To just be SO BORED in the evenings?

[Athenaena]

As title.

DH and I have just ended up going to bed every night at 9/9.30 the last couple of weeks (even on the bloody weekend!) we struggle to find things to watch on TV that we both enjoy. We’ll find a series and then binge watch because it’s something that we both actually like. Then we’re back to square one.

Honestly, I’m just so bored in the evenings now. I’m fed up of winter, at least if it was summer we could be sat out in the garden with the chimnea of an evening, or go for a nice evening walk somewhere, or if in normal times, out to dinner/ cinema/ have friends over.

I’m just so fed up of sitting in every.single.evening. It’s like Groundhog Day. We’re both fed up and by the time 9pm comes round we don’t have anything else to say to one another as neither of us are really doing anything/ seeing anyone atm, therefore going to bed just seems like the best option.

Anyone else starting to feel similar?

@EileenGC

Oh OP, please move in with me and I’ll give you plenty to do! 9pm is when most of my daily tasks begin - batch cooking, cleaning (except hoovering which happens during social hours), ironing, I then spend about 1-2h doing emails and other work stuff... the list is endless. That’s when I’m not at work in which all of this gets pushed to 11pm Please come here, life will never be tedious again I promise.

I could have written this too!

Isn’t batch cooking meant to make your life easier so you don’t have to be in the kitchen at 9pm @EileenGC? Maybe just order a takeaway and chill out a bit...

I can't remember the last time I was bored.
Sorry OP.
In fact I wish the day had more hours.

@Okbussitout

I think there are quite a lot of replies which lack empathy. Tbh I'm knackered by the end of the day. For many people they don't have the energy to read or do constructive things in the evening. The mental energy needed when life is so draining right now is often too much.

Also it's a bit smog to talk about how busy you are with family life knowing full well that many people find this exhausting or are not in that situation.

So eh yeah a bit more empathy would be nice.

But if you’re knackered surely you wouldn’t want to go out or do anything anyway? So that’s not really about being bored

@Athenaena

As title.

DH and I have just ended up going to bed every night at 9/9.30 the last couple of weeks (even on the bloody weekend!) we struggle to find things to watch on TV that we both enjoy. We’ll find a series and then binge watch because it’s something that we both actually like. Then we’re back to square one.

Honestly, I’m just so bored in the evenings now. I’m fed up of winter, at least if it was summer we could be sat out in the garden with the chimnea of an evening, or go for a nice evening walk somewhere, or if in normal times, out to dinner/ cinema/ have friends over.

I’m just so fed up of sitting in every.single.evening. It’s like Groundhog Day. We’re both fed up and by the time 9pm comes round we don’t have anything else to say to one another as neither of us are really doing anything/ seeing anyone atm, therefore going to bed just seems like the best option.

Anyone else starting to feel similar?

This is the most relatable post I have ever seen. I am SO BORED of watching the TV. I had annual leave from work last week and in a real low point I ended up checking my emails for an hour on my day off because I was so bored!!!

I’ve already sorted out/ redecorated/ done craft projects / baked and I cannot face another bloody walk!

But if you’re knackered surely you wouldn’t want to go out or do anything anyway? So that’s not really about being bored

Exactly.

Is it bored or tired?

I'm never ever bored tbh. In the evening we usually watch tv or a film or play board games. Or dh plays a game and I knit or crochet. If I got fed up with that I'd read. Or work on the language I'm learning. I've just applied for a job, and if I get it I'll need to spend a good chunk of my evenings working. I will miss my leisure time!

Very relatable @Athenaena

We (DH and I) don't like most of what's on TV so we often end up watching something really good, but that we've seen several times already!

We're too tired to do something more interesting like play games or do puzzles, although I have suggested it. By that point in the evening I just want to switch off my brain for an hour by watching something that isn't too challenging!

Sorry to lower the tone but if I was able to be in bed with dh, uninterrupted at 9 every night, I know how we'd be passing the time!!!

We mix it up a bit.
One night I will have a bath, face mask, do nails etc/DH will watch stuff I dislike
Another DH will read in bed/I watch my stuff he dislikes.
We have found a few good box sets on bbc/stv as Netflix/Amazon’d out!
We sometimes go a walk.
Zoom drinks with friends.
Family movie night.
Themed dinner night... everyone helps.

I used to stay up after DS was in bed and watch a programme and relax. Now he's a teen there is no peace and I go to bed early

@PattyPan

Well I suppose if we weren't basically under house arrest and not in a pandemic people would be a lot less emotionally and physically exhausted.

Not that hard to understand? right back at ya!

Having nothing to do is tiring. Not being able to just live your life and having to factor covid rules into everything, making life just more complex - is tiring.

And there's no excitement or novelty in life. Its just a drudge. I know so many people on here rave about how much they like life like this, I find it harder to understand the longer it goes on for.

OP - its ok to be miserable. Its not that you are missing some trick. But its less than a month until the next round of restrictions lift.

@Okbussitout I understand that the pandemic itself is tiring (I’m a key worker!) but I don’t understand the link to being bored. Most people who are knackered surely want to collapse in front of the tv or go to bed early, which is the opposite of what OP is saying.

Today 09:31 WhereamI88

You're going to get a lot of sanctimonious posts from people telling you that either 1) they don't have that problem because of how hard their life is, or 2) they have a very specific hobby which does not involve in person contact and that they are happy to do every single day.

How right you were @WhereamI88 😂

Oh yes in fact thinking about going to bed now as nothing else to do. So bored.

It's getting a bit repetitive isn't it, and once you hit that stage, I find it hard to get out of it. Usually I'm one for tidying out a drawer or ordering something exciting but I feel like I've had all of those desires zapped out of me! I have a baby who I feed to sleep around 7 or half 7, then spend an hour on my phone looking at news or on here and then I'm asleep at 830/9! Can't be bothered to find anything to watch as I'd only have an hour and it'd wake the baby. But then because I go to sleep early, I'm awake from 6 or if the baby wakes at 5 then I don't go back to sleep.
It's like one long day, over and over again!
I guess I wouldn't be doing much anyway, but atleast having things like a weekend trip somewhere to look forward to helps!

I believe its normal to feel tired when you have nothing to do for an extended period, something about your body conserving energy over quiet times.

Its been boring and nothing to plan or fuss over for ages.

I totally get what you are saying OP. I’m someone who needs a lot of solitude to recharge my batteries and pre-COVID I tended to spend my evenings happily on my own.

However, I enjoy mooching around shops, going to the cinema and art galleries, taking a train out somewhere for the day, sitting in cafes and people watching, going to the gym, meeting people for lunch, just all the normal things we took for granted. Doing those things on my days off satisfied me so evenings were simply relaxing and not boring.

This situation isn’t normal and a lot of people are experiencing low level depression which makes it hard to concentrate or get enthusiastic about trying new things. Energy levels are low, moods are low, it isn’t easy (except for a few people on this thread!) Telling people they need to exercise or do housework isn’t helpful, they might as well tell people to pull their socks up.

Not long now though... hopefully 🙂

I feel the same, I'm single and after work it's so dull.

Oh, and I’ve been getting into bed at any time from 5:30pm to 8’ish in the last few weeks and browsing on my iPad or watching telly until 10pm.

I'm a big reader so always have a book on the go. It's a big cure for boredom for me.
And with two small DC and wfh, by the time they're in bed I'm zonked and enjoy the peace and quiet, and opportunity to scroll through my phone without having to worry about little people watching me do it!

DH is very good at keeping himself occupied too (he's a gamer) and often we really need our own space after living on top of each other for so along, so we usually spend about three nights watching TV together and the rest doing our own thing. I might treat myself to a bath, catch up on chores or waste way too much time on Mumsnet

That said, if this had happened ten years ago when I was living by myself and single and out most nights socialising, this would have been utterly, massively shit. Those in that situation have my full sympathy.

Absolutely agree with you OP. We are too depleted in the evenings to do anything that involves using our brains, so more often than not we end up binge-watching series as well, maybe a film & takeaway at the weekend, and the occasional card/board game. I need other people and activities outside my home in order to feel motivated and energised...

It's not like we're boring people either. For example, I've learned to speak two foreign languages fluently as an adult, but the thought of trying to learn another with zero human interaction makes me want to cry. It sucks.

Thanks for the replies. So glad I’m not the only one feeling this way but sorry to hear others are in the same boat!

Just to clarify, my main hobby is my horse. I go to him everyday after work and don’t get home most evenings til 6. I then cook/ have dinner and shower so don’t get downstairs to sit down in front of the tv until about 7.30. The weekends I’m earlier and obviously am sitting about the house during the day a lot more, I find weekends harder as I’m usually down in the living room by 6.30 and it’s just a whole evening of trying to find something to watch that both DH and I can both enjoy. Quite often though it’s me scrolling on my phone, on here for instance and DH just watching one of his programmes whilst I’m just sat here.

I also walk the dog twice a day in addition to work and horse atm so it’s not like I’m sat around the house all day. The daytimes aren’t too bad, it’s just the evenings I’m struggling with. I think too because I do most of the cooking and I’m SOOO FED UP of having to think what to cook for dinner each bloody night. I long to just go out for dinner. Every time I suggest a takeaway DH bleats that we can’t afford it and that we’ve got lots of food in arghh!

So it’s not like I’m a hermit that doesn’t have any hobbies and never leaves the house. But the thought of knitting or cross stitch leaves me cold (no offence to anyone who does them and I can totally appreciate they’d be ideal things to do in the evening) I’m not creative or crafty at all.

I love reading actually, or used to so maybe I’ll download some books onto my kindle and try and get back into reading. I just feel bad because then I totally ignore DH all night and after a few nights he moans that we’re neglecting our marriage blah blah. It would almost be easier in some ways if I were single I feel as then I really could do WTF I liked and not have to please anyone else.

Anyway, I know it’s not too much longer, thankfully! I really think the weather getting warmer and sunnier would help. I long for summer, I know we’ll be out of lockdown by then anyway, but the first lockdown we had, it was glorious weather and I didn’t feel like this. I just feel like this is the longest winter ever, I’m thinking because we’ve been locked down pretty much since 31st October!