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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Houseshare problems - tenant's new boyfriend refuses to leave

647 replies

FirstAvenue · 15/03/2021 16:05

Name changed, looking for advice here. I'll try not to go into too much detail.

I own a five bedroom house in a town a fair distance away and I let out four bedrooms under Assured Shorthold Tenancy Agreements. It's an all female house as I have found that way it is generally easier to manage from a distance.

I do everything as professionally as possible, I advertise empty rooms, take references from applicants, tell them the house rules and give the tenants a proper tenancy agreement which states that they have exclusive use of their bedroom and shared use of the communal areas.

One of the House rules states: "Your room is for single occupancy only and boyfriends / girlfriends etc. should only really stay every other weekend." Now it's not that I am a prude, it's just that I have learnt from previous bad experiences that the house becomes overcrowded and untidy and generally starts to smell if the house is over-occupied. It's very hard to let a room if the house smells.

One of the girls, let's call her Ann, got a new boyfriend about six months ago and recently he appears to have "moved in". She says he has not and that she is aware of the house rules, but he is "always there" despite him living nearby. Unfortunately it is not just a case of staying in her room, he seems to spend most of the time watching TV in the living room and has even set his laptop up in the kitchen.

One of the other girls, let's call her Betsy, has complained about his continued presence. Betsy says that she took the house on the basis that it was girls only, and that she feels uncomfortable with him being in the house all the time in his dressing gown.

I've asked Ann to stick to the house rules and to make sure he only stays ever other weekend, and she has at various times in the last two weeks a) denied that he stays there in the week, b) says he does stay over sometimes but the other girls don't mind, or c) says that he is her partner and she wants him to stay as much as possible. It is clear that she is not telling the truth.

Betsy however made a further formal complaint to me last Tuesday, and after a number of texts and phone calls to Ann during which time the boyfriend did not depart, last Friday I had to write an email to Ann asking her to make sure that house rules are obeyed and that her boyfriend only stays two nights a fortnight. I did not get a reply.

Betsy went away for the weekend but when she arrived back last night the boyfriend was there and he was still there this morning. She is now dreading going back home this evening, and it is my understanding that he has now stayed there for 11 consecutive nights. Betsy is now asking me what she should do if he is still there this evening.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to resolve this?

OP posts:
TheOriginalMrsMoss · 15/03/2021 17:45

OP - are you a member of the NRLA? If not and you are managing an HMO then I'd recommend you join ASAP. They have an online and telephone helpline and will provide you with legally accurate, up-to-date information on how best to handle this. HMO's come with lots of legal responsibilities and it's important that you handle this correctly.

As a PP said, if he's there most of the time you have unwittingly got 5 people living there and that takes you into a different level of licensing and responsibilities in terms of health and safety and fire compliance.

SoulofanAggron · 15/03/2021 17:46

I don't think many people would be happy with only having their boyfriend over every other weekend, but you make the rules.

If it really says 'should only really' in the rules, I'd change that to something concrete, so there's no room for argument.

fridgepants · 15/03/2021 17:50

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the user's request.

iwishiwasatcentralperk · 15/03/2021 17:51

I second the advice above to join NRLA, it's under £100 and you will get proper advice on the situation.

However, if she has moved him in, then she has clearly breached the terms of her tenancy. I would get the advice from NRLA and then give Anna notice in the proper fashion, which is 6 months at the moment.

If Anna doesn't like the rules she shouldn't have moved in .

fridgepants · 15/03/2021 17:56

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the user's request.

willibald · 15/03/2021 17:59

Got sick of having housemates like GetOff and their fucking boyfriends and girlfriends. It's not matter of policing adult relationships, it's about how many people are occupying the property, which can effect the licensing of it.

It's one other body in the house, using the bathroom, the kitchen, in the living room.

I then went for shares that were no overnight guests until I was able to get my own bedsit to rent. Even though my rent took up more of my income, no annoying flatmates and their shag partners.

PawPawNoodle · 15/03/2021 18:00

What on earth is a 'house rule'? Are you letting your home out as a boarding school for 16 year olds?

It's either on the tenancy or its not. If its not on the tenancy agreement, you're SOL. Even if there is a clause in the tenancy about guests, it would likely be considered unenforceable, so you'd be SOL.

Slippy78 · 15/03/2021 18:01

6 months notice is only required for AST's. Even though that's what you said you gave them (a poor idea on your behalf) it isn't actually the case.

As you live in the property then legally they aren't AST's, just permitted occupancy (lodger) agreements which only require the notice that's written in them.

You made a mistake by telling them that they had an AST but luckily for you your mistake isn't legally binding.

What notice period is stated in their contracts?

oil0W0lio · 15/03/2021 18:03

One of the House rules states: "Your room is for single occupancy only and boyfriends / girlfriends etc. should only really stay every other weekend
are these rules legally enforceable though?
it seems as if your role is more 'parent' than landlord here?

NoSquirrels · 15/03/2021 18:04

@Slippy78

6 months notice is only required for AST's. Even though that's what you said you gave them (a poor idea on your behalf) it isn't actually the case.

As you live in the property then legally they aren't AST's, just permitted occupancy (lodger) agreements which only require the notice that's written in them.

You made a mistake by telling them that they had an AST but luckily for you your mistake isn't legally binding.

What notice period is stated in their contracts?

OP doesn't live in the property, though. So they have ASTs in an HMO.
Slippy78 · 15/03/2021 18:06

Sorry, ignore my post. I misread your OP and thought that they were all sharing the house that you lived in.

justwant2beamum · 15/03/2021 18:06

Serve Ann notice and report Ann and the bf for breach of covid rules if he's coming and going.

PhatPhanny · 15/03/2021 18:06

Ban the boyfriend from the house and give Ann notice.
You don't want this kind of person in your house anyway, a blatant disregard to your property, if she doesn't like it she needs to rent sole use.

oil0W0lio · 15/03/2021 18:07

@SoulofanAggron

I don't think many people would be happy with only having their boyfriend over every other weekend, but you make the rules.

If it really says 'should only really' in the rules, I'd change that to something concrete, so there's no room for argument.

If I had a landlord who told me I couldnt have guests in my own home (because if I pay the rent that makes it my home) I think I'd just humour them and wonder if they thought they were my mum or something!
TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 15/03/2021 18:07

Are Ann and her boyfriend not breaking lockdown rules? He is not part of the "household"
Just report them? It ratchets up quickly after the first offence.

PhatPhanny · 15/03/2021 18:08

Are you able to attend the property daily?

missbridgerton · 15/03/2021 18:09

You need legal advice. And fast.

Chances are that he's moved in.

SoulofanAggron · 15/03/2021 18:10

If you have friends in the area, get one to go round and remind Ann and her boyfriend of the rules and say you know what's been going on.

ManyBags · 15/03/2021 18:13

Prescribe when the tenants are allowed to have guests, monitor them with CCTV and call the police Confused

Are you running an HMO or a day release prison?

boredbuttercup · 15/03/2021 18:13

If I had a landlord who told me I couldnt have guests in my own home (because if I pay the rent that makes it my home) I think I'd just humour them and wonder if they thought they were my mum or something!

This. It's like the one housemate at uni who always set 'house rules' (rules that they'd decided on and just tried to impose on everyone else in the house throughout the year). I'd humour them because I can't be bothered with conflict but legally they have no standing and its my home too, I won't tolerate their control freak ways. It might be your property but it's their home, you don't get a say on visitors. Really this is a problem that needs solving between the tenants. You can give Ann notice as her behaviour has led to other tenants complaining but beyond that there's not much else. Please don't go wasting police time or do anything illegal like trying to raise ann's rent as you only put yourself in a worse position here. Imagine if every landlord thought they had a right to say when tenants could have visitors and for how long, there'd rightly be outrage.

NoseinBook3 · 15/03/2021 18:14

You probably need to go in person

Chewbecca · 15/03/2021 18:16

One of the House rules states: "Your room is for single occupancy only and boyfriends / girlfriends etc. should only really stay every other weekend."

Change this rule to ‘must not’. Your current rule is not sufficiently direct.

oil0W0lio · 15/03/2021 18:16

I think OP is a wannabe head prefect🤣🤭

GetOffYourHighHorse · 15/03/2021 18:18

'Are you running an HMO or a day release prison?'

Grin

It's crazy isn't it, all these posters saying oo call the police or evict Anne. Just get a grip op, I'm sorry for Betsy but I bet she is never going to settle in a houseshare. Make them clean their house if it smells, don't be this bizarre housemaster from a previous century.

oil0W0lio · 15/03/2021 18:18

Are you running an HMO or a day release prison?
a day release prison where you have to pay for being in prison!🤣