 11:04

@Whoopsies stop being so sensible. Wink

acatcalledjohn · 19/03/2021 11:06

We are responsible for the right and rear fences. The neighbour on the left won't fix his rotting fences (because he chooses to believe the previous owner's word over the solicitor's findings), so we put our own fence in our side of the boundary.

We can't make the neighbour sort his fence or sort it for him and make him pay. Nor can you.

Nith · 19/03/2021 11:38

@thunderandbangs

I'll get deeds, think hubby knows where they are but he's nightshirt tonight. I will go over tomorrow morning before work and give it once last shot trying to convince the girl.
Why go over to try to convince her before you've checked whether you're right or not?

Anyone else got a mental picture of OP's DH in a nightshirt (and nightcap) proclaiming that he can't possibly look for the deeds till he's got the nightshirt off?

Etulosba · 19/03/2021 11:46

This whole who owns what, inside out side, nonsense has actually worked in my favour.

The neighbour at the end of my garden raised the issue the fence needing repair after a storm, assuming it was mine based on which side the posts are on. It isn't mine because I was here when her predecessor paid a contractor to put the fence up.

I want to replace the fence with a wall and I've gained a massive extra six inches of land to put it on.

Etulosba · 19/03/2021 11:47

outside

Original poster
thunderandbangs · 19/03/2021 11:55

Well, we have the deeds. How embarrassing for her, she owns the fence Blush. She didn't answer this morning but will be straight over once she's back from work.

OP posts:
mustbefreakingmad · 19/03/2021 11:58

Excellent, I guess you will be offering to pay half, as you were expecting her to then 👍

helpfulperson · 19/03/2021 11:58

But that also means she doesnt need to replace it if she doesnt want to.

greenfrogs1 · 19/03/2021 12:00

OP you sound like the kind of neighbour I would dread to live next to.

VettiyaIruken · 19/03/2021 12:01

She still doesn't have to repair or replace it (unless there's I think it's called a covenant about it). She could leave it, remove it entirely and leave it open or replace it with a low chain link.

That she owns it is not the victory you seem to be gloating it is and doesn't mean you can demand anything.
She can say no. I wouldn't go round there waving deeds and giving orders if I were you. You'll look a fool.

Roszie · 19/03/2021 12:03

If it's hers she might decide she doesn't want to replace it. Total up to her, even if it's a rubbish fence.

LolaSmiles · 19/03/2021 12:03

Well, we have the deeds. How embarrassing for her, she owns the fence blush. She didn't answer this morning but will be straight over once she's back from work.
This isn't the gotcha you think it is OP.
She doesn't have to install a new fence to please you.
How embarrassing for you to have pushed it with her before, gone over before work this morning and still going round tomorrow to push it.

If you were my neighbour I'd be telling you where to go. If you want a nice pretty fence then put it on your own land and pay for it.

Desnol · 19/03/2021 12:03

@thunderandbangs

Well, we have the deeds. How embarrassing for her, she owns the fence Blush. She didn't answer this morning but will be straight over once she's back from work.
Do be careful here. She could ask you to put the her old fence back - it is after all her fence. I hope that when you put up the new fence, you put it an inch on your side of the boundary line.

If I were you, I'd leave well alone. She seems a bit inconsistent, first promising to put up a fence and then saying it's your fence and your responsibility. That last statement suits you just fine - that it's YOUR fence.

PanamaPattie · 19/03/2021 12:03

She has won! Nothing you can do.

Theluggage15 · 19/03/2021 12:05

Well if I was the girl (as you call her) I would say ‘fascinating, good to know, bye then’ and shut the door.

Hoppinggreen · 19/03/2021 12:06

@thunderandbangs

Well, we have the deeds. How embarrassing for her, she owns the fence Blush. She didn't answer this morning but will be straight over once she's back from work.
Bloody Hell OP Glad I don’t live next door to you. It doesn’t matter if you can prove she owns the fence she still doesn’t have to replace it if she doesn’t want to Leave her alone
ekidmxcl · 19/03/2021 12:07

If she owns it op, she may simply refuse to replace it. And you’ll have to either suffer with the shitty fence or pay the entire bill.

I’d be careful how you proceed. In you shoes I’d get her consent, preferably on a text and then pay yourself to get it replaced.

emilyfrost · 19/03/2021 12:07

@thunderandbangs

Well, we have the deeds. How embarrassing for her, she owns the fence Blush. She didn't answer this morning but will be straight over once she's back from work.
She should report you to the police for harassment.

She doesn’t have to replace the fence. She could rip it down and leave nothing there if she wanted to.

Lockheart · 19/03/2021 12:09

@thunderandbangs

Well, we have the deeds. How embarrassing for her, she owns the fence Blush. She didn't answer this morning but will be straight over once she's back from work.
So she can do what she likes and doesn't have to replace it at all?

Good grief OP just put up your own fence if it's that much of a bother.