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Original poster

Houseshare problems - tenant's new boyfriend refuses to leave

647 replies

FirstAvenue · 15/03/2021 16:05

Name changed, looking for advice here. I'll try not to go into too much detail.

I own a five bedroom house in a town a fair distance away and I let out four bedrooms under Assured Shorthold Tenancy Agreements. It's an all female house as I have found that way it is generally easier to manage from a distance.

I do everything as professionally as possible, I advertise empty rooms, take references from applicants, tell them the house rules and give the tenants a proper tenancy agreement which states that they have exclusive use of their bedroom and shared use of the communal areas.

One of the House rules states: "Your room is for single occupancy only and boyfriends / girlfriends etc. should only really stay every other weekend." Now it's not that I am a prude, it's just that I have learnt from previous bad experiences that the house becomes overcrowded and untidy and generally starts to smell if the house is over-occupied. It's very hard to let a room if the house smells.

One of the girls, let's call her Ann, got a new boyfriend about six months ago and recently he appears to have "moved in". She says he has not and that she is aware of the house rules, but he is "always there" despite him living nearby. Unfortunately it is not just a case of staying in her room, he seems to spend most of the time watching TV in the living room and has even set his laptop up in the kitchen.

One of the other girls, let's call her Betsy, has complained about his continued presence. Betsy says that she took the house on the basis that it was girls only, and that she feels uncomfortable with him being in the house all the time in his dressing gown.

I've asked Ann to stick to the house rules and to make sure he only stays ever other weekend, and she has at various times in the last two weeks a) denied that he stays there in the week, b) says he does stay over sometimes but the other girls don't mind, or c) says that he is her partner and she wants him to stay as much as possible. It is clear that she is not telling the truth.

Betsy however made a further formal complaint to me last Tuesday, and after a number of texts and phone calls to Ann during which time the boyfriend did not depart, last Friday I had to write an email to Ann asking her to make sure that house rules are obeyed and that her boyfriend only stays two nights a fortnight. I did not get a reply.

Betsy went away for the weekend but when she arrived back last night the boyfriend was there and he was still there this morning. She is now dreading going back home this evening, and it is my understanding that he has now stayed there for 11 consecutive nights. Betsy is now asking me what she should do if he is still there this evening.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to resolve this?

OP posts:
inmyslippers · 15/03/2021 19:58

I'd get the ball rolling on notice and let the other tenants know to help ease things

StellaDendrite · 15/03/2021 20:01

.

PatsyStone39 · 15/03/2021 20:01

Trigger warning. For the people not understanding where Betsy is coming from - a friend of mine's daughter was raped while she slept, by the boyfriend of a roommate. The man then proceeded to try and murder her by smothering her with a pillow. The commotion woke the roommate who saved her, yet later went on to marry the man! My friend's daughter lost everything. Her home, her career (she moved several hundred miles back home to her Mum), her friends....

Everyone should be safe in their own home.

Sacredspace · 15/03/2021 20:03

I’m also a landlord. It’s very difficult to evict a tenant during the pandemic unfortunately.

murbblurb · 15/03/2021 20:04

Everyone should indeed be and feel safe in their own home. Unfortunately rental law in England does not allow the landlord to take any action that will have any effect for at least six months. Possibly much longer.

Ann is a tenant and has very strong rights. Even tenants that breach agreements ( if they are enforceable) have very strong rights.

I'd love to hear Shelter's take on this ....

user1486131602 · 15/03/2021 20:04

Give Ann a notice to leave. It shouldn’t take long as she has clearly not abided by the rules, therefore has broken her contract. Ask Betsy to put her complaint in writing so you can use it to get Ann out.

murbblurb · 15/03/2021 20:05

Argh!!! Makes no difference!! No evictions possible!!

cansu · 15/03/2021 20:05

I think this idea of only having someone stay over once every two weeks seems very old fashioned and frankly incompatible with normal life. If the boyfriend was essentially living there then yes, you might suggest that as he isn't a tenant, he isn't entitled to be there. The thread is long, but other than Betsy not liking him being around that much there does not seem to be any great digression. Why not get the tenants together to discuss what would be a suitable compromise for the remainder of Ann's tenancy? Could he not use the communal spaces such as the lounge/kitchen etc? All the call the police suggestions are ridiculous. The police would not be interested in whether someone's boyfriend stayed over unless said boyfriend was being violent or aggressive.

cuparfull · 15/03/2021 20:08

Why is Betsy having to do all the hard work? Why is she not being supported by the other housemates? Ann needs to be told by them all.
Boundaries need to be respected.
It is supposed to be an all female household.

If a bloke turns up you would expect him to stay in his partners room not loiter about in the kitchen in a dressing gown.
I wouldn't want men in an all female space had I signed up specifically to avoid that.
I am a landlord and I would be going into my property with some heavies and chucking him out and personally handing Ann notice for breach of contract.

cuparfull · 15/03/2021 20:11

And make sure you keep everything in writing. Sometime a standard solicitors letter will suffice to show your intention to enforce the terms of the lease.

GreyhoundG1rl · 15/03/2021 20:11

@cansu

I think this idea of only having someone stay over once every two weeks seems very old fashioned and frankly incompatible with normal life. If the boyfriend was essentially living there then yes, you might suggest that as he isn't a tenant, he isn't entitled to be there. The thread is long, but other than Betsy not liking him being around that much there does not seem to be any great digression. Why not get the tenants together to discuss what would be a suitable compromise for the remainder of Ann's tenancy? Could he not use the communal spaces such as the lounge/kitchen etc? All the call the police suggestions are ridiculous. The police would not be interested in whether someone's boyfriend stayed over unless said boyfriend was being violent or aggressive.
How is it incompatible with normal life? These people have chosen to live in an all female house share. Even were it not all female; having overnight guests in any house share is a bit crap for the other tenants. Why should your friends get to use the communal facilities you're all paying for? Ann needs to get a studio bedsit, not a house share.
JustLyra · 15/03/2021 20:12

@user1486131602

Give Ann a notice to leave. It shouldn’t take long as she has clearly not abided by the rules, therefore has broken her contract. Ask Betsy to put her complaint in writing so you can use it to get Ann out.
The reason for giving a tenant notice makes no difference to the length of that notice.

Atm it will be at least 6 months before the OP can force an eviction.

willibald · 15/03/2021 20:17

MC people Pearl clutching about a young woman who due to financial situations needs to be in a house share daring to have a sex life.

We don't know the women's ages. They could all be in their 30s or older. You can have a sex life without moving your bloke into a houseshare with nothing more than a two fingered salute it's my way or the highway fuck you if you don't like it.

Ann and the shag are pisstaking mo' fo's.

Hated having flatmates for winding up with selfish bastards like these people.

ConsuelaHammock · 15/03/2021 20:17

There’s not much you can do as a landlord. We had a tenant who moved in her new boyfriend, his mother, his three children, two dogs and a snake during lockdown. Thankfully they have now left as they were offered social housing.
Give the eviction notice but be prepared to take her to court if she doesn’t want to go or if she wants to hang on for social housing .

SoulofanAggron · 15/03/2021 20:18

It is unreasonable to expect house shares to be single sex 100% of the time unless you only let to anti-social homosexuals with no friends or unless you only let to one person.

@Lockheart No-one is necessarily expecting it to be 'no entry' at all times to men, just that rules were set about roughly how much there would be blokes around, which all agreed to follow.

Having a house share that is for women only tenants is not uncommon.

WhereYouLeftIt · 15/03/2021 20:18

"She says he has not and that she is aware of the house rules, but he is "always there" despite him living nearby."

He lives nearby. So why is Anne & boyfriend not at his? I already know the answer - it's a shit-tip / he lives with his parents. - But I'd still be putting the question to her, to emphasise that she's CHOOSING to make her housemate uncomfortable rather than go to his.

And I'd be serving notice - today.

boredbuttercup · 15/03/2021 20:19

Why is Betsy having to do all the hard work? Why is she not being supported by the other housemates? Ann needs to be told by them all.

Because Betsy is the one bothered by this and the other housemates either aren't bothered by it or even if they are a little bothered think it isn't worth the conflict and better to keep the peace (as is the same when considering bringing up all housemate issues from washing up to noise)

*Boundaries need to be respected.
It is supposed to be an all female household.
*
Yes boundaries do need to be respected but some people have unreasonable housemates (like one I once had who wanted to know where the rest of us were going whenever we left the house to the point of essentially want to track us because it made her feel safer and more in control). There are 2 sides to every story (although yes Ann does sound inconsiderate in this instance). It's also all female residents but OP even said in her house rules (which aren't legally binding anyway) that partners are allowed to stay so it's still not exclusively female all the time.

*If a bloke turns up you would expect him to stay in his partners room not loiter about in the kitchen in a dressing gown.
*
Yes I actually agree this is Grim and they should be mostly in her room and if they are in communal spaces together appropriately dressed. But although this is a shitty thing to do it's not illegal and doesn't warrant police involvement.

I wouldn't want men in an all female space had I signed up specifically to avoid that.

Again, even in OP's unenforceable rules it still doesn't keep it an exclusively all female space

I am a landlord and I would be going into my property with some heavies and chucking him out and personally handing Ann notice for breach of contract.

And you'd be acting illegally, harassing and intimidating your tenant and I'd hope they'd report you for using 'heavies' to intimidate them. Although yes you'd be well within your right to give Ann notice and I agree this is what OP should do, without the intimidation.

BlackCatShadow · 15/03/2021 20:20

I don't think this is down to what Betsy thinks or whether the other flatmates approve or not. Ann is breaking her tenancy agreement by having a guest regularly stay over. I agree with the others that you need to sort this out. I think you need to give Ann notice asap and remind her that she needs a reference so needs to behave herself for the notice period.

billypopop · 15/03/2021 20:20

Covid rules are your friend here. He is breaking lockdown. Report him

GreenlandTheMovie · 15/03/2021 20:20

Serve notice on Anna anyway, even though you can't enforce it yet. She has had enough chances.

Then write to her pointing out that not only will she not get a reference for her next move, you will sue her for any loss of rental income from other tenants moving out as a result of her breach of the lease terms. Also start billing her for extra costs, such as wear and tear and the cost of having to write to her and issue her with various warnings.

If Betsy does move out, make sure you get it in writing from Betsy that this was the cause.

If you have 5 people living in an HMO licensed for 4, this is a criminal offence. You could contact the HMO Unit at your local authority and see if they have any advice.

MoreTreesPleaseBob · 15/03/2021 20:20

I would absolutely face time Betsy tonight and get her to show him on camera if she can, all she has to do is tap the camera to turn it and make it look like she is the one on screen when really it is him. Easy to do.

I would serve Ann notice, is she moving into another rented place or buying? If rented surely she needs a reference from you about her conduct.

clarehhh · 15/03/2021 20:20

Boyfriend can’t visit due to COVID rules anyway so breaking the law.

Sittingonabench · 15/03/2021 20:24

You need to go and ask him to leave in person. This shows your unhappy tenant you will address the problem. If he is there when you arrive you need to tell the tenant that she is infringing the terms of her tenancy and you are giving her formal notice. Tell her that if he refuses to leave you will call the police. Explain this isn’t something you want to do but that the rules are in black and white in the tenancy agreement and they are purposefully breaking them. Tell all tenants that you will be arranging a locksmith to provide locks on their room doors. You need to take action even if it isn’t going to take immediate effect as it isn’t going to get any better.

Borntohula · 15/03/2021 20:24

@cansu

I think this idea of only having someone stay over once every two weeks seems very old fashioned and frankly incompatible with normal life. If the boyfriend was essentially living there then yes, you might suggest that as he isn't a tenant, he isn't entitled to be there. The thread is long, but other than Betsy not liking him being around that much there does not seem to be any great digression. Why not get the tenants together to discuss what would be a suitable compromise for the remainder of Ann's tenancy? Could he not use the communal spaces such as the lounge/kitchen etc? All the call the police suggestions are ridiculous. The police would not be interested in whether someone's boyfriend stayed over unless said boyfriend was being violent or aggressive.
I agree, it seems a bit controlling to ban someone's partner from staying over.
FortniteBoysMum · 15/03/2021 20:24

You tell Ann that due to not following the rules you are serving notice for her to leave the property. Or you give her a warning that if she does not follow the rules she will be evicted. Point out there is no reason she cannot stay at her boyfriends. That is assuming his not litterally moved in. In which case you definitely give notice.