Did you make the choice to be / not be religious?

[the0logical]

Just been reading another thread on here about religion and I always think the theological discussions on here are fascinating.

I'll start - I identify as an athiest, I was brought up in a non-religious family but attended heavily Catholic schools. I didn't like some of the ideologies that became mixed into the religious elements of my schooling (e.g. through correlation or randomness, the most "devout" children were always the most prejudiced) and this pushed me away from entering into any faith. I studied Philosophy & Religion at a higher level and then learned about my perception of fallacies in most major religions, which I couldn't seem to logically support especially when I didn't have any feelings of faith. I've never felt the capacity to let myself be succumbed by a religion, though I have tried - I just don't believe.

So, guess I'm just curious to know some reasons why people are / aren't religious and how much of a "choice" it is. Not a reporter before anyone asks, just a nerd who loves anecdotes especially in a religious debate!

YABU - I made an active choice to become religious, or to become non-religious
YANBU - I didn't make any choice, I have always believed / never believed
(hoping that makes sense!)

I was christened by my parents but they were never practicing Christians.

I make a conscious choice to not believe in religion as such, I think it’s classed as agnostic? I don’t believe in a god but I do believe we can go to a heaven type place when we die and I also believe in ghosts and reincarnation so a bit of a mixture but no gods of any sort.

My dad is a vicar, but I'm not sure what I am. Another vicar told me when I was about 13 that my great aunt and uncle would go to hell because they didn't believe. They were really nice people, just not religious. I think that was the point I decided that it wasn't for me.

I was raised Christian, turned my back on it as a teen. Came back to it as an adult because I can’t not believe in God. However I’m disagree with a lot of stuff taught in a lot of Churches. There’s too much man made stuff that isn’t in the Bible, and isn’t what Jesus taught.

I made an active choice, once I was old enough, because it just didn't make sense to me.

I never made a choice, my family just didn’t believe in anything. I don’t identify as anything. I don’t believe in a god or gods or any kind of the theological or spiritual aspect to life; which technically puts me in the “atheist” category, and so if pushed I’d answer that I’m an atheist if questioned. But it’s less that I have a firm belief that a god or gods don’t exist and more that... well, I just haven’t ever really considered that they could because I’ve never given it much thought, because obviously they don’t. If that makes sense. Any more than I’d say I’m “a-unicornist” or “a-fairyist”. It wouldn’t occur to me to think of it as something I need to identify with, or a belief system.

However I’m disagree with a lot of stuff taught in a lot of Churches. There’s too much man made stuff that isn’t in the Bible, and isn’t what Jesus taught.

That's interesting - what type of things do you disagree with? And how did you manage to re-assimilate yourself within a community that has individuals who promote the things you disagree with as a key component of that community?

I was raised religious but chose not to be in my 20s. It was very difficult to leave the church. I lost most of my friends and had friction with my mother over it. I know I made the right decision, even though staying and living a lie would have been easier in the short term.

I went to a Church of England school (not in UK) and grew up going to church at Easter and Christmas because it was the 'done thing'. I'm christened and confirmed - again the done thing. I've never felt any faith and have identified as atheist my whole adult life. My DS isn't christened, I never took him to church or talked about religion and he learned everything he did about all religions at school. When he asked me about it I always told him that I don't believe there is a God, but that's my choice and it's his choice what he believes. When he was about 14/15 he became curious and started going to the local Catholic church every Sunday morning with his friends. That lasted about 3 months when he decided it wasn't for him either and he didn't believe there was a God.

I realised that, to me, it's all bunkum. There's no divine or happy after are. This is it.

Raised Catholic, chose to be an atheist as soon as I possibly could. I believe in science and facts.

Brought up to attend church weekly. Far too terrified of hell as a child not to profess belief. Endured decades worth of dull as ditchwater sermons, prayer meetings and bible studies with never a whisper from the thin air all around.

Finally and happily done with it all.

I wasn't brought up to be religious and I wasn't Christened, although one of my parents is Christian - they choose to keep it private and it's very personal to them, and I didn't even know they were religious until I was an adult

I went to a church primary school by chance (it was the only school in our village), but I genuinely didn't understand that people believed in all of the things we were told about. I wasn't a particularly cynical kid, it's more that I didn't think very hard about things. The school staff must have been scratching their heads at me - I was immune to their spiritual guidance.

So I didn't make any conscious decision. I really didn't know that being religious was an option, which with hindsight I see is very weird given the upbringing I had!

I also don't think I made a conscious decision, my family aren't religious and some of the older members have had really bad experiences (not sexual abuse but physical) at religious schools as children. I think they actively made the choice not to be part of a religion and therefore it was passed onto kids and grandkids.

I do know of a boy in my year at school, he was brought up as a Jehovah's Witness, as soon as he turned 18 he left the church and subsequently moved away to university. I think his older sister might've done the same thing. They made a very bold and difficult choice despite their parents wishes. We didn't go to a religious school and he was the only person in my year who I knew to be a witness.

I also studied archaeology and I do know someone who is now working towards a PhD who is an active member of the Church of England. I don't quite understand how he reconciles archaeological/historical fact with the Christian teachings around evolution and the creation of the earth and life.

Neither of those really apply to me. I was raised in an atheist family in an area where quite conservative Christianity was common. I was fascinated by the idea of God, and sought out spiritual experiences (as a teenager, I would sometimes lie to my parents and sneak out to go to church) but I wanted nothing to do with the fundamentalist Christianity I encountered, which was misogynistic, homophobic and generally against most of my principals.

So in my twenties I became a witch, but that wasn't quite right and I ended up finding a totally different group of Christians and that's where I stayed.

So for me, I got to pick what religion I followed, but that sense if the present if God wasn't a choice. I know that there have been studies showing that there is a genetic component to spirituality, and I'm perfectly willing to accept that some of my faith is down to brain chemistry.

It's interesting to consider what 'being religious' even means, I think.

I mean, I am Jewish, one of three siblings. We observed a certain amount of the religion at home - kept kosher at home, went to synagogue fairly often, not just the major festivals. My parents were always clear it was our choice what we did with it. My brother and I both married Jewish partners, my sister made it clear after her bat mitzvah that she had no further interest in it and never really did anything thereafter and married a lovely man from a similarly non-judgmental Catholic family.

I think I felt I ought to carry things on in part because of my maternal grandfather's family being almost obliterated in the Holocaust and the many other Jews who were lost. But also I liked carrying on such an ancient tradition - as my MIL has said, it can feel like a duty, but actually it becomes a privilege. Judaism to me, and I think most modern non-Orthodox Jews, is a spiritual and cultural tradition rather than a faith. I don't think many non-Orthodox Jews actually believe in God, but they do believe in carrying on the tradition, and it does have spiritual meaning, God or no.

I was christened, and my dm insisted I was confirmed so I could apply to the local c of e grammar. By the end of confirmation classes I knew I'd only take communion that once, I found the whole thing completely absurd.

Now I go to weddings, funerals and the occasional carol concert because I like the singing.

I like drawing churches though. Nice architecture so I suppose we can thank the church for that.

Another raised as a catholic- I spent time in my late teens exploring other forms of Christianity as I could see friends getting great comfort from their faith in a way that I never had. But concluded in my early twenties that religion was a way for the powerful to control the masses throughout history, and that too many wars, inequalities and cruelty are carried out in the name of a god or gods. I became interested in the drive towards believing in a ‘higher power’, but essentially I trust humans to weigh up the evidence they have from science and reason and take responsibility for making their own ethical and moral decisions. So I think now I probably a humanist

I was raised in a multifaith household, muslim and sikh. I generally call myself an athiest sikh. I don’t personally believe in god, but I generally follow sikhism apart from the god bit. I don’t follow all of the five Ks I do the kangha and the kara, I sometimes have my kirpan. At certain times I do follow kesh and kachera, normally around the time of big celebrations or events. I’m getting married in April so I will observe the 5 Ks until after the wedding. So essentially more of a sikh who follows tradition rather than one with religious belief.

I grew up C of E. Church every Sunday, youth groups, praying multiple times a day at home. My parents are still religious, I'm not.

I started really doubting when I was 15 or 16 because a lot of what I'd been taught didn't seem to line up with my own life experiences. I never got the "feeling of His presence" that a lot of people talked about, but I did really want to.

It was an active decision to stop going to church in my twenties, but that was after almost a decade of trying to make myself believe in God. Not believing wasn't my choice.

I was raised Catholic, and believed until my teens. I still believe in God, and I believe that Jesus lived, not that he’s the son of God. I also believe that Mohammed lived

Went to Sunday school as a child, a neighbour took me. Left as a teenager, but always been fascinated with anything spiritual. Became a Christian in my late 20s after a traumatic experience. My faith does waiver sometimes, and throughout lockdown I haven't missed church ( I hate zoom), but I talk to God all the time ( I realize that may make me sound mad). I feel closer to God in the countryside than a building. We have a particularly obnoxious retired priest in our parish (who has PTO) and I'm afraid that my dislike of him temporarily colours my relationship with God, but it wears off pretty quickly.

This is so interesting.

My faith does waiver sometimes, and throughout lockdown I haven't missed church ( I hate zoom), but I talk to God all the time

Could I ask what talking to God looks like or feels like for you? It doesn't sound crazy by any means, but I'm wondering if it resembles a monologue or a dialogue more closely. I think the nature of having any kind of communication with a spiritual entity is an interesting one, I wish I had the faith to attempt it.

Also, since most of the responders on here have been of the athiest / non-religious persuasion, can I ask - if you had the choice to be religious or believe in God, would you take it?

How interesting!!!

We weren't brought up to be anything.

I discovered what I call a spiritual belief through counselling and self help when I was in my late 20s, getting help for child abuse.

I guess it distilled it but saying i learnt the power of thought and stillness and good thoughts, of belief, of not knowing but trusting, of relaxing into goodness and then experiencing goodness come about. After a shitty childhood and a lot of feeling lost as a young woman, I finally found ease and it came thro trust, belief, relaxing into what is and thinking things into being. Think it, do it, be it.

I think about how, if you take time out to stop, breathe, and think about peace, kindness, everything being alright, then it recentres a person and they give and receive that. I dont believe in god but I believe in spirit and nature and balance.