Houseshare problems - tenant's new boyfriend refuses to leave

[FirstAvenue]

Name changed, looking for advice here. I'll try not to go into too much detail.

I own a five bedroom house in a town a fair distance away and I let out four bedrooms under Assured Shorthold Tenancy Agreements. It's an all female house as I have found that way it is generally easier to manage from a distance.

I do everything as professionally as possible, I advertise empty rooms, take references from applicants, tell them the house rules and give the tenants a proper tenancy agreement which states that they have exclusive use of their bedroom and shared use of the communal areas.

One of the House rules states: "Your room is for single occupancy only and boyfriends / girlfriends etc. should only really stay every other weekend." Now it's not that I am a prude, it's just that I have learnt from previous bad experiences that the house becomes overcrowded and untidy and generally starts to smell if the house is over-occupied. It's very hard to let a room if the house smells.

One of the girls, let's call her Ann, got a new boyfriend about six months ago and recently he appears to have "moved in". She says he has not and that she is aware of the house rules, but he is "always there" despite him living nearby. Unfortunately it is not just a case of staying in her room, he seems to spend most of the time watching TV in the living room and has even set his laptop up in the kitchen.

One of the other girls, let's call her Betsy, has complained about his continued presence. Betsy says that she took the house on the basis that it was girls only, and that she feels uncomfortable with him being in the house all the time in his dressing gown.

I've asked Ann to stick to the house rules and to make sure he only stays ever other weekend, and she has at various times in the last two weeks a) denied that he stays there in the week, b) says he does stay over sometimes but the other girls don't mind, or c) says that he is her partner and she wants him to stay as much as possible. It is clear that she is not telling the truth.

Betsy however made a further formal complaint to me last Tuesday, and after a number of texts and phone calls to Ann during which time the boyfriend did not depart, last Friday I had to write an email to Ann asking her to make sure that house rules are obeyed and that her boyfriend only stays two nights a fortnight. I did not get a reply.

Betsy went away for the weekend but when she arrived back last night the boyfriend was there and he was still there this morning. She is now dreading going back home this evening, and it is my understanding that he has now stayed there for 11 consecutive nights. Betsy is now asking me what she should do if he is still there this evening.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to resolve this?

@DorisLessingsCat

Regardless of the new agreement, trust me when I tell you that you should still give Ann notice. She's broken the tenancy rules and lies to your face.

Agree- this will not be seen as kindness. It will be seen as weakness.

@FirstAvenue

Not the best twist, but Ann, Charlotte and Daisy have got together with some proposed amended house rules. They are happy to agree that guests can't spend time in the communal areas. That way Betsy avoids direct contact with any male guests and hopefully feels less uneasy in her own home. Ann has again confirmed to me that her boyfriend lives elsewhere and works elsewhere and won't be staying overnight during the week.

Ann has already lied numerous times.

How is her BF going to avoid the communal areas? What about the bathroom? What about making food?

You do realise you've basically just sanctioned him moving at least at weekends which means you now have 5 tenants and need to review your HMO license and your insurance asap?

Not the best twist, but Ann, Charlotte and Daisy have got together with some proposed amended house rules. They are happy to agree that guests can't spend time in the communal areas. That way Betsy avoids direct contact with any male guests and hopefully feels less uneasy in her own home. Ann has again confirmed to me that her boyfriend lives elsewhere and works elsewhere and won't be staying overnight during the week.

I feel really sorry for Betsy.

OP having been a tenant in same situation - please stick to your guns and do the right thing by Betsy. Ann is pushing your limits and it is not fair on you or other tenants. What is the point of having tenancy agreements if you can be "walked over" so readily?

Ann's got a bloody nerve... Wow.

Well, if you don't give her notice, op, you can't say you weren't warned.

@SoulofanAggron

Not the best twist, but Ann, Charlotte and Daisy have got together with some proposed amended house rules. They are happy to agree that guests can't spend time in the communal areas. That way Betsy avoids direct contact with any male guests and hopefully feels less uneasy in her own home. Ann has again confirmed to me that her boyfriend lives elsewhere and works elsewhere and won't be staying overnight during the week.

I feel really sorry for Betsy.

Agreed. I hope that Betsy finds another place asap where she feels safe and that the OP allows her to move with no notice. It's the least she can do.

I wouldn't be happy with that if I were Betsy. In fact I'd be contacting the LL and telling them that if they wanted to keep having a tenant who paid on time and abided by the house rules that the LL established, the LL had better get the finger out and do something about Ann.
In fact @FirstAvenue, why haven't you done anything about Ann? Why haven't you given her notice? It's your house. Why have you let it get to this stage. It's not on for Ann, Charlotte and Daisy to effectively gang up on Betsy or to arbitrarily change the house rules to suit them. Again, it's your house.

That's a terrible update, OP, and sounds like B is being ganged up on if the others are agreeing things without her.

And A is already lying to you so I'm not sure why you'd trust her word.

So... Anne has lied to you repeatedly, broken the rules of the house AND covid restrictions... And now she's decided she can dictate you changing the rules!?! Whose house is this OP!? Honestly, serve notice. She sounds like the kind of person who is used to getting her own way and has no regard for other people.

I think that's really unfair on Betsy. She moved in to a female household, for what ever reason, so she shouldn't have to put up with changes that aren't agreed by her also.

Despite their proposed rule changes he's hardly never going to make a cup of tea or cook and eat, and if he's been doing so in his robe he, hardly shows respect for the women who pay the rent. He must be aware how uncomfortable he's making her? He's also still going to be using the bathroom which she may not be comfortable with.

In addition to this your bills will be higher with the extra person being there constantly.

Stop emailing and go around to the house tomorrow to reinforce the rules that they all agreed to when they moved in. She can go and stay at his if she can't bear to be parted from him.

Agreed. I hope that Betsy finds another place asap where she feels safe and that the OP allows her to move with no notice. It's the least she can do.

If this constitutes a change to the agreed tenancy contract, then I would think Betsy could not only move out without any repercussions (legally speaking), but could possibly even claim any expenses incurred (maybe including hotel costs until she finds a new place).

OP- you are letting them bully Betsy, and it is totally out of order.

Ann needs to go. Is her boyfriend really not going to use the bathroom or kitchen?

Someone suggested upthread using an agency. I think maybe this is a good idea. I've had a number of landlords over the years and they are hard as nails. I'm a good tenant by the way, but none of my landlords would have stood for any shit. I don't mean to seem rude, but maybe you don't quite have the right personality for this. I know I don't! Maybe it would be better to use an agency to help you deal with these kinds of problems. Either that or you need to harden up because you are always going to have problems with tenants that need sorting.

You already know he's stayed for 11 consecutive nights, op. Do you really believe he hasn't taken a shower?
Maybe you should give Ann a rent reduction; she's effectively taken over the running of the house for you.

I would agree he shouldn't be there during lockdown, however normally you cannot dictate every other weekend etc , your tenants have the right to have visitors upto three nights a week.

@Mally2020

I would agree he shouldn't be there during lockdown, however normally you cannot dictate every other weekend etc , your tenants have the right to have visitors upto three nights a week.

There are no set rules or laws on rights to visitors.

You can’t do anything as a landlord . Betsy should find somewhere to rent on her own. You can give her notice but that’s it. I’m laughing at all the people telling you to go around and tell them off. It doesn’t work like that. I’d allow Betsy to leave without having to give notice if she wanted to move.
The law is on Ann’s side regardless of what Betsy would like to happen.

I actually think this is appalling, especially given recent goings on, Betsy is being taken the complete piss out of, and you have let her down massively.

Four women in this scenario - and one man - OP you are failing to do what is right by the very "rules" that you saw as important for a safe and easy tenancy!

Jeez, OP, you're not supporting Betsy. Stop making excuses and support this woman.

Presumably it is an HMO OP if you have 4 girls there. How many can you actually have before it's overcrowded? Sounds like Charlotte and Daisy want to move their boyfriends in too.

You're handling this terribly and putting the needs over a man you don't know before a woman who you've signed a legal contract with and have an obligation to protect.

Please step up and put women first.

Poor Betsy

@billypopop

Covid rules are your friend here. He is breaking lockdown. Report him

This.

I have looked at the government guidelines, and they aren't very clear.

I would call the police 101 (non emergency) number and ask for advice (which would also usefully bring it to police attention without it being drama), because you have a situation where one tenant in an HMO is unilaterally bringing someone from another household into the house, and it really isn't clear if the remaining four tenants are also allowed to bring in people from four other households, because that would make a nonsense of the covid regulations.

Also mention that it's an all-female household, the tenants moved in knowing that to be the case, and one of those tenants is extremely anxious about this man being there all the time, and has made repeated pleas to you as the landlord to do something about it. Now, normally the police couldn't give a shit about women's needs, but this may be a moment where they may feel obliged to take action.

Yeah it’s not easy being a LL with tenants, but then there’s the right thing to do.
Check Covid law’s for LL’s, if nothing there then at the least give “Ann” notice.
It’s the right thing now for everyone including you OP, they are trying to run you.