To not want a cat

[UpstairsDownstairsAndInBetween]

We have one already so I am probably BU. She is gorgeous, very sweet. But I don't want a cat. DH said they do their own thing, not like a dog. He lied. It's like having another toddler.

My DC has only recently started sleeping through in their own room and now instead I get woken by the cat at 5.30 every morning instead, meowing to announce that she has done a poo.

It's me that ends up feeding her, cleaning the litter tray, letting her in and out of the house because we don't have a cat flap and installing one would mean replacing the door. DH just leaves the back door open so we all freeze. She's not cheap either, having had 2 vets visits already and she's not even a year old.

The cat is very needy and likes to be with us when she's in the house, doing what cats do... sitting on my laptop when I'm trying to work, swatting my headphone lead, climbing the curtains when we are trying to sleep, ripping the furniture to shreds instead of the scratching pole, stealing my DCs soft toys and ripping them apart (yes she has her own toys but you know how it is, someone else's toys are always much more interesting). I've lost count of how many of my clothes have been snagged by the cat's claws.

I can't go out of the front door unless she's shut in a room in case she runs out of the front (we are on a main road). Having tradespeople in the house is a pain because the bloody cat is always in the way or they leave the front door open. The final straw is I want to redecorate some of the house but can't face the prospect of the cat stepping in the paint tray.

I know it's not the cats fault but AIBU?

Whos idea was it to get a cat in the first place? Yours or DH? If it was DH.. I'd put ALL cat responsibility back to him. And I would lock the cat downstairs at night, no way should you put up with being woken up by a cat! Our cat is locked downstairs at night for exactly this reason!

Oh dear don't think i read the post correctly i thought ops husband was wanting another cat Regarding the correct post your husband should be the one looking after kitty seeing as he wanted the cat. They do tend to settle pretty quickly though as they get older. Maybe put the cat in another room at night if you can to stop the early morning cat calls?

They do mellow down op, lockdown I've learnt how little my cat does. When she was young she was a killing machine, out all hours then bringing home half dead offerings. Fast forwards several years later, she gets up to eat then goes back to sleep

Our cats sleep in the conservatory at night in a series of cardboard boxes lined with blankets. They don't wake us up at night. We just let them out in the morning. Shut the cat in a room at night with its bed and litter tray and don't let it out until you are up and about. Take charge!

YABU. She’s under a year old, she’s still a baby.
From about 18 months old, they chill out a lot.
I have 4 cats (2x 6 year olds, 1x 4 year old and a 10 month old kitten). Yeah, the kitten is NUTS and very needy but my older girls just chill out and snooze 90% of the time and just want to cuddle the other 10%.

Gets a cat
Is annoyed it acts like a cat
Is also annoyed it can't go outside when the door is open despite getting a cat while you live in a location that isn't suitable for outdoor cats

YABU, OP. Get a cat flap at the back. They chill out after about 2 years old. Shut her in a room when tradies are over/you're decorating like anyone else with a cat does.

I would never get 2 cats; they are very territorial and most (but not all) will tolerate another cat maybe but never be truly happy with another.

Why don’t you train your cat? Cats are like dogs in the sense that positive reinforcement and treats will work in the same way. It may take longer but will work. Our cat can sit, give her paw, turn off lights, come to command, walk on her lead, spin and turn and will understand a lot of what we say. Clicker training and treats will work. We live on a main road too so don’t have a cat flap as I like her in the house at peak traffic flow times.

Get an automatic food bowl that opens at sunrise and sunset (cats are diurnal so this is the time they would usually be most active and hunting) and do you do any types of mental stimulation with her? She may be bored if you aren’t playing with her. We have marble runs, climbing frames and things that help her to use her brain as well as physically tiring her out. The laser toys were always used well and the tunnels. She may just be very bored if you aren’t providing any sort of stimulation for her?

Our cat - who I love very much - is a complete pain in the arse looking for her breakfast in the morning if she is left with the run of the house. So we shut her in the kitchen when we go to bed, with her bed (that she does actually sleep in) and she is good as gold until the first person up. She has a litter tray, dry food, and water in there, but she just sleeps. Similarly, if we have a tradesperson in, we shut her out of where he or she is working - partly because she would definitely get down the hole under the boiler or whatever because she is so nosy!

We don't have a cat flat as we have a utility room between the kitchen and the back door. It means someone has to let her in/out, which can be a pest in summer when she is in/out like a bloody yoyo, but actually I prefer knowing she is always in overnight, and in normal times when we go to work she is in during the day too. She doesn't tend to use the litter tray unless it's absolute dire straits, but tbh I just see that as part and parcel of having a pet - some of it will be shit.

Per pp, I've trained her to do various things, much like a dog. She is very food motivated, so it was really easy. DP said it wasn't possible to train a cat, so I was determined to prove him wrong!

You need to get a cat flap (that problem is if your own making if you won't get it a door you need to expect to up and down like a yo yo letting it in and out).

And shut the cat downstairs at night if it's waking you. If it has a litter tray I'm not sure why it's waking you to do a poo?

It will calm down a lot as it gets older. My adult cat is asleep most of the time.

Took 10 years before my cat slept through the night!

...was all this a surprise to you? I can’t understand what your expectations were of having one, I wouldn’t have one because I can’t stand any cat behaviours and am utterly uninterested in them.
Keep it indoors, and garden only, to prevent it being at risk of traffic/poisoning/torture/getting stuck/being attacked, decimating native species/shiteing all round itself, obviously.

And..er..enjoy? I suppose. Your animal doing basic, normal cat stuff. Maybe do a bit of research before getting the next animal.

I wouldn’t get a second in your situation plus cats don’t always like a second cat in the mix.

Don't get another cat, they don't like living with other cats unless they're mother/child or siblings.

Get a cat flap so that you don't have to do the litter tray or let her in & out. And make your family help more!

Dd has 2 small children (baby, toddler), and started out with one cat that she declared an utter dick! She now has 2 small children... And 4 cats that are all total dicks 😁

I adore cats, but they are hard work. Don't get a second if you're struggling with one. One of the most stressful times of my life was introducing my sister's kitten to my cat when I was a teen.

(having said that, all the other stressful times of my life, my cats have been an immense comfort, so I wouldn't be without them!)

I was going to suggest that getting a second cat might actually help your problem, but from what other posters have said, maybe not if they have not grown up together. We have a set of littermates and they really do entertain each other. We get very little meowing or destructive behavior.

We do shut our cats into the utility room at night to keep them out of mischief, even though there is not a cat flap in there (they go outside in the daytime, but I don’t want them roaming at night getting into fights and bringing home rodent gifts). We’ve done it since they were young kittens, and they don’t seem to mind as they have their beds, food, water, toys, litter box, and each other in there. Maybe you could give the cat a designated nighttime space so you don’t get the 5am poo wake up call?

You shouldn't need a new door for a cat flap. We had one put in a wood & glass panelled back door. Is there a window at the back you can leave ajar instead when you're home so she can come & go? She'll calm down with more outside time & as she gets older.