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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To just be SO BORED in the evenings?

201 replies

Athenaena · 17/03/2021 08:59

As title.

DH and I have just ended up going to bed every night at 9/9.30 the last couple of weeks (even on the bloody weekend!) we struggle to find things to watch on TV that we both enjoy. We’ll find a series and then binge watch because it’s something that we both actually like. Then we’re back to square one.

Honestly, I’m just so bored in the evenings now. I’m fed up of winter, at least if it was summer we could be sat out in the garden with the chimnea of an evening, or go for a nice evening walk somewhere, or if in normal times, out to dinner/ cinema/ have friends over.

I’m just so fed up of sitting in every.single.evening. It’s like Groundhog Day. We’re both fed up and by the time 9pm comes round we don’t have anything else to say to one another as neither of us are really doing anything/ seeing anyone atm, therefore going to bed just seems like the best option.

Anyone else starting to feel similar?

OP posts:
dementedma · 17/03/2021 21:11

Bored as fuck here. DH permanently glued to football, no shared hobbies or interests. I pretty much go to bed after dinner. Not into board games, cant knit/crochet etc. Have to work from home during the day, then spend the evening waiting for bedtime.

Nicecupofteaandacake · 17/03/2021 21:24

Oh I hear you OP! Yes just so fucking bored now! I cannot wait for the lighter evenings to sit outside with a glass -bottle- of wine. To perhaps have a friend or neighbour over in the garden to share said bottle with.

I don’t watch any TV (don’t have the attention span for it) DH loves it. So one evening a week he has a film night (I’d rather spoon my eyes out.!) he also has one evening a week meeting up with friends online to game. Then he has a third night he watches box sets (well, he is rewatching now!). Those evenings I have a nice bath, face mask, do nails, do some yoga and meditation, write in my journal reflecting the past few days. I also like to do the openlearn free courses - I tend to just pick something random that sparks my interest, and work through it over the evenings.

Very much looking forward to the better weather and seeing other humans!

chocolateonnomnomnom · 17/03/2021 21:28

Your dh is really a big part of the issue then. If he doesn't want take away then the onus is on him to cook.

HotPenguin · 17/03/2021 21:30

It's shit, I can't even summon the energy to read a book in the evening. I think maybe I am depressed as literally nothing appeals. Every evening I put my kids to bed, usually losing my temper in the process, and by the time that's done I feel exhausted and miserable and there's nothing I want to do.

MrsWP · 17/03/2021 21:31

Some nights I do.

We've got Schitt's Creek and Taskmaster on the go simultaneously so watch an episode of those some nights.

We both game so some nights we do that.

And there's always sex as a very non-boring option.

Also pestering the cats keeps me very entertained. My younger one is very playful most nights and the ones he isn't he's in a cuddly mood so it's win/win with him.

TheJerkStore · 17/03/2021 21:34

It sounds like you have a DH problem rather than a boredom problem.
It's really unfair of him to accuse you of neglecting your marriage because you might want to do something that doesn't involve him....especially in the current circumstances.

As for you doing all the cooking - I'd be making sure that's shared more equally for a start!!

Mooda · 17/03/2021 21:34

I'm the opposite. Pre pandemic my evenings were boring - basically a nightly taxi service taking the DC from one sport to another. Now I have all this time to read and watch TV, play games and do a bit of this and that, I love it. But only 3 weeks to go until kids sports starts and the taxi revs up again. I'm dreading it although I'll be happy for the DC.

Ragwort · 17/03/2021 21:36

I agree with your comment OP that it might be easier to be on your own .... then I feel bad as i have friends who are single saying that they miss company ... but if I was on my own I would happily sit through trashy TV without my DH huffing and puffing, there's plenty of things I would happily do on my own .. the other night I couldn't sleep and really felt like getting up and blitzing the housework ... but I wouldn't want to disturb my DH who is WFH. Or I could play the sort of music I like Grin.

CrystalE · 17/03/2021 21:39

I agree op.

Also to the person who went on about batch cooking - a) that is still boring b) no point unless you have giant freezer c) won't everyone get even more bored eating the same food all the time?

Ragwort · 17/03/2021 21:43

I did do some batch cooking this evening ... didn't take long and I am still bored Grin. Now in bed wasting time on the iPad.

SandSeaBeach · 17/03/2021 22:10

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

snowstorm2012 · 17/03/2021 22:25

You could light the chiminea and sit out at night sometimes? We've done that a few Saturday nights now and sat round the fire pit with wine it's been so nice, feels like we've been out 😂

Plus it's handy as you can keep a bottle of wine outside with you and it stays cold 👍🏼

Okbussitout · 18/03/2021 08:21

@CrystalE

I agree op.

Also to the person who went on about batch cooking - a) that is still boring b) no point unless you have giant freezer c) won't everyone get even more bored eating the same food all the time?

Hahah! Yep
PandoraP · 18/03/2021 08:26

🤣at batch cooking

Okbussitout · 18/03/2021 08:26

@thecatandthevicar

For many people they don't have the energy to read or do constructive things in the evening. The mental energy needed when life is so draining right now is often too much

best advice is to try to exercise to be honest.

It was already the best advice when people had full days at work, the worst thing you can do is slob in front of the sofa watching tv.

Unless you have a disability, reading is not exactly taxing! Not enough actually, you're better off being active

I'm dyslexic so yeah I guess I do have a disability in this regard thanks.

On another note who knew people were so judgemental about how people spend their free time? But I suppose its mumsnet so....

HumphreyCobblers · 18/03/2021 08:29

Do download a good book! Reading a book does not equal neglecting your marriage. And make your DH cook tea.

userxx · 18/03/2021 08:32

Yep, it's dull. I need nice weather, my friends and lots of wine.

joanna67 · 18/03/2021 08:33

I agree. I'm bored stiff. Bored of reading, bored of tv, bored of every evening being the same. I'm counting the days until the clocks change. It'll be easier when the evenings are lighter and the weather gets warmer.

Moonface123 · 18/03/2021 08:46

You need to find some hobbies.
I don't watch tv, l find that totally boring. Go and do something productive, be creative. I grow lots of plants from seeds, l paint, l read, l listen to music, l make crafty things to sell at farmers markets, car boot sales. I love the evenings, often best part of the day for me.

Viviennemary · 18/03/2021 08:50

You could knit or sew. Or do a jigsaw for an hour or two.

sagaLoren · 18/03/2021 09:01

I think we all know that we could knit or sew or read a book if we wanted to. I think the problem is that many of us don't want the quiet life (it really is my worst nightmare). Also if you do a very cerebral job that requires hours and hours of quiet concentration then you don't really want to spend your evenings doing more of the same. It's not natural or healthy to spend all day working on your own indoors and then all evening...sitting on your own indoors.

Anyway I am counting down the days until freedom now and I will be out every night of the week as soon as I'm allowed - bring it on!

Babdoc · 18/03/2021 09:05

You need a hobby that can be done online. My local bridge club has been closed for a whole year, since the start of the pandemic, but we moved it online and can now play against opponents from all over the country, without leaving home, which has improved our play enormously. Many people enjoy online chess, poker, scrabble, or computer gaming, too. There are also thousands of brilliant novels waiting to be read - you can order them from online bookshops.
The great outdoors is still there, within your local area, and Spring has sprung. Outdoor walks, gardening, biking, etc are still available.
I think the biggest problem is simply motivation, OP. The lockdown has sapped people’s enthusiasm and made us miserable with the lack of social contact, and the absence of our usual entertainments such as theatre, concerts, films and holidays. But the worst is already over - we are discussing the route out of lockdown already, and things will be a lot better within a few more weeks. Chin up!

FangsForTheMemory · 18/03/2021 09:07

I’m restless too in the events. It’s not just lockdown, it’s spring. Can’t wait for the clocks to go forward!

FangsForTheMemory · 18/03/2021 09:07

*evenings

CovidSucks5356 · 18/03/2021 09:42

Get a VR headset, saved my sanity when I got mine in June (had an Oculus Go then upgraded to a Quest 2 - highly recommend the Quest 2). They aren't just for gamers, I don't consider myself a gamer. I go on for the social apps mainly. Altspace is where I spend a lot of time. You're an avatar and can speak to real people, go to virtual events, explore worlds people have made. I've made some lovely friends on it who I hang out with regularly. Such a laugh!

Me and DH are both pretty introverted and tend to spend our evenings doing our own thing, he's been WFH for the last 5 years and I'm unable to work at the moment so we are together all day. But I like to socialise more than he does so the VR has been awesome for that.

Honestly I can't explain how much it's helped me through lockdown being able to socialise with other people virtually.