To have given up on naps?

[redlipstickandtiredeyes]

I do feel bad about it because my baby is obviously tired but if you’ve done absolutely everything you can and they still don’t sleep what else can you do?

I do think you may be getting stuck on the phrase "put baby down". They don't necessarily mean - putting baby in a cot, you walking away, and them napping. It's "down" as in "asleep".

When people say “put them down” for a nap not everybody means literally put them down. At that age my DD had literally never had a nap that wasn’t physically on me or DH and that’s really normal, especially in the fourth trimester. There’s nothing unusual about contact napping at that age.

Are you 100% sure there isn’t reflux or allergy or some other issue going on keeping him up?

I get that but sometimes it just doesn’t happen no matter where they are. Doctor doesn’t think anything’s wrong just a grumpy baby.

I doubt there’s anything I haven’t tried.

He's 2 months. Is he your first? Has he been like it since birth?

The thing is most things don't work once or twice, often they take a week or more to see results, so if you have 'tried everything' it may be that you haven't tried them for long enough.

Lots of babies don't like movement. One thing that has generally worked for me (if you are able to spend the time) is total stillness. Mine slept on me (right to left, tummy to tummy, held fairly firmly) for 3 months or so then I would put him down once he dropped off.

Nothing to suggest that you probably haven't already tried but I feel ur pain I have 3 children that do not sleep ,have never slept well even when newborns I always thought it was because they were breastfed but they still don't sleep youngest is 1. He rarely napped only in the sling so i would pop him in there and walk for miles every day.

It's very tiring I tried the huckleberry app,wonder leap app you name it I tried it but turns out they just didn't need much sleep to function.

Op, a few of us have asked if baby cries much... it could be colic ir a milk allergy. Have you ruled that out? Changed teats to different flows if bottle feeding etc?

You’re not alone.
I know it may feel like it.

Many women before you have experienced it and many will after, @MaMaD1990 made a good point about consistency.. I know I used to get irritated when I heard that too.. but the first thing that happened when we paid a sleep consultant hundreds to help was, you guessed it. Consistency.

Parenting a newborn feels a bit relentless because it is, how much sleep does your DC get at night? How do you put them down at night?

Our first only ever slept during the day if he was on being held or in the car , I literally did nothing all day aside from sit on the sofa , feed him or drive round to see our horses , it was bliss . The second one wasn’t much better but she had to fit in a bit more with the first so less sitting on the sofa .

Well I do try everything. It’s consistent in as much as sod all works 😂 Anyway thanks - feeling a bit judged now (I’m sure not the intention but you know, sleep deprived and a bit paranoid) so I will hide the thread now. Good luck to those with non nappers.

I’d love that floral

Mine was a bad sleeper too. I spent hours and hours trying to get her to sleep and eventually I let her sleep in my arms until she was about 5 months old. It was the only way we could do it otherwise I would breastfeed to sleep for about half an hour and put her down, after 10 minutes awake again and repeat. I also had a baby bjorn that I could wear on the front and let her feed and sleep there. She wouldn't relax in the buggy u til she was 5 months old so then I took her for long walks everyday to let her sleep there. Some days she would sleep withing half an hour but there are other days I've walked 10 km before she went down.

This was me and my DD for about a year!! It was exhausting. She only slept for 23-27 minutes, maybe 3 times a day usually only once. Up every 3 hours through the night. Daytime for her was 5am through to 7pm bed. She’s almost 14 months now and as of last week she has started to take 1 2 hour nap in the afternoon - but only on me.

Things I did that sometimes worked in the initial months but never a guarantee:

Breast for comfort
Skin to skin
Bounce on a ball
Hold her in my arm facing the ground and rock
Lay her on my chest
Wear her in a wrap and walk and walk and walk the street for hours
Stand in the shower with her and cry
Sit in the bath with her
Wrapped up super warm (winter baby) and sat out in the snow together for fresh air

Finally I just accepted she’s a crap napper around 3 months and if she slept she slept and if not ... well she didn’t. I will say though that she was always alert, happy, energetic, thriving, and vocal when she was awake. Our pediatrician said that if she was lethargic, not alert, sad and crying for the majority of the time awake and/or really quiet and spaced out then we should consider a sleep coach who worked with babies under 6 months but not to sleep train at all at that age.

Oh I feel your pain. My first was like this by two months. Would not nap, anywhere.

I ended up doing stupid stuff like bouncing on a yoga ball while holding him. Hideous.

Oh and I’ve never managed to put her down during the day, even now her 2 hour nap is me and her. She’s asleep on me or we are side lying nursing. Depends how tired I am!

Trying to put her down in the initial weeks and months was awful, for everyone! So I stopped trying.

If you have a support bubble can you get someone else who has experience with babies to look after the baby for a bit? I often notice people missing the signs of tiredness in their young babies, of course I wouldn’t ever say anything but after a couple of babies you do just recognise the moment better.

My first was a bit like this, although she would sleep on me or in a moving car but only for 30 mins at a time and she was a grumpy sod for the rest of the day! She hated the buggy and would scream constantly so I gave up on that, used to be so jealous of mums that could meet for walks and coffee while baby napped. In hindsight I think she was possible overtired/overstimulated and I was far too stressed (they definitely pick up on this!). Personally I wouldn’t ‘give up’ as such though. Keep trying because eventually you may get one or two good naps a day when baby is a little older.

If it makes you feel better, I had 2 other babies since who have napped beautifully! White noise worked for 2nd. 3rd would sleep wherever I put him.

I think I know when he’s tired. Just seems to be actually getting him to sleep that’s impossible. No one to bubble with. Today an exceptionally bad day. Tomorrow might be better. Or not 😂

2 out of 3 of my dc were/are crap sleepers. One liked a Moby wrap type sling, one preferred an ergo. They only slept on me. I had to walk a lot (constantly) to get them to nap. Dc3 (age 2) is still crap at naps and wakes in the night. Still wants to sleep on me basically.

Dc2 was the dream who slept well and would be put down, so I think it's more about the child than about you.

Please don't feel judged, we all get what you're going through. Tomorrow will be a better day (is that Captain Tom?!). I hope your little boy gets the hang of his naps soon, good luck x

Dd1 was like this but also didn't sleep at night. I thought I might die. In the end a baby chiropractor sorted her out. I wouldn't have believed it till I saw it but it worked. She was still a poor sleeper but way better than she was.

Don't feel judged. We've all been there and are trying to help.

I appreciate this may sound patronising, though it's not mean that way - but start trying to get him to sleep 10/15min before you think he's tired (this is where the Huckleberry app is helpful). I was baffled to learn how short a baby's "awake window" was. If they're at the point of looking tired, they're overtired and will just be harder to get to sleep

I’d really recommend “let’s talk about your new family’s sleep” by lyndsey hookway

Your baby can likely only stay awake for an hour at a time just now so put him down for a nap an hour after he's woken (look for signs of tiredness after 45 mins though).
I'd put him in his crib that he sleeps in at night time with the curtains closed and lights off. Make sure he's not hungry and has a dry nappy on. White noise can really help.

The problem with huckleberry is like I say it’s not so much about when he should sleep as getting him there and him staying asleep. So this morning he fell asleep on me an hour and a half after getting up which is perfect but then he wakes up after seven minutes! So over the course of the day (bear in mind today’s been exceptionally dire) he’s had about an hour, made up of five naps. The longest of those was about twenty minutes. Then absolutely frantic with tiredness which obviously makes me feel really shit, but I seriously can’t do any more than I’m doing. I could feel myself getting a bit pissed off before as he was screaming and I was trying to hard to get him to sleep so posted on here trying to keep my spirits up as much as anything as I don’t want to be feeling pissed off with a 2 month old! It’s hard going though! 😩

shouldistop if I did that I’d still be waiting for him to fall asleep 3 hours later. Seriously.