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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Houseshare problems - tenant's new boyfriend refuses to leave

647 replies

FirstAvenue · 15/03/2021 16:05

Name changed, looking for advice here. I'll try not to go into too much detail.

I own a five bedroom house in a town a fair distance away and I let out four bedrooms under Assured Shorthold Tenancy Agreements. It's an all female house as I have found that way it is generally easier to manage from a distance.

I do everything as professionally as possible, I advertise empty rooms, take references from applicants, tell them the house rules and give the tenants a proper tenancy agreement which states that they have exclusive use of their bedroom and shared use of the communal areas.

One of the House rules states: "Your room is for single occupancy only and boyfriends / girlfriends etc. should only really stay every other weekend." Now it's not that I am a prude, it's just that I have learnt from previous bad experiences that the house becomes overcrowded and untidy and generally starts to smell if the house is over-occupied. It's very hard to let a room if the house smells.

One of the girls, let's call her Ann, got a new boyfriend about six months ago and recently he appears to have "moved in". She says he has not and that she is aware of the house rules, but he is "always there" despite him living nearby. Unfortunately it is not just a case of staying in her room, he seems to spend most of the time watching TV in the living room and has even set his laptop up in the kitchen.

One of the other girls, let's call her Betsy, has complained about his continued presence. Betsy says that she took the house on the basis that it was girls only, and that she feels uncomfortable with him being in the house all the time in his dressing gown.

I've asked Ann to stick to the house rules and to make sure he only stays ever other weekend, and she has at various times in the last two weeks a) denied that he stays there in the week, b) says he does stay over sometimes but the other girls don't mind, or c) says that he is her partner and she wants him to stay as much as possible. It is clear that she is not telling the truth.

Betsy however made a further formal complaint to me last Tuesday, and after a number of texts and phone calls to Ann during which time the boyfriend did not depart, last Friday I had to write an email to Ann asking her to make sure that house rules are obeyed and that her boyfriend only stays two nights a fortnight. I did not get a reply.

Betsy went away for the weekend but when she arrived back last night the boyfriend was there and he was still there this morning. She is now dreading going back home this evening, and it is my understanding that he has now stayed there for 11 consecutive nights. Betsy is now asking me what she should do if he is still there this evening.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to resolve this?

OP posts:
rwalker · 15/03/2021 16:45

You need to step up as LL and go round and ask him to leave even if it means you going everyday thats your job as LL

GreyhoundG1rl · 15/03/2021 16:45

Just tell Ann to move on Confused. Really wondering why this isn't your first response.

HeyDemonsItsYaGirl · 15/03/2021 16:45

Support Betsy and do whatever you can to get the twat out. For goodness sake, this is why not anybody should be allowed to be a landlord.

Clarinsmum · 15/03/2021 16:47

I hope your property is properly licensed and insured as an HMO, if it isn’t I’d be very careful about who you involve in this.

Blacktothepink · 15/03/2021 16:49

He’s basically living rent free...give him a bill and tell them both to leave.

Viviennemary · 15/03/2021 16:49

Give her notice to leave. Say the bf is no longer allowed to stay overnight. This is a fairly common problem in student houses.

Felifox · 15/03/2021 16:49

Posted too soon.
I would have an informal chat with your other two tenants and ask if they would agree to temporarily banning overnight visitors due to Ann's taking the proverbial.
I would report him to the police and get them to ask him to leave as another female tenant is uneasy with him there.

I get that it's a journey for you so you can't keep popping over

user1471538283 · 15/03/2021 16:49

Ann and her boyfriend leave as she has broken the agreement. If you do not Betsy will soon leave

GoddessKali · 15/03/2021 16:52

I’d email Ann and let her know he’s barred from the house and if he steps foot in the house the police will be called!

Bunnyteam · 15/03/2021 16:55

I would put a ring camera on the door so that you see who is coming in and out and then issue Ann a notice to leave

HarmonyHedges · 15/03/2021 16:56

The police are not going to do anything about this. The boyfriend is there at the invitation of a resident.

Lockheart · 15/03/2021 16:58

Could everyone stop saying to call the police? They are not a private bouncer service to be called whenever there's a minor dispute. And if you call them citing "safety concerns" you risk being done for wasting police time.

He is not trespassing, he is there at the invitation of one of the other tenants. "House rules" are not enforceable in law. Landlords can not, generally, legally mandate visiting hours in contracts.

Anne and her boyfriend are being antisocial twats, but it is not a police matter.

The only thing you can do OP is to give Anne her notice. You could let the tenants know you'll be doing an inspection at some point very soon and take the opportunity to have a chat with Anne in person then (as well as the boyfriend if he's got the brass bollocks to be there during said inspection) and make it clear in no uncertain terms that he can't stay permanently.

That said, you have no right to insist that he only comes around every other weekend. Once or twice a week is perfectly reasonable to see your boyfriend / girlfriend. 11 consecutive days is taking the piss.

Lockheart · 15/03/2021 16:59

@GoddessKali

I’d email Ann and let her know he’s barred from the house and if he steps foot in the house the police will be called!
Under what laws? This is not enforceable and is not a police matter.
willibald · 15/03/2021 16:59

Anti-social behaviour is exempt from the 6 month rule. I'd get her served. I'd go round there myself to make sure Betsy is safe and kick the boyfriend out. She's broken the terms of the tenancy. A Ring for the door is a good idea.

Eckhart · 15/03/2021 17:00

@HarmonyHedges

The police are not going to do anything about this. The boyfriend is there at the invitation of a resident.
OP doesn't have to say what the Police will do. Just that she's going to report it.

It will help Ann to understand that this won't just be overlooked, especially if it's delivered with notice for breach of contract.

Lockheart · 15/03/2021 17:00

@user1471538283

Ann and her boyfriend leave as she has broken the agreement. If you do not Betsy will soon leave
"House rules" are separate from contracts and are not legally enforceable.
cerseii · 15/03/2021 17:02

Give her notice ASAP

Raise her rent due to the 2nd person increasing bills

If Betsy wants to leave her contract early, let her without penalty

cerseii · 15/03/2021 17:02

You need to personally tell the bf to leave btw

Lockheart · 15/03/2021 17:03

@cerseii

Give her notice ASAP

Raise her rent due to the 2nd person increasing bills

If Betsy wants to leave her contract early, let her without penalty

You can't just raise someone's rent. There are these little things called contracts...
littlefireseverywhere · 15/03/2021 17:04

I agree, poor Betsy needs to feel comfortable at in her own house. I totally agree there's a huge difference between EO weekend and every night. Can you camp out?

Bananalanacake · 15/03/2021 17:06

When I was a lodger in a young couple's home their rule was 'all visitors to be off the premises by 10PM' of course this translates as 'no visitors staying overnight at all'. I was very happy with this, at the time I had an older boyfriend who was unbearably shit in bed, I'd have made that rule up if it didn't exist.

womanity · 15/03/2021 17:07

Are you certain this doesn’t count as anti-social behaviour?

Otherwise, if covid stops you evicting her, use the covid rules against them. His visits are illegal under covid rules.

cerseii · 15/03/2021 17:08

True

It’s just that I would have thought the boyfriend would be responsible for some costs. Any house I rented would have required extra rent/bill contribution to cover him, or he would be given his own tenancy

JustLyra · 15/03/2021 17:09

Calling the police just because he is there isn't an option. He's there at the invitation of a resident so is not breaking any laws.

The only time the police can be called is if Betsy feels under threat by him, or Ann, at any point.

Rent can't simply be put up, nor can he be charged bills (and nor would you want to charge him anything that could constitute an agreement to be there).

Issuing notice to Ann will show all of the tenants that you are taking it seriously.

You really need to go round there in person.

How many tenants are living there at the moment @FirstAvenue?

JustLyra · 15/03/2021 17:10

@cerseii

True

It’s just that I would have thought the boyfriend would be responsible for some costs. Any house I rented would have required extra rent/bill contribution to cover him, or he would be given his own tenancy

Giving him his own tenancy would mean he has the right to be there.

And any costs for overnight guests etc would have to be in an original contract and agreed beforehand.

Landlords can't just start charging tenants and their guests for things mid way through contracts, for good reason.

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