To wonder whether the increase in teen anxiety is the result of

[ivegotmyteddybear]

Fewer sah parents and more nursery when small?

I'm genuinely NOT being goady. It's an opinion I hold, and would like it to be challenged.

@Adirondack

My dd was in nursery from 11 months. I felt guilty but had to work full time financially. Fast forward to her starting reception... she and her peers who had been to nursery sailed thru the transition. The kids who’d been at home with sahms? Not so much. The sahm kids (even those who had been to preschool and had siblings at home) cried more, were less independent with things like toileting, dressing, eating. They were less good at independent working, and they struggled with sharing and taking turns. The teacher and TAs really commented on how the kids who’d been at nursery were much better prepared and ready for school.

How do you know all this?

The teacher and TA told me, when I had a meeting with them about dd. Obv in general terms not mentioning individuals! They just mentioned what they’d observed about reception children in general.

All my friends are working mums and I don’t know one single 1 year old that went to nursery 50 hours a week

I work with children and I think some SAHP think that in itself is enough and don’t do enough with their children, letting them watch too much tv, not talking to them enough. Just because a parent is a SAHP doesn’t mean their child is automatically benefitting. Just like there are working parents who I see make the most of time at home and give their children their time and effort when with them.

Good parents are good parents, regardless of whether they work or not.

@Adirondack

My dd was in nursery from 11 months. I felt guilty but had to work full time financially. Fast forward to her starting reception... she and her peers who had been to nursery sailed thru the transition. The kids who’d been at home with sahms? Not so much. The sahm kids (even those who had been to preschool and had siblings at home) cried more, were less independent with things like toileting, dressing, eating. They were less good at independent working, and they struggled with sharing and taking turns. The teacher and TAs really commented on how the kids who’d been at nursery were much better prepared and ready for school.

I am a teacher and have noticed this but also have noticed some children of SAHP who you can see have had high quality, focused attention and it’s obvious when teaching the child.

Teacher was very unprofessional to say this and it’s a sweeping statement and isn’t true for all children. Just because they are initially more independent doesn’t mean their better. Some working parents assume Nursery will do everything and do very little. It’s about the parent investing enough time and energy into their child, whether they work or not.

Babies/preschoolers benefit from attachments to several adults. It's a damaging myth that they don't.

Good parents are good parents, regardless of whether they work or not.

This.

And although I would say that good parents are a necessary condition of good mental health, they are not a sufficient condition. There are so many other factors involved.

@GettingUntrapped

Babies/preschoolers benefit from attachments to several adults. It's a damaging myth that they don't.

Some babies/toddlers need to be with other adults to actually learn, be exposed to more than the little they’re exposed to at home.

@OverTheRainbow88

All my friends are working mums and I don’t know one single 1 year old that went to nursery 50 hours a week

I know at least three.

@GettingUntrapped

Babies/preschoolers benefit from attachments to several adults. It's a damaging myth that they don't.

Babies and preschoolers are completely different things

I work with children and I think some SAHP think that in itself is enough and don’t do enough with their children, letting them watch too much tv, not talking to them enough

Nice bit of SAHM bashing. Why can't women just support each other?

as a teacher, I would say social media- but not the 'I have to look like this or else I am a failure' type (this does have it's place) but the sharing of dramatic, polarised news - clickbait headlines taken as fact- this is what I fight the most oftne- kids coming to school " Miss we all have to do XXX now"
Then I have to unpick it, tell them it was a misleading headline and not entirely true- but it makes us all feel unsettled, and assaulted. I would liken it to propaganda now- it's not news anymore

Some babies/toddlers need to be with other adults to actually learn, be exposed to more than the little they’re exposed to at home.

We were fortunate enough to have a mixture of dh and I on tag team, combined with the most amazing nanny. We only used nursery when dd was a bit older and we wanted her to have the social contact.

I firmly believe that dd benefited immeasurably from having me, dh and the nanny as her 3 caregivers, as we each brought different strengths and different ways of interacting. For example, I was always very cautious and paranoid about her hurting herself, whereas dh and the nanny were able to let her explore her environment more boldly. DH was allergic to any kind of messy play, whereas nanny and I were more relaxed about it. We each brought something different to the table, and I think dd benefited from having a much more balanced experience in those early years than she would have had with a single sahp.

@CateTown

I work with children and I think some SAHP think that in itself is enough and don’t do enough with their children, letting them watch too much tv, not talking to them enough

Nice bit of SAHM bashing. Why can't women just support each other?

I specifically didn’t use the term SAHM but SAHP and I said ‘some’ think that by being at home that is enough. Just like in a further post I said ‘some’ working parents think nursery can do everything. As I said earlier, good parents are good parents regardless of working or not. I think some people just like being offended!

@AlexaShutUp

Some babies/toddlers need to be with other adults to actually learn, be exposed to more than the little they’re exposed to at home.

We were fortunate enough to have a mixture of dh and I on tag team, combined with the most amazing nanny. We only used nursery when dd was a bit older and we wanted her to have the social contact.

I firmly believe that dd benefited immeasurably from having me, dh and the nanny as her 3 caregivers, as we each brought different strengths and different ways of interacting. For example, I was always very cautious and paranoid about her hurting herself, whereas dh and the nanny were able to let her explore her environment more boldly. DH was allergic to any kind of messy play, whereas nanny and I were more relaxed about it. We each brought something different to the table, and I think dd benefited from having a much more balanced experience in those early years than she would have had with a single sahp.

When I say ‘little at home’ I’m talking specifically about those families who don’t do anything with their children. Unfortunately I see this now and again at work.

I specifically didn’t use the term SAHM but SAHP

The majority will be mums, so it doesn't matter if you put P instead of M.

@CateTown

I specifically didn’t use the term SAHM but SAHP

The majority will be mums, so it doesn't matter if you put P instead of M.

So on a thread about childcare, I say some SAHP aren’t involved enough (and same for some working parents) but I shouldn’t post that opinion?! Be a parent who can’t be bothered with your child but don’t worry about it because we shouldn’t ‘bash’ each other 🤔 No, let’s focus on what actually happens in some cases and the affect on the children.