Did you make the choice to be / not be religious?

[the0logical]

Just been reading another thread on here about religion and I always think the theological discussions on here are fascinating.

I'll start - I identify as an athiest, I was brought up in a non-religious family but attended heavily Catholic schools. I didn't like some of the ideologies that became mixed into the religious elements of my schooling (e.g. through correlation or randomness, the most "devout" children were always the most prejudiced) and this pushed me away from entering into any faith. I studied Philosophy & Religion at a higher level and then learned about my perception of fallacies in most major religions, which I couldn't seem to logically support especially when I didn't have any feelings of faith. I've never felt the capacity to let myself be succumbed by a religion, though I have tried - I just don't believe.

So, guess I'm just curious to know some reasons why people are / aren't religious and how much of a "choice" it is. Not a reporter before anyone asks, just a nerd who loves anecdotes especially in a religious debate!

YABU - I made an active choice to become religious, or to become non-religious
YANBU - I didn't make any choice, I have always believed / never believed
(hoping that makes sense!)

I know most people will be moral whether they believe in a God or not, but I guess I just wouldn’t be able to see a reason for that.

Do you mean you wouldn't see a reason for morality without the existence of God?

No, I don't believe it is a choice. I don't believe in God because I can't.

I was brought up without any faith, by an evangelical atheist father and a lapsed Catholic mother. I was always interested in religion and held "church services" in my bedroom every Sunday for a while. Then decided in my teens that it was all bullshit.

I spent the next few years exploring ideas and pondering possibilities. Looked into various other religions as well as Christianity. Then got put off by some over-zealous evangelicals and walked away for fear of ending up like them. I hated their smug certainty and their belief in the superiority of their faith.

A few years later, I was living overseas and started going to a church again. It was a nice, relatively open-minded community and I liked the idea of having a faith. It felt comforting. I went through the motions for a couple of years and ended up getting baptised. Tbh, though, I never fully believed. I wanted to believe, and I prayed to ask God to give me faith, but the more I read and studied, the more acutely aware I became that it didn't stack up. There was so much that didn't make sense. People went through so much mental gymnastics to try to make sense of all the suffering in the world. None of the arguments were logical. Eventually, I realised that I couldn't keep living a lie, and I admitted to myself that I had never really bought into any of it. I loved the idea of believing, I just couldn't manage it in practice.

I stepped away from the church and I wouldn't ever be able to go back. I didn't make a choice not to believe, I just didn't. I remain interested in religion and spirituality, and I think there is a lot of wisdom in things like Buddhism, which focus more on our response to things in this world than finding salvation in the next.

Ultimately, I think there are elements of truth in all religions, but they are all essentially flawed human attempts to make sense of the world around us, to deal with the problem of death, to find comfort in times of adversity, to exert control over those around us and to explain some the challenges that we face. No religion has all the answers, and I don't react well to people who claim they have found the only true path to God, but insofar as they help people to get through life on a daily basis, then I think that's good and I respect the choices that people make.

I couldn't vote as it wasn't a choice, but nor have I always/never believed. I used to be religious, then one day I was walking down the street and suddenly the thought came to me that god wasn't real. It was that sudden. From then on I was an atheist.

I don't believe in any god although I grew up in a Christian family. I realised around the age of 12 that there isn't one, it's just us animals. God felt more like an excuse for people not to take responsibility for their wrongdoings and denying others capabilities, eg cousin Anna and her newborn had god on their side during a risky birth....eh no it was a doctor and midwives, very good ones

I'm agnostic. I'm not sure if that's a choice or not. My parents are both very religious as is my entire family. My son is 6 and he said tonight that he doesn't think God created the earth but that he definitely created the trees haha.

Brought up quite Anglican, as in weekly church and a fairly religious celebration of festivals - pretty normal for the time. But in fact the family is fairly atheist, it's just masked by an absolute passion for choral and religious music and a liking for ritual.

I've had patches of being influenced by more evangelical churches, especially as my brother became an extreme Baptist at 15 - he's slowly mellowed over 4 decades. I also almost converted to Judaism when I married a Jewish man who was practising, but I think my kvetching put him off and he stopped his practice.

The experience of seeing my husband become increasingly mentally ill and then take his own life has killed it all stone dead for me. No religion has any theology of mental illness that makes any sense, except possibly demonic possession, but I refuse to believe that crap. I don't think my husband is in hell because of his suicide, if there is a hell it is what he was living before that. I haven't stepped inside a church since he died except for other people's funerals. The vicar, who is lovely, was useless. Because what could she say? What she did say was quite wrong but it's not really her fault.

We look after each other, and if a church does good things it's because of the people in it. There is no afterlife. I would be grateful for that, if there were anything to be grateful for.

Grateful to!

I was on the other thread and tbh felt so disturbed and unsettled by it. I had/have a born again Christian mother and was swept up with it all in my early teenage years, putting my hands in the air with all the others and attending various events- before realising none of it made any sense and wasn’t for me. And then my mum started telling me I was going to hell and I knew this wasn’t ‘faith’ as it should be.

I was contentedly atheist for many years then met my now DH who was practicing as a Buddhist. I loved the meditation classes etc I went along to but firmly related only to the psychology aspect and not the religious side. But gradually I was won over by the logical arguments. Buddhas are not gods - just someone who has trained their mind to perfection basically, and anyone can attain this. Buddhism is seen as very scientific within the community in that you have to do the experimentation in your own mind and see if you become more peaceful/happier. And then seeing through continued training if this experience grows. It doesn’t make any logical sense then that the mental habits for happiness reach some kind of ‘happiness ceiling’ and not expand. Then there are many teachings about the nature of reality and there was so much more than I thought. Karma and reincarnation are concepts that are challenging for many, but again in each I found logical arguments that convinced me.

Anyway you said you like an anecdote, OP - I can’t really believe I became religious after my terrible experiences of religion as a child, but for me it guides my life in positive ways and is a belief system that has no requirement of me to convince anyone else so that is why it is acceptable to me I suppose. In summary, it wasn’t a choice as such - a choice to explore I suppose but the belief/faith was gradual and still fluctuates, which I think is healthy.

It’s not even a choice for me I just don’t believe in it . I wish I did sometimes as the few religious people I know have almost like a peace about them that something higher is there to guide / help / whatever and I think that must be nice sometimes especially at difficult times

I was brought up Catholic. 2 days before I married DH who was church of England, the priest told me that any children must be brought up Catholic or they will
Die and not allowed to be burried in the graveyard attached to the church.
Not believed since.

Religion was made by men, for men.

So religion's not that relevant in a progressive society imho.

I was raised Catholic, was educated at convents and Catholic schools. Had my Holy Communion but did not have my Confirmation by choice. I see the Abrahamic faiths as misogynist dogma. The Catholic church seems to be brimful of child abusers and I was abused at my Convent by the nuns at primary school. If you give people absolute power through faith, they seem to abuse that power and the Catholic church was all powerful at one point and cast a shadow over many people's lives.

I'm not religious.

I absolutely did not choose to be religious, or non-religious. I was brought up going to Anglian churches, Sunday schools, etc. I never actively felt any kind of belief. Because of my upbringing (religion not forced on me, but seen as natural) I thought I was agnostic. Eventually I decided that was a bit of a cop-out; as in, I'd believe if I was given a reason to believe. Now I'm an atheist, but I'd love to be proved wrong.

Brought up Catholic, sibling and I went to single sex Catholic schools. We were forced to go to Church. I quite like the ritual/ceremony but am deeply sceptical. Mother dear decided in my late teens that she was no longer Catholic and started talking shit about electrical impulses. Probably the drink talking.

I was brought up in a non-religious family and have always been an atheist. There are plenty of reasons to dislike various branches of various religions for things they have done, but that's not why I'm an atheist. It's simply that I find the idea of there being a god (or gods) totally and utterly unbelievable!

Yes OP - I guess I don’t really see a reason for morality if there isn’t God. I know and am grateful that people will still be moral whether they are religious or not and have met kind atheists. But I guess I don’t really see a reason for it - it’s just as reasonable to be mean as kind.

I was brought up in a non-religious family but I'm now a practising Christian. On one level that was my choice, but I'd also say God drew me to him. He made the first move, and I think faith is a gift, not something I decided to have for myself.

I was brought up by catholics in catholic schools but am atheist. Unlike many it’s not the church I have an issue with, I think despite the obvious evils hidden in some church communities, on the whole they can be supportive and important social bonds.
My issue is that I’ve never really been able to believe in god. Any god. From as young as I can remember I’ve just not been able to. No choice.

I received a religious education at school (so not consciously decided to be religious or non-religious when little)

However, I'm immensely grateful for it as, now that I'm much older, I can realise how much religion has helped me during difficult periods in my life.

Personally I think that believing there is a God is as difficult as not believing there is one (and that everything around us is just a product of mere 'chance')

Yes OP - I guess I don’t really see a reason for morality if there isn’t God. I know and am grateful that people will still be moral whether they are religious or not and have met kind atheists. But I guess I don’t really see a reason for it - it’s just as reasonable to be mean as kind.

That is both absolutely fascinating and very disturbing. In a hypothetical situation where we were able to disprove the existence of a God or afterlife (or any kind of religious-based rewards system) how drastically would that affect your actions in a moral context?

While I'm not judging you for your beliefs in the moral sphere and am genuinely appreciative of your honesty, it does worry me that there can be a view that morality is only valid when it is rewarded on some level. I don't personally think that it's just as reasonable to be mean as kind - I try to be kind because I believe people deserve it. While there may always be some deeper self-serving causes for that desire, I know my actions would be unaffected by a disproval of all religion.

@Namenic, do you really believe that? That's one of the most disturbing things I've ever read. I'm assuming that you try to be a good person, so do you mind me asking whether this is because you fear divine punishment or whether it is due to being moved to kindness by God's love? Do you not experience empathy, or have a conscience?

He made the first move, and I think faith is a gift, not something I decided to have for myself.

Could I ask, if it's not too personal, what that first move was?

I also think that some get too worked up or disillusioned by The Church, not realising that it's just an institution run by people (who obviously at times can make mistakes) - this is valid for any religion

But what's really important are the core teachings (as someone said upthread - morality, compassion, the sense that you are not alone in life, etc).

@Namenic

Yes OP - I guess I don’t really see a reason for morality if there isn’t God. I know and am grateful that people will still be moral whether they are religious or not and have met kind atheists. But I guess I don’t really see a reason for it - it’s just as reasonable to be mean as kind.

So you’ll only behave well if there’s a divine carrot and/or stick? Doesn’t that suggest that atheists are more sophisticated and adult in their thought processes, when they act fairly and charitably with no hope of a divine reward or fear of eternal punishment?

Die and not allowed to be burried in the graveyard attached to the church

This is an example of what I mean. Sure, a priest probably making a poor judgement call, but it's no reason (IMO) not to believe in God or become an atheist