Did you make the choice to be / not be religious?

[the0logical]

Just been reading another thread on here about religion and I always think the theological discussions on here are fascinating.

I'll start - I identify as an athiest, I was brought up in a non-religious family but attended heavily Catholic schools. I didn't like some of the ideologies that became mixed into the religious elements of my schooling (e.g. through correlation or randomness, the most "devout" children were always the most prejudiced) and this pushed me away from entering into any faith. I studied Philosophy & Religion at a higher level and then learned about my perception of fallacies in most major religions, which I couldn't seem to logically support especially when I didn't have any feelings of faith. I've never felt the capacity to let myself be succumbed by a religion, though I have tried - I just don't believe.

So, guess I'm just curious to know some reasons why people are / aren't religious and how much of a "choice" it is. Not a reporter before anyone asks, just a nerd who loves anecdotes especially in a religious debate!

YABU - I made an active choice to become religious, or to become non-religious
YANBU - I didn't make any choice, I have always believed / never believed
(hoping that makes sense!)

I've never believed in any of it. I was brought up JW, but left that religion at an early age when my mum left my dad. I was relieved, as I'd always thought it was a load of old nonsense. I think being brought up in NI during the troubles made it all massively unappealing too, I never could understand why so many people hated each other just because they had different religions, especially when a lot of them didn't even go to church. As an adult, my stance hasn't changed.

And as for the poster who believes its just as easy to be evil as good, and only god is providing her with a moral stance, words absolutely fail me! Don't you have ANY moral compass?

Also, since most of the responders on here have been of the athiest / non-religious persuasion, can I ask - if you had the choice to be religious or believe in God, would you take it?

No, as i believe religion/god is a bunch of bs
Its used by people to further hate, discrimination and sexism, its also used by people as a "get out of jail free card" for being an asshole "oh the bible says"

I am muslim, grew up in a Muslim household. My parents tried to lead by example but 5x prayers were advised but never insisted upon. I try to do the same in my own home. Dh is closer to God than me, will wake early for prayers and rarely misses them, I could be better at this but life often gets in the way and I don't make it a priority. My religion affects how I live my life and raise my family, I do not judge others by the teachings of my religion. Why would I, they don't follow it? For me growing up religion was never a chore just an ingrained, positive way of life and I want to demonstrate the principles to my own children. Ultimately they will make their own choices re religion as they get older and I will love them all the same.

Raised Muslim, chose to be a Muslim after I married a non Muslim. Went into pre term labour with my son who was born alive at just under 5 months and died after almost an hour.

For hours and hours when I was having contractions I prayed and prayed and prayed. Non stop. My son was born alive, strong and healthy no ready to die but no one was able to do anything because he was too young.

We’ve had no answers as to why this happened, and I have to live with that and the fact my body expelled him when he wasn’t ready to leave.

So my thoughts on this are, if there is a god, that was an evil thing to do. Not something I can follow or believe in after losing him.

I was baptised & my mum tried to send me to Sunday school but I hated it & wouldn't go. I got married in church mainly because exh wanted the full works, I would have been happy down the registry office in my jeans. My dad stopped believing when his older brother was killed during the war, he said if God was real then he wouldn't have allowed a war & people being killed. I don't believe, to me the bible is just a book of stories, ds hasn't been baptised, I've told him it is his decision if he ever wants to, but he is very anti religion after attending a Catholic primary school.

I made an active decision not to believe, after listening when I was young. None of it seemed remotely believable and to this day it doesn't.

Religion to me now also means trouble and want no part of it.

I was raised Catholic and did all the First Holy Communion and Confirmation. We went to Church every Sunday until my Nana died, I think my Mum's grief stopped that. Catholic schools, but with some interesting flexes, always open and supportive of anyone who was LBTQ+, I studied the Philosophy course mentioned above and was persona non grata for arguing that we'd had a speaker about abortion who showed us four week scans but noone from an abortion organisation. I still identify as a non practising Catholic because its my upbringing but I don't agree with so much of RC. But then my friend (female) is a Minster for a non Roman Catholic Church and they're so open.

I was brought up Catholic - schools friends family. Found it dull - couldn’t wrap my head around why adults went to church - As a child I had no choice. Escape was always on the cards - it did feel like a prison sentence.

My DM always insists she is an atheist although we used to attend Church at Easter and Christmas. I became more interested when I was a teenager as there was a very good youth group attached to the Church, we were just encouraged to get together, have discussions about moral issues, current affairs etc ... there was no pressure to attend church services ... I really liked the other people who attended (recently had a 40 year reunion which was amazing!).

I continued to attend church as I left home and went to Uni, moved around the country etc - it's a really good way to get to know new people so ai suppose my faith is important to me because of the 'community' aspect of it. We do lots of social outreach, supporting people in the community, Food Bank, old folks clubs etc - lots and lots of this voluntary work is done by people of faith - I absolutely know you don't need a faith to offer support in the community but it's interesting just how many of these groups are 'faith based'.

I am fortunate because I never experienced any 'negative' aspects of the sort you read about. My DPs do not attend church regularly, although might join me for certain services, my DH only attends at Christmas and Easter (although would consider himself to have a faith), my DS attends a different Church to the one I attend - I didn't bring him up to attend Church - he made his own choice as a teenager- also based on a youth club.

The family members who were most religious, or who subscribed most strongly to the dogma of their culture, also acted in ways that were harmful to others

This generalisation is very inaccurate and prejudiced

When my children were born I did not have them christened and have never taken them to church, though I know they have been a few times with their dad. The choice to have a faith / not have a faith is completely theirs to make as adults, not mine to enforce on them when they were children

When parents do this, they have to accept that children will most likely end up being atheist. It's very unlikely that they will suddenly become religious when adults spontaneously

I must admit I'm finding the idea that some view morality as only existing when they believe in God very disturbing.

Why should morality only exist in that way? If you are only being 'good' because of a belief can you really say you are a good person?

When parents do this, they have to accept that children will most likely end up being atheist. It's very unlikely that they will suddenly become religious when adults spontaneously

That's my hope! My DC are not being brought up with religion but have no choice but to attend a catholic school. I'm hoping I'll be able to counter the daily indoctrination and they'll grow up atheist or agnostic at least.

I was brought up neither one way nor another - my mum had faith, my dad was a hardline atheist and both agreed that my Dsis and I wouldn't be indoctrinated either way. I was always a bit of an agnostic until I went to my first church service, in my then BF, later DH's church. It was so much bullshit (the sermon was about how women should serve men even if they'd just got up off their deathbed, based on a Bible story about how Jesus healed this woman who was dying so she made them lunch. FFS, couldn't he have made his own sarnies?) that I gave up on the existence of any god.

I derive enormous comfort from my belief that there isn't a God. It means that all the bad things (and I do mean really awful) that happened between 2016 and 2019 are just chance, and there isn't some deity just sitting there letting it happen, watching it happen and thinking that yeah, that's OK, we'll just let that continue.

Not believing also means that it is up to me to be the best human being I can be, so that's what I live by every day.

Actively choose to be an atheist.

I find it gives me great comfort thinking that there is no pre-set meaning to life, that we are all quite insignificant in the grand schemes of time and space but we are incredibly lucky to be here and are important to ourselves and those around us and can therefore get to choose the meaning for our short lives in the universe..we can choose to love, choose to be good, choose to try and make the world a better place in some way, however small. But ultimately, we will die and that will be it. I find that actually very uplifting. Makes me grateful for my time and encourages me to not put things off for 'one day', but to live and experience the joys of life now.

The thought of a God monitoring my every move (God seems remarkably petty and very 'human' to me to be caring about the minutiae of human lives etc) and having a pre-ordained 'plan' for me I find very distasteful. I also find it very arrogant to think that the entire universe, or even just Earth, was created for mankind...especially when we've only occupied it for what is just a small blip in the grand scheme of things....

(obviously nothing against religious people, I'm glad they find meaning and purpose in their religions...it's just not for me and I just don't believe it. I believe it is a man made construct which helps us psychologically as a species)

For me, I’m not sure it’s a choice. I have a strong belief in God. I also have free will to ignore Him - and have tried to at various points in my life!

I pray / talk to God often. Outside of formal church it’s more a conversation than the “hands together, eyes closed” prayers of my childhood. For me, His response is an inner voice or instinct. I fairly often get a random ideas about what I “should“ do and I believe that is God. These suggestions can be quite inconvenient but I’ve learned not to ignore them, He has a way of being gently persistent.

Whilst I find some of the church rituals that have been part of my life for all of my life very comforting, I don’t get caught up in the doctrine of any religion. For me, it’s simply a matter of “what would Jesus do?” . There is also much that I don’t claim to understand. Ultimately, it’s a matter of faith not proof.

However, I don't think I would ever be able to believe in a religion that was predicated on concepts like sin, damnation, needing to sign up to something in order to be saved

I think we have to remember that the Scriptures were written ages ago, and not get so worked up about the language or parables used to explain concepts to people at the time.

Also, a lot of posters on MN say that they are comfortable with the principle that actions have consequences, etc. Why are some then so against the idea that good actions will be somehow rewarded?

@Stellaris22

I must admit I'm finding the idea that some view morality as only existing when they believe in God very disturbing.

Why should morality only exist in that way? If you are only being 'good' because of a belief can you really say you are a good person?

Another point someone made to me once which I found interesting is that there are some clear cases of dubious morality in the early books of the Bible (that god seemingly condones). when you ask religious people about these, they find reasons to dismiss them or make a point about a wider/differnt lesson and it not being literal. However, point being, you are clearly using something else, some other criteria, then to select what is 'good' and what is 'bad'. Therefore, if you are able to do that, you are clearly getting your sense of morality and what is good/bad from somewhere else and not from God or the Bible.....so why not cut out the middle man?

I must admit, I view God and religion as a 'middle man'- happy if it helps some people, but do not view it as a necessity to make sense of things

When parents do this, they have to accept that children will most likely end up being atheist. It's very unlikely that they will suddenly become religious when adults spontaneously.

Surely this tells you a lot about the indoctrination of children into religion, that there is a view that becoming religious as an adult isn't likely. We develop the ability to think for ourselves and have independent thought, and have reasoned debates about the existence of God.

I am raising my child to not be religious, but not necessarily atheist (as both parents are) and to make her own choice. Having the choice is very important to me.

FFS, couldn't he have made his own sarnies

Seriously, I think some read too much into this

Having the choice is very important to me

Children will still have a choice, even if they are presented with ideas about religion and spirituality at an early age. If they aren't it's very likely they will be atheists when older. I've seen it many times.

@tangerinelollipop

However, I don't think I would ever be able to believe in a religion that was predicated on concepts like sin, damnation, needing to sign up to something in order to be saved

I think we have to remember that the Scriptures were written ages ago, and not get so worked up about the language or parables used to explain concepts to people at the time.

Also, a lot of posters on MN say that they are comfortable with the principle that actions have consequences, etc. Why are some then so against the idea that good actions will be somehow rewarded?

I think you might be misunderstanding the quote you've posted. Religions like Christianity (not all religions are like this) operate from the starting point of the Fall of Man. We are all inherently bad/sinful as humans and therefore need to be 'saved'/ have a human sacrifice of Jesus whose blood will wash away our sins - but only if you join the club...

I don't think the original comment is talking about good behaviour and bad behaviour or actions or particular language.....it's more the concept that is at the heart of the religion.

And of course, one key concept is this 'club membership' point- you can only be saved if you join, do x,y,z, believe. Just being good alone it is not enough and the Bible makes that clear. it does almost feel as if it were a man made concept by an organisation who wanted power/to control people...(but there I go off on a tangent and that is just my personal belief. I am happy if religion helps some people to be good and make good choices)

I’ve made a conscious choice to practice religion, I suppose. So haven’t made a choice in what I believe, but have made a choice about actively putting that belief into a framework of practice.

I could opt to never go to church or pray again but I’d still believe what I believe, because it’s not something I can switch on or off. When I was younger and considered myself an atheist I couldn’t have just chosen to believe either, even if I desperately wanted to.

@tangerinelollipop

Having the choice is very important to me

Children will still have a choice, even if they are presented with ideas about religion and spirituality at an early age. If they aren't it's very likely they will be atheists when older. I've seen it many times.

So if kids aren't brainwashed to believe in God they tend not to believe in later life?

Funny that.

Was raised in a devout Catholic household, but hypocrisy changed it for me, my father had multiple affairs but always went to confession probably asking to be absolved of his sins and DM forgave him all the time. Was ridiculous and I couldn't buy into the nonsense of it all. I wouldn't necessarily say I'm not religious now but have a very difficult time buying into the requirements and behaviours of religion...I think I still believe but not sure in what