Why do people need to show off gifts on Facebook?

[1AngelicFruitCake]

I don’t get it. Lovely seeing photos of people with Mums, messages etc. But why brag ‘I’ve been spoilt with my many presents’ then post photos of them? It just screams ‘Look at me!’ which I know Facebook is all about that but come on, it’s so needy!

YABU-people should put photos of their presents
YANBU-there’s no need to post photos of your presents

When I see a happy photo from a friend, I am happy for them!

What's that got to do with someone boasting?

However, any thread about money on here also attracts the 'but you're obviously jealous/envious' replies,so there's evidently a group of people in society who think that everyone must think they're awesome, want to be like them. They're probably in for a shock if they realise that isn't the case.

nice little dig, but as we are talking about photos posted by OTHERS it doesn't quite work does it

My friends photos of their gifts today has no impact or reflection on my own bank account or social status (sadly 😂 )

@burgerjack

When I see a happy photo from a friend, I am happy for them!

What's that got to do with someone boasting?

YOU call them boasting.

It's a bit sad...

Someone being happy doesn't equal boasting. If someone posts a photo of 10 handbags why would I assume they were happy?

It's a bit sad...

I agree

There's something about social media that seems to really push some people's buttons and where the default reaction of anything other than praising online content equals being jealous, bitter or a sign someone needs to get off social media.

Yes I find the narrative strange particularly when AIBU thrives on judgement!

@burgerjack

Someone being happy doesn't equal boasting. If someone posts a photo of 10 handbags why would I assume they were happy?

I don't have friends posting photos of 10 handbags, that's the point.

Why would I, if it just made me bitch about them?

Nor do I doesn't mean people don't & I can't comment on it.

Are you not aware of any of the chat about the impact of sm on mental health?

nice little dig, but as we are talking about photos posted by OTHERS it doesn't quite work does it
It's the same sort of worldview though.
There is a view that some have where if someone mentions bragging then they're jealous, if someone says something less than positive when someone is ok about money then they're envious.

I was brought up with the view that it's not the done thing to be showy with gifts or money so find it funny to think that for some the default position if anyone comments negatively on showing off gifts/money is "you think talking about lots of gifts and money isn't the done thing, so you must be bitter/jealous/envious". That's a really unusual view to me because it seems to rest on the fact that some people assume others must be looking at them and thinking gosh wow, I wish I was like them, I wish my husband was as nice, I wish i had those gifts.

@BashfulClam I’ve been in this position too..

“Why do you post so much? No one cares what you’re doing”

Well you seem to care to bring it up and constantly read?

OP. I initially agreed with your post, I think people can be a bit braggy when it comes to gifts and occasions but then it’s not hurting anyone so just scroll past - however your response to Bashful had made me realise that your actually just a very spiteful, nasty and judgmental person. For you it’s not about people bragging, you just want someone and something to bitch about. Or perhaps you’re so green with envy you can’t possibly keep it classy and just ignore it, you decide to thrash people on the internet. Well done you. Bet you feel really big and clever.

Problem is that "showy" and "boasting" are quite subjective.

On long weekend in Paris. Posts few pics of crepes and obviously Eiffel tower.

For some it's "oooh, nice". For others it's more into "stop fucking showing off" territory.

Imho the way which the opinion swings is based on 1-how do you like that person and 2-your current situation. Same with any post, really.

[quote LifesLittleDeciders]@BashfulClam I’ve been in this position too..

“Why do you post so much? No one cares what you’re doing”

Well you seem to care to bring it up and constantly read?

OP. I initially agreed with your post, I think people can be a bit braggy when it comes to gifts and occasions but then it’s not hurting anyone so just scroll past - however your response to Bashful had made me realise that your actually just a very spiteful, nasty and judgmental person. For you it’s not about people bragging, you just want someone and something to bitch about. Or perhaps you’re so green with envy you can’t possibly keep it classy and just ignore it, you decide to thrash people on the internet. Well done you. Bet you feel really big and clever.[/quote]
Ok I’m not sure who you’re quoting but I didn’t say any of that! My reply to bashful I’ll try and quote (I’m not great at that!)

BashfulClam
I have people like you. It is their page and they can post whatever they want. I was bullied at work and she used things I’d posted on Facebook ‘you don’t need to post what the weather says we all have windows and our own apps! It’s just fucking sad!’ Since then I post whatever the hell I want and if you don’t like it you don’t have to read the post or follow that person.
I feel sorry for you, to read one post and ‘hate’ ‘people like me’ just because I don’t like show offs. I don’t comment on weather, plates of food, pets, children etc as it’s their page and if I do it’s to say something positive. Desperate photos of ‘look how much I’ve got’ is completely different.

Snooze for 30 days - this really comes in handy with those types.

Couldn’t quote but where it starts ‘I feel sorry for you’ is my reply. Not sure why that inspired you to say what a horrible person I am

No OP, you’ve read my comment wrong; the first bit with the quotes was something I’ve had said to me by someone not on Facebook; by a work colleague (old job)

SchrodingersImmigrant
True.
My take is whether it would translate well into a conversation with the people I'm friends with.

Would I talk to my friends about the fact I'd been on a holiday? Probably, so the likelihood is that a post about a holiday isprobably not going to be considered braggy by most people I'm friends with.

Would I give a lengthy monologue about how great my DH is, how he's the best hubby, how he spoils me rotten and then list all my gifts? No, so a photo of all my gifts presented to show them all plus a comment about why DH is the best is probably a bit braggy on social media.

Would I say DC made me a card and we went out for the day on Mother's day in normal offline conversations? Probably, so even though I probably wouldn't post a photo of DC's card, it's unlikely to come across as braggy to my friends even if I did.

It depends on your friends though. I've had work friends with very different social norms in their group and judging by the comments from their other friends, the lots of gifts/new car/DP is the best posts are considered run of the mill stuff.

I posted a photo of my breakfast in bed with homemade cards and little gifts because it was a happy thing. I didn't share a pic of the diamond pendant DH gave me for Christmas as I think that's a bit crass. But it's not a crime to do either. There's not much to feel happy about at the moment so why not celebrate the good things?

@burgerjack

Nor do I doesn't mean people don't & I can't comment on it.

Are you not aware of any of the chat about the impact of sm on mental health?

what does it have anything to do with anything?

If you feel too fragile for the mere inkling of happiness, it's on you to be away from SM.

What friend do you think you are if people feel they have to actively HIDE any mention of something that you would judge "boastful" or "braggy"? . You will make a MIL from heaven some day

My social media would be dreadfully boring if friends couldn't post holiday photo because WE are on lockdown here, or something a bit cheerful.

Out of curiosity, are flowers received while in hospital called "braggy", or acceptable if they are under a certain cost? Is it just presents that are "braggy"?

plus I was raised to know that anyone mentioning the word "classy" or the expression "not the done thing" in public is rather vulgar but with very big aspirational taste

“I feel sorry for you to hate people like me just because I don’t like show offs”

Was not just “I feel sorry for you” it was a comment made to make bashful feel like they’re not allowed to justify disliking the judgmental people like yourself, and to make them feel like shit.

I don’t know what’s eating away at you; but if your going to act bitter at least own it and don’t try and sugar coat your own quotes.

@LifesLittleDeciders

No OP, you’ve read my comment wrong; the first bit with the quotes was something I’ve had said to me by someone not on Facebook; by a work colleague (old job)

Ok in that case your comment of ‘you’re a nasty, spiteful, judgemental person’

because I posted

I feel sorry for you, to read one post and ‘hate’ ‘people like me’ just because I don’t like show offs. I don’t comment on weather, plates of food, pets, children etc as it’s their page and if I do it’s to say something positive. Desperate photos of ‘look how much I’ve got’ is completely different.

is baffling to me why that caused you to spout such venom.

@SchrodingersImmigrant

Problem is that "showy" and "boasting" are quite subjective.

On long weekend in Paris. Posts few pics of crepes and obviously Eiffel tower.

For some it's "oooh, nice". For others it's more into "stop fucking showing off" territory.

Imho the way which the opinion swings is based on 1-how do you like that person and 2-your current situation. Same with any post, really.

best summary I have seen so far!

My fb is like my public diary. I post about my kids etc, I love seeing the memories a year later. Just scroll on if you don’t like it.

@LifesLittleDeciders

“I feel sorry for you to hate people like me just because I don’t like show offs”

Was not just “I feel sorry for you” it was a comment made to make bashful feel like they’re not allowed to justify disliking the judgmental people like yourself, and to make them feel like shit.

I don’t know what’s eating away at you; but if your going to act bitter at least own it and don’t try and sugar coat your own quotes.

If I can’t try and take back some control on a thread where someone else assassinated my character, then what’s the point in a discussion? Lots of positive posts in support of me and against me. No need to name call. I also find it quite sad that you have got so worked up over a thread to be name calling like that.

plus I was raised to know that anyone mentioning the word "classy" or the expression "not the done thing" in public is rather vulgar but with very big aspirational taste
Meanwhile most people understand that just because you share a view online doesn't mean you would be sitting around debating how classy it is.
Many people would consider it not the done thing to do the school run in pyjamas, they might not stand around at the gates gossiping, but I highly doubt it's vulgar to acknowledge the opinion online.

Isn't that what 75% of AIBU is? People asking opinions from people because most of the time many people don't tend to share everything they think in the name of being polite?