Bad experience at hospital today, do you think so too or was I being too sensitive?

[Sally61nm]

I'm under the care the oral surgery department of a large city hospital, the condition I have is acute TMD (chronic face and head pain basically)

I had an appointment there today for a review of my condition as my last appointment was cancelled in the middle of last year due to covid.

When I arrived the person who called me through wasn't the person I've been working with during my last two appointments, she wasn't welcoming nor approachable and actually had the wrong file to begin with. She thought I was somebody else who was there for something to do with their tongue.

I explained the history and she pulled up my file on the computer. She asked what was going on and I explained that despite physio and medication prescribed previously there the pain was the same and was so unbearable some days that it is impacting my ability to function properly, especially as I have small children I need to be on form for.

When it's at its worst it affects my (already poor) eyesight.

After a very rushed examination which she did only for the benefit of the student observing, she told me (and I quote) "there's nothing we can do, its a complicated joint and it's just how you are. You will have to learn to live with it"

Much to my embarrassment I started to cry at this point as i'd been waiting almost a year for this appointment, suffering daily, she just wasn't interested at all and wanted me to move along.

I asked to speak to the lady I usually see (the one who oversees the care of all the TMD patients) she reluctantly went upstairs to find her but as she was leaving told me that she wouldn't tell me anything different.

The dentist I've seen previously came downstairs and could see I was visibly upset, she was brilliant and long story short we have a plan moving forward. It turns out there's alot more they can do for me including botox and different medications to name two options.

I feel such a fool for crying as I'm usually very stoic, but I've been suffering for so long and saw this appointment today as something to hold out for as the original dentist (not the first woman I saw first today) is lovely and seemed determined to find a way to help me (and still is)

I'm not planning on making a complaint or anything like that but I was wondering what others think about the first dentist treatment towards me?

This is fascinating. I have had TMD for years if not so bad as you. When it first started i only recieved the first reaction from professionals. The brush off feeling comes from them hating to admit they don't know how to fix it. I was referred for a pain management course which i didnt find useful and that was it. I gave up going back because i was told surgery could make it worse and they didnt know what to do. I am very interested if botox is a new treatment i haven't looked into the condition for ages

good for you for asking for the other doctor op

@Sally61nm

Crossed posts

Thank you all for validating my feelings. I felt so defeatist and upset at the time, it's really not like me to break down like that in public.

I didn't want to complain as I know the NHS is under immense strain at the moment, but if people think I should then I'll consider it.

Yes she told me there was nothing that could be done, but there is.

Please don't take this attitude (not meant in a horrid way).

Complaining isn't necessarily just about righting your wrong. As someone else has said, another person in your position may have taken matters into their own hands.

That doctor/dentist needs to learn that what she did was unacceptable. Without feedback, how will she ever know that what she did was wrong?

Hopefully your normal dentist will have already had words with her, but by complaining and bringing it to her attention you cold change the outcome for somebody else.

as she was leaving told me that she wouldn't tell me anything different.

...be sure to include this in your account, as it clearly wasn't true! It would also be worth mentioning that she was being shadowed by a student. Out of interest, was the student still there when you talked to the other specialist? It would have been a very revealing lesson for them!

I'd 100% make a complaint!

I'm divided about your experience today, as some of the dentists on here have already said.
The first clinician you saw was obviously caught on the hop expecting to see someone with a different problem and then was insensitive to your distress but was factually correct in that there are no established protocols for further management.
Pharmacological management of chronic pain is well recognised and Pain Clinics exist because people live with continuing pain that is debilitating, distressing and needs expert management. This is the next step for you as all other treatments have failed to help. Your pregnancy, for now makes drug prescribing limited. Although you have other posters saying how much Botox has helped them this isn't a given.
So if you complain what are you complaining about? What do you want to achieve with the complaint?
Please don't think I am being unsympathetic severe TMJ /myofacial pain is awful and it's really difficult to manage when it doesn't respond to the conventional techniques.

that there are no established protocols for further management.

How do you get from this to 'you'll just have to live with it'? They are not the same so not factually correct at all.

You should def complain to PALS.

Why are there no established protocols ? I had my tmj issue addressed 25 years ago, have we gone backwards, this isn't an uncommon problem.

@Viviennemary

It's cheeky you needed to get upset to get decent treatment from the NHS. That's why I think the whole system is totally shit.

That is the only way I have been taken seriously by hcp's in the past few years. I'm always polite and try to follow the advice given. I don't understand why they treat me with such indifference and in some cases contempt. I ended up in a right state when one in particular tried repeatedly to discharge me after day surgery with no pain relief for something EXTREMELY painful, because the correct paperwork hadn't been done. I really have massive trust issues with hcp's and I'm constantly proved right.

There are no established protocols for further management because response to other treatments becomes difficult to prove as there is a similar response rate with placebo treatments. Most people will respond to conservative treatment but it's the few like the OP who don't where everything else is a trial and see if it helps. As a clinician you are expected to follow protocols, use treatments that have proven success.
When I worked in clinics 20 plus years ago routine arthroscopy treatment was being stopped as part of the protocols because of this. It is only used very selectively now partly because it was proven that placebo arthroscopy gave the same success rate as arthroscopy and partly because the facial nerve runs here so there is a risk of facial paralysis from may or may not work surgery.

I appreciate you answering my question.
I feel very lucky that I had no ill effects from my arthroscopy.
Regarding the placebo effect, how does that work? Do they not do an arthrography to assess if there's an actual issue, disc displacement etc before they do surgery?
(Sorry for the questions)

The placebo effect is the strange way the human brain works. When people have a pill or treatment done even if they are told it's a placebo they still see improvement.
Arthroscopy was a routine management for TMJ issues 20 plus years ago. When the figures were looked at they showed that a placebo would have been as effective. Surgery now is much less frequent and not as random.

@Sally61nm how are you now ? All my symptoms are the same. Started just before or whilst pregnant and was strssed . Many thanks xx

I think that you are a complete star. After being told very bad news and being upset ( along with judging yourself for being upset, a position I know only too well) you were assertive and together enough to ask to see your usual dentist. I’m impressed with that, I think I would have frozen and gone silently home.

I agree with others that you should complain. The way she treated you was awful. The proof was in the pudding, as the other dentist clearly could help you.

As others have said, someone might do something awful another time at the end of their tether

Something incredibly similar happened to me, I went in for a gastroscopy but it couldn't go ahead because my blood pressure was too high. The doctor who was meant to be performing it took me into a side room and told me I shouldn't rebook the appointment as my symptoms were "in my mind" and "there's nothing we can do, learn to live with it". I embarrassingly started crying as well as I couldn't imagine the rest of my life feeling this pain. He also kept asking if I'd had a divorce/moved house/changed jobs and that was probably the reason for my symptoms, even though none of those things had happened. I ended up going to a different hospital for the rebooked appointment thankfully. I've spent a lot of time with doctors and they really vary in compassion and ability to talk to patients. Your first dentist sounds lovely and I hope you feel better soon