To not want a cat

[UpstairsDownstairsAndInBetween]

We have one already so I am probably BU. She is gorgeous, very sweet. But I don't want a cat. DH said they do their own thing, not like a dog. He lied. It's like having another toddler.

My DC has only recently started sleeping through in their own room and now instead I get woken by the cat at 5.30 every morning instead, meowing to announce that she has done a poo.

It's me that ends up feeding her, cleaning the litter tray, letting her in and out of the house because we don't have a cat flap and installing one would mean replacing the door. DH just leaves the back door open so we all freeze. She's not cheap either, having had 2 vets visits already and she's not even a year old.

The cat is very needy and likes to be with us when she's in the house, doing what cats do... sitting on my laptop when I'm trying to work, swatting my headphone lead, climbing the curtains when we are trying to sleep, ripping the furniture to shreds instead of the scratching pole, stealing my DCs soft toys and ripping them apart (yes she has her own toys but you know how it is, someone else's toys are always much more interesting). I've lost count of how many of my clothes have been snagged by the cat's claws.

I can't go out of the front door unless she's shut in a room in case she runs out of the front (we are on a main road). Having tradespeople in the house is a pain because the bloody cat is always in the way or they leave the front door open. The final straw is I want to redecorate some of the house but can't face the prospect of the cat stepping in the paint tray.

I know it's not the cats fault but AIBU?

My older cat took a while to accept two kittens that we added, but he is now much happier than he was when he was an only cat. He plays a lot with one of the others in particular and is much less needy on us now. I am aware that not all cats accept each other, but they are more likely to accept another kitten whilst still young themselves.

@TheQueef

Cats are pricks. But YABU it's their job.

Why would anyone want a prick for a pet?

YANBU because cats are awful antisocial creatures and they smell

Some cats are antisocial and some cats smell.

I ask myself this every day Kev still can't work it out.
I've got three, they are all pricks.
still want three more

I play with my cat for atleast 20/30 minutes with a wand toy before bedtime so that she sleeps through (11pm-7am). She is good as gold.

Cats are definitely less needy than dogs but cats also still need attention and play time!

It really depends on a cat. Mine is really placid and joy to have around. He doesn't cost me much either. Seriously a cat doesn't have to be that hrs, maybe it's a wrong cat for you.

@MsFrog

It's fine to change your mind about wanting a cat now you see the reality of having one is different to what you expected. It's just an animal, not a child - re-home it if you aren't happy. The cat will get over it in 5 in minutes and you won't have to put up with it for 15 more years.

As someone who has fostered many do not "get over" being abandoned. You are ridiculous.

OP your cat is doing what cats do. YABU. Why don't people think about if they have the right attitude before they commit it's not difficult.

Not sure what the AIBU is, are you just venting? If yes that’s perfectly fine of course, but so would be livid at DH who wanted the cat and now does fuck all. I would be having stern words with him doing his bit and not just leaving the back door open.

I agree with many PP, a cat flap would really solve all your problems... also get proper insurance is vets visits are expensive. I pay £5 a month with no excess so unless yours has pre-existing conditions, not sure why it needs to cost this much?

I agree with many PP, a cat flap would really solve all your problems..

How does it solve the problem of OP’s DH never feeding her or changing the litter tray?

Plus OP says a cat flap would mean a new door.

SHE DOESN'T WANT ANOTHER CAT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SHE REGRETS GETTING THE ONE SHE ALREADY HAS !!!!!!!!!!

I am not sure how OP though the whole cat ownership thing would work without the cat being able to get out when it wanted so a cat flap is pretty essential in this scenario.

When you get a rescue cat the rescue places go through all this with you.

YANBU. It's all normal cat behaviour. If your DH was persuasive that you should get a cat and he wasn't realistic about the problems then insist that he does at least half the cat care now. And that he installs a new (back) door with a catflap.

Do not get another cat. They don't necessarily get on and if you're already having problems with one then two are a lot harder to keep an eye on and keep out of trouble. I had siblings and I was fond of them both but my life got a lot easier after one died.

@CatOnAHotTinHoof

SHE DOESN'T WANT ANOTHER CAT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE REGRETS GETTING THE ONE SHE ALREADY HAS !!!!!!!!!!

Errrr....

THAT’S NOT WHAT SHE’S PUT!!!!!!! SHE WROTE...

“The thought of another cat in the mix is terrifying. What if they don't get on? Imagine the vet (and food/litter) bills.”

CAN WE STOP SHOUTING NOW????

"Some cats are antisocial and some cats smell."

Unless you keep it indoors all of the time and therefore prevent it going onto other people's property then its antisocial.

I've never been in a house that has cats that doesn't smell, litter trays smell, cat fur smells. The owners can't smell it always but believe me, it smells.

I’ve had cats all my life. All cats have different personalities, some are lovely, some are pricks, just like people.

This sounds like a cat that would be happy being an outdoor cat living as an indoor cat? I know it can’t because of where you live, but it’s sounding like she’s trying to amuse herself best she can within the perimeters she’s given..

@DavidsSchitt

"Some cats are antisocial and some cats smell."

Unless you keep it indoors all of the time and therefore prevent it going onto other people's property then its antisocial.

I've never been in a house that has cats that doesn't smell, litter trays smell, cat fur smells. The owners can't smell it always but believe me, it smells.

You are obviously a huge cat lover and expert...

Get a cat flap-it will make things so much easier. We’ve had them put into wooden stable doors, UPVC doors and even a pane of glass! What sort of door have you currently got?

Replace the door, add a cat-flap, enjoy your lie-in.

@mollypuss1 that was in reply to the suggestion another poster made to get another cat, in the OP they are talking about the existing cat only.

OP if you are still about if you repost in Litter Tray topic you'll get some helpful suggestions.

Oh and tell your partner the litter tray is his job from now on. Sounds like you have enough on your plate!

If you fit the cat flap the litter tray could go outside too.

@Grumpyoldpersonwithcats

I'd get another cat. They'll keep each other amused.

That's exactly what people say about children and that never works either!

"You are obviously a huge cat lover and expert..."

You are obviously sarcastic and correct on your second observation