To have given up on naps?

[redlipstickandtiredeyes]

I do feel bad about it because my baby is obviously tired but if you’ve done absolutely everything you can and they still don’t sleep what else can you do?

I used to go through everything. Feed, change, bounce, bum pat, dummy, skin to skin. If none of them worked I'd start again until it did, and if nothing else they'd eventually get bored and drop off.
Coronation Street is good for boring babies to sleep as well.

This is what I mean maverick, I don’t get to ‘put him down’ really.

Ah @redlipstickandtiredeyes sounds so tough. I had one good sleeper and one bad and to reassure you it’s nothing you’re doing wrong it’s just the way they are built. They will be very overtired as they need a lot more sleep as you know- my bad sleeper only had 45 minute awake time until about 4 months! It was insane. The things that really helped: swaddling. White noise. Dummy. Short awake times, song while swaddle, dummy and cot/Moses basket with white noise. Go make a cup of tea. If crying come back and gently shush and rock. Continue until asleep. It’ll get better!!

I imagine everyone replying has been through the same thing and will have useful advice, if that's what you're after. Or do you just need to vent? (Which is also okay)

But if you do want some advice to help you, would be good to share what your current normal day is like. When does baby wake up, when do you start trying to get down for a nap, what have you been trying.

You could check out little ones app..new since I had my kids but heard it's great and has lots of helpful tips! God luck...kids and sleep is tough

Coffee ive given up. I doubt there’s anything I haven’t tried.

What happens if you put your baby in their cot and go into another room? Do they cry (in which case I understand you won't want to leave them there) or do they lie there calmly without sleeping? My eldest did the latter, so if I needed to go to the loo, or eat, or put laundry on but he wouldn't nap, I could put him down in his cot for a bit. Do you get a breather even if your little one won't nap?

It depends. In the morning yes but any time after about midday no.

Second the huckleberry app. Just the free version. It really helped me to realise just how short the awake periods were.

At that age, the only way I could get her to sleep was holding her and bouncing on a yoga ball. I think the rhythmic bouncing helped. I still wasn't able to put her down, but once she was asleep I could carefully walk to the bed and relax with her asleep on me (and I already had Netflix, chocolate and water set up and waiting!).

It might be worth a try. Sending hugs.

I won't derail this thread by talking about me but I want you to know that you aren't alone. I am in the exact same boat as you and so I get it - it is awful to admit this but I dread the days as he just won't sleep at all and I can see how tired he is and I can't put him down at all without him crying.

Watching this with interest because I am desperate for help - I will be grateful for any advice and tips that I can steal from this thread!

My version of putting him down was jiggling him and holding him until he stopped fighting sleep. We still don’t do naps in the cot, but he’ll do the odd one in the bassinet of his pram.

I would walk him in the pram for hours.

Does baby cry a lot? Definiey not colic or a milk allergy?

No offence (but then again, this is AIBU so you should expect frankness) but I doubt you've tried everything - or at least not for long enough to see it's effect.

It is fucking hard. I know. Mine was a terrible sleeper. But there are things that help. I'd also recommend the Huckleberry app (free version) that was really helpful to make sure your not getting to the point of overtired.

Walk in the pram? Drive in the car?

OP I know exactly where you're coming from. I remember mine being awake for full days and no one seemed to believe me.

The only thing that worked for him, up to around 10 months old, was being pushed in the pram. If you do it enough - day after day after day- they should get bored and fall asleep? Tiring for you though. My mum used to come over and do the pushing around 1 or 2 days a week.

Then two things- he started on Omeprazole and we realised he'd had horrible reflux. Then started going to the childminder for a few hours a day aged 10 months. Began napping in his cot no problem. I suspect she sleep trained him but I've never asked as I don't want to know. (He's 3 now and sleeps through 7pm-7am every night)

I feel you, OP. We had such a tough time with DS when he was younger. It was impossible to get him to sleep. I remember calling my mum in tears one day saying she had to come to take him because I couldn't cope on such little sleep. He didn't sleep at night time either. He slept for 45-60 minutes max. It was a killer.

You have all of my sympathy, OP. I found that he fell asleep easily when driving. My grandparents live just a 5 minute drive away so I'd often drive to their house just to get him to sleep!

I appreciate the advice but I don’t think people understand at all.

Yes the huckleberry app helpfully says he should be put down to sleep at a particular time but if he won’t what do you do then?

I walked for two hours with the pram, he slept for twenty minutes.

I do worry I’ve done something wrong I honestly don’t know what though.

OP, we ALL understand. We have been through the exact same thing as you at one point or another - please trust that if nothing else. You've not done anything wrong, some babies are just terrible sleepers and it's noones fault, they will eventually come around. Have you looked into silent reflux and the like? A visit to the GP to check there's no ear infection etc keeping him up. We all would love to help you, but we do need more information, unless this is a vent post (which is obviously fine), its just not clear what you'd like from the thread.

Of course people understand, do you really think you are the only person who has a baby that doesn’t just go to sleep?

Is he happy and settled generally or does he cry a lot? Will he fall asleep while feeding?

Pram walks are excellent, you need to do it day after day after day, he will link the pram to sleep eventually and the fresh air will do you the both of you the world of good. At two months old you haven’t tried everything consistently enough because you simply haven’t had the time to do that.

thesearms

No! But when people talk about putting babies down for naps and apps to say when you should do this - it’s not my world. That’s all.

And I am confident I have tried everything. But thank you for your advice.

@redlipstickandtiredeyes

thesearms

No! But when people talk about putting babies down for naps and apps to say when you should do this - it’s not my world. That’s all.

At two months old it isn’t most people’s world.

Well there you go then. So there isn’t much that can be done is there.

Putting babies down is just a phrase in many cases though. It doesn't mean the baby goes down quiet and content each and every time. Any technique you use should be done consistently for at least a week or 2 to see if it works. If you say you've tried everything, I believe you, but you may need to try these things for a longer period of time. It's also worth noting that if one thing didn't work today, it may work tomorrow. There is no rhyme or reason in parenting a little baby, its literally chucking shit and seeing what sticks (excuse the phrase).

Tell me about it!