Houseshare problems - tenant's new boyfriend refuses to leave

[FirstAvenue]

Name changed, looking for advice here. I'll try not to go into too much detail.

I own a five bedroom house in a town a fair distance away and I let out four bedrooms under Assured Shorthold Tenancy Agreements. It's an all female house as I have found that way it is generally easier to manage from a distance.

I do everything as professionally as possible, I advertise empty rooms, take references from applicants, tell them the house rules and give the tenants a proper tenancy agreement which states that they have exclusive use of their bedroom and shared use of the communal areas.

One of the House rules states: "Your room is for single occupancy only and boyfriends / girlfriends etc. should only really stay every other weekend." Now it's not that I am a prude, it's just that I have learnt from previous bad experiences that the house becomes overcrowded and untidy and generally starts to smell if the house is over-occupied. It's very hard to let a room if the house smells.

One of the girls, let's call her Ann, got a new boyfriend about six months ago and recently he appears to have "moved in". She says he has not and that she is aware of the house rules, but he is "always there" despite him living nearby. Unfortunately it is not just a case of staying in her room, he seems to spend most of the time watching TV in the living room and has even set his laptop up in the kitchen.

One of the other girls, let's call her Betsy, has complained about his continued presence. Betsy says that she took the house on the basis that it was girls only, and that she feels uncomfortable with him being in the house all the time in his dressing gown.

I've asked Ann to stick to the house rules and to make sure he only stays ever other weekend, and she has at various times in the last two weeks a) denied that he stays there in the week, b) says he does stay over sometimes but the other girls don't mind, or c) says that he is her partner and she wants him to stay as much as possible. It is clear that she is not telling the truth.

Betsy however made a further formal complaint to me last Tuesday, and after a number of texts and phone calls to Ann during which time the boyfriend did not depart, last Friday I had to write an email to Ann asking her to make sure that house rules are obeyed and that her boyfriend only stays two nights a fortnight. I did not get a reply.

Betsy went away for the weekend but when she arrived back last night the boyfriend was there and he was still there this morning. She is now dreading going back home this evening, and it is my understanding that he has now stayed there for 11 consecutive nights. Betsy is now asking me what she should do if he is still there this evening.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to resolve this?

@19lottie82

Would it help if you had some sort of mediation session between Ann and Betsy?

I know that Betsy is 100% in the right, but as already discussed you can’t throw Ann out right now, so you’re going to have to help build an agreement between them.

No because Anna are told the LL point blank that the boyfriend was not leaving (he's probably homeless).

No. The op and Betsy need to accept adults in a houseshare should be perfectly able to have their girlfriends/boyfriends stay over. As I say it was the norm in my student days none of this 'not allowed' stuff.

absolute selfish guff. What if Betsy has a history of problems with men and looked for a female house share especially.
It's people like you that really make the world a shit place for so many women.

Nice idea but you really can't put tenants under surveillance it's illegal.

And thank god it's illegal! It's not a nice idea. It would just be another way for the rich to morally and literally police the poor.

That's what a lot of this thread seems to be. MC people Pearl clutching about a young woman who due to financial situations needs to be in a house share daring to have a sex life.

It is shit for Betsy but part of living in House shares is navigating different personalities and ways of life. All these suggestions of surveillance or going round to intimidate Ann are really quite scary and have no regard for tenants rights against harassment from landlords.

I think you need to get some legal advice here. I highly doubt your house "rules" are even legally enforceable with the type of contracts you use. Sadly I think this is just going to have to be a lesson for you about short hold tenancies for a multi occupant house. Even if you give Ann 6 months notice , she can refuse to leave and you would have to go to county court or even the high court to get a possession order with enforcement agents required to actually physically remove her. I hope it doesnt come to this but it is a reality you may have to be prepared for.

@SchadenfreudePersonified Betsy does have the right to live in any situation she wishes, but unfortunately when you're sharing an HMO that's entirely unenforceable legally. Landlords may prefer to rent to women only (like OP does) but there is absolutely nothing to stop them renting a room to a man if they decide. An HMO is not a single-sex enclave.

Anne is unreasonable to have her boyfriend around so much if it is making others uncomfortable, and would be unreasonable to move him in, but she wouldn't be unreasonable to have him as an occasional visitor.

Is your house a Multi Tenancy Occupancy?
and is he covered by insurence?

@boredbuttercup

Nice idea but you really can't put tenants under surveillance it's illegal.

And thank god it's illegal! It's not a nice idea. It would just be another way for the rich to morally and literally police the poor.

That's what a lot of this thread seems to be. MC people Pearl clutching about a young woman who due to financial situations needs to be in a house share daring to have a sex life.

It is shit for Betsy but part of living in House shares is navigating different personalities and ways of life. All these suggestions of surveillance or going round to intimidate Ann are really quite scary and have no regard for tenants rights against harassment from landlords.

It's got absolutely fuck all to do with Ann having a sex life.

It's about her moving in another person to the house without consultation with ,or consent of, the other tenants of the landlord.

Increasing the number of people living there could have serious legal repercussions for the OP due to the legislation around HMO's and numbers of tenants.

@boredbuttercup

And thank god it's illegal! It's not a nice idea. It would just be another way for the rich to morally and literally police the poor.

I was being sarcastic.

For the rest of your post, if you live in a house share you should abide by the rules of the tenancy and not piss off your housemates. Moving in a boyfriend is selfish. People have little personal space as it is without someone else colonising common rooms when they're not even paying towards rent or bills. Ann is a CF and needs to find a different place to live.

@Brefugee

No. The op and Betsy need to accept adults in a houseshare should be perfectly able to have their girlfriends/boyfriends stay over. As I say it was the norm in my student days none of this 'not allowed' stuff.

absolute selfish guff. What if Betsy has a history of problems with men and looked for a female house share especially.
It's people like you that really make the world a shit place for so many women.

It is unreasonable to expect house shares to be single sex 100% of the time unless you only let to anti-social homosexuals with no friends or unless you only let to one person.

Ann's boyfriend is clearly over far too much, but there's nothing wrong with reasonable visiting. As antisocial as she is, it's Ann's home as well as Betsy's.

How bold is Betsy? Tell her to walk around in her skimpies and sit on bf's knee and stroke his face and so on. See how Ann likes that.

Seriously, folk. So much outrage on MN everytime a transwoman wants to use a locked toilet stall, but Betsy must put up with a strange man in her living space?

That's what a lot of this thread seems to be. MC people Pearl clutching about a young woman who due to financial situations needs to be in a house share daring to have a sex life.

WTF! This isn’t about stopping someone from having a sex life (Ann could go to his and have him over every other weekend) it’s the fact he has practically moved in, isn’t paying rent and the house was meant to be a female only house and now Ann is lying about him being there.

You can’t just invite someone to come and stay with you for the majority of the time when you are in rented accommodation.

All you can do is give Anne notice surely? Betsy and the other housemates need to have a conversation with Anne and say they don’t want the boyfriend there.

It’s ridiculous for Betsy to be messaging you asking you to tell the boyfriend to leave. She’s an adult and she needs to have a conversation with her housemate. She wouldn’t call you if some one was using her milk from the fridge, and ask you to tell them to replace it surely?

As an adult living with other adults, they need to discuss issues as a household. Anne needs to be given notice by you, but that’s as far as you can or should go

but there is absolutely nothing to stop them renting a room to a man if they decide

Well no, but OP hasn't rented the room to a man, it has been rented to a woman, who has part of her tenancy agreement agreed to just have partners over every other weekend, as is the norm for houseshares. I don't think it's anything to do with having a sex life either, it's to do with a bloke doing as he pleases in the communal areas of the house.

OP it's a shit situation, and I feel for you as it's not easy to mediate. Houseshares are different to rentals as you do have the others to consider, and the part about only having partners x numbers of nights a fortnight has been the same wherever Ive house shared so you've been reasonable there, but not sure how you can enforce it. You could give notice, it is 6 months but at least the ball will be rolling, and Ann can find accomodation suitable for her and her partner in that time.

OP you need to talk to Ann - if she doesn’t abide by rules given in writing evict her.
The landlordzone is a useful forum with lots of people who know their stuff, post there, someone will be able to help.

It’s ridiculous for Betsy to be messaging you asking you to tell the boyfriend to leave. She’s an adult and she needs to have a conversation with her housemate. She wouldn’t call you if some one was using her milk from the fridge, and ask you to tell them to replace it surely?

I disagree. It is in the landlords interest as it's in the tenancy agreement, and it's not a dispute over milk. Presumably Betsy has spoken to Ann, or doesn't feel comfortable doing so which is fair enough; therefore the landlord should get involved in dealing with the housemate who has moved in without permission imo.

If Ann’s partner was female would that make it all ok?

Also it’s not about men vs women, it’s the right of residency. It would as much of a problem if someone moves their mother/sister best friend in.
Not only is this costing the OP more in bills - but if everyone did that the property would be overcrowded which is illegal.

@ManyBags

If Ann’s partner was female would that make it all ok?

No, Anne should still be given notice. But that is all the OP can or should do

“Also it’s not about men vs women, it’s the right of residency. It would as much of a problem if someone moves their mother/sister best friend in.”

This exactly.

If Ann’s partner was female would that make it all ok?

For Betsy it might if she needs to be in a female only household but not for OP as the rules are still getting broken.

Go round and tell him to leave. What a piss taker 'Ann' is. You should have nipped this in the bud ages ago op. Not fair at all on the others.
And give Ann her notice too.

@ManyBags

If Ann’s partner was female would that make it all ok?

Nope.

It would still have the possibility of landing the OP in the shit regarding licensing and number of tenants in her HMO.

It would also still be unfair on the other tenants to effectively move a fifth person in without any discussion or agreement.

That’s exactly what I’m getting at. The law doesn’t distinguish between tenants in that way