Why do people need to show off gifts on Facebook?

[1AngelicFruitCake]

I don’t get it. Lovely seeing photos of people with Mums, messages etc. But why brag ‘I’ve been spoilt with my many presents’ then post photos of them? It just screams ‘Look at me!’ which I know Facebook is all about that but come on, it’s so needy!

YABU-people should put photos of their presents
YANBU-there’s no need to post photos of your presents

My OH once sent flowers to my work on the anniversary of my Mum's death as I'd left for work that morning in floods of tears.

After I'd left, he went online and had them sent to cheer me up.

He must have been cheating.

Shall I LTB?

I mean, it happened a few years ago now but I suppose I could still LTB in retrospect.

Rather vociferous this 21%... some might say defensive or in search of validation perhaps I should take this opportunity to thank my AMAZING husband for the champagne breakfast, lovely pressies, card, country walk and roast that he put on for me on Sunday but OH HANG ON, I could just tell him thank you in real life and spare my friends the drivel!
Tbf I know I’ve driven people mad in the past with my political broadcasts and inane attempts at humour. We’re obviously just different folk.. and that’s ok, right?

I don’t post much on Facebook but still have it for a couple of community groups and keeping in touch with family and friends who live abroad/at the other end of the country. I don’t have hundreds of ‘friends‘ that aren’t actually my friends. Most are family or people I know and interact with on a fairly regular basis. I don’t have Twitter, Instagram or any of the others because imo they’re bad for the soul and are destroying our society.

I responded to this thread because I feel it’s quite sad if you begrudge others something that they feel they need to do for whatever reason. As long as they’re not harming anyone what’s the issue? Everyone is so angry & judgey all the time and it’s so damaging to ourselves to be like that. Just let people be.....if they seek ‘attention‘ either give it them or don’t.....and then move on with your day.

I genuinely think it is toxic to project a lie and pretend your life is better than it is. It exacerbates feelings of worthlessness in people who are already struggling for a start.

@CrankyFrankie

I genuinely think it is toxic to project a lie and pretend your life is better than it is. It exacerbates feelings of worthlessness in people who are already struggling for a start.

Project a lie and make your life better than it is?

Ok. So, when I posted my pregnancy announcement last year (which was neither
a lie nor an exaggeration of my life and how happy I was), should I not have done this? Why?

What's the line between "a lie" and someone just sharing happy news?

Also - genuine question as this always intrigues me...

who gets to decide that the person's post is an exaggerated portrayal of their life and how happy they are? We're not living their life, right? Maybe that post, at that time, was an accurate reflection of how they really felt. Who is anyone else to judge otherwise?

I’m late to the party but in answer to your question I think it’s:

1. Because they actually think that the more material gifts they get, the more that they are loved/the happier they are.

1. Because they want to convince themselves and their friends that they are having a nice/happy day.

I find it a bit annoying too, but always keep in the back of my mind that all is never as it appears. Some will be trying to project an image of happiness or perfection which will be a long way from the reality! Think about it, if you’re having a really lovely time, the last thing you have time for is to post pictures or posts on Facebook!

I find it even more bizarre when the gushy thanks are directed at people that don’t even have Facebook!

Think about it, if you’re really happy and really

In my opinion, the lie is created in the absence of a balanced representation. If your husband is so amazing and wonderful on Wednesday that he deserves public recognition, do you feel the same need to shout it from the rooftops when he’s pissed down the pub and called you a twat again, or rude to your mum, or whatever? If not, then you’re only projecting one side. If so, then you’re self-deprecating and humble and I like you and you should probably start a blog if you haven’t already :)

It’s not for me to say whether you announced your pregnancy sensitively and/or tastefully or not. Usually these posts make me happy, but I also can’t help feeling a pang of sympathy towards people I know who will be pained to see it without warning.

Ultimately I think these things are about tone and sensitivity. If you have no empathy then it comes across on your social media and some of your ‘friends’ are probably sneering at you.

@CrankyFrankie

In my opinion, the lie is created in the absence of a balanced representation. If your husband is so amazing and wonderful on Wednesday that he deserves public recognition, do you feel the same need to shout it from the rooftops when he’s pissed down the pub and called you a twat again, or rude to your mum, or whatever? If not, then you’re only projecting one side. If so, then you’re self-deprecating and humble and I like you and you should probably start a blog if you haven’t already :)

It’s not for me to say whether you announced your pregnancy sensitively and/or tastefully or not. Usually these posts make me happy, but I also can’t help feeling a pang of sympathy towards people I know who will be pained to see it without warning.

Ultimately I think these things are about tone and sensitivity. If you have no empathy then it comes across on your social media and some of your ‘friends’ are probably sneering at you.

What about the scenario where you share nice things about your husband who never calls you a twat down the pub and wouldn't dream of it , and is in fact just a decent guy? Is that OK to share?

Seeing things without warning is interesting. I lost my mum as child so Mother's Day on FB can often be difficult for me. If I'm having a particularly difficult time because of things that might trigger me to feel upset, I'll avoid SM for a while until I feel better. I view that as me taking responsibility for my own feelings and how SM use might affect it. I think it's an unfair expectation of me to ask my friends to never post anything about their wonderful Mums because I don't have one.

We all have a choice about how much SM we expose ourselves to and engage with.

But why the need to publicly honour one’s mum/gran/dog/husband? Isn’t it more authentic and meaningful to mark your gratitude privately?

Just de bowing or whatever to let you all know you are "famous"😂
www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/whats-on/family-kids-news/mum-faces-backlash-after-rant-20186685?fbclid=IwAR1-W1lfs7MYh2xbUmOufaoYtx1K5lnA0l_9yS8mryNey63RIgy52az7AZw

[quote SchrodingersImmigrant]Just de bowing or whatever to let you all know you are "famous"😂
www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/whats-on/family-kids-news/mum-faces-backlash-after-rant-20186685?fbclid=IwAR1-W1lfs7MYh2xbUmOufaoYtx1K5lnA0l_9yS8mryNey63RIgy52az7AZw[/quote]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

@SchrodingersImmigrant
I think one of my comments made it in there.

@CrankyFrankie

But why the need to publicly honour one’s mum/gran/dog/husband? Isn’t it more authentic and meaningful to mark your gratitude privately?

I don't know. I don't feel the need to question how others live their lives or what they do with their own SM accounts. It's such a non issue to me.

[quote SchrodingersImmigrant]Just de bowing or whatever to let you all know you are "famous"😂
www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/whats-on/family-kids-news/mum-faces-backlash-after-rant-20186685?fbclid=IwAR1-W1lfs7MYh2xbUmOufaoYtx1K5lnA0l_9yS8mryNey63RIgy52az7AZw[/quote]
😱😄

[quote LucieStar]@SchrodingersImmigrant
I think one of my comments made it in there. [/quote]
Congrats. I only made it to daily mail polishes nails against shirt and blows at them

@Lollipop888

I’m late to the party but in answer to your question I think it’s:

1. Because they actually think that the more material gifts they get, the more that they are loved/the happier they are.

1. Because they want to convince themselves and their friends that they are having a nice/happy day.

I find it a bit annoying too, but always keep in the back of my mind that all is never as it appears. Some will be trying to project an image of happiness or perfection which will be a long way from the reality! Think about it, if you’re having a really lovely time, the last thing you have time for is to post pictures or posts on Facebook!

I find it even more bizarre when the gushy thanks are directed at people that don’t even have Facebook!

Think about it, if you’re really happy and really

It is completely bizarre and 79% of posters agree! Unfortunately, there’ll be someone along in a moment to say how awful it is you aren’t seeing the positives in it.

I made this thread because I find it such an odd thing to do. Didn’t think I’d end up with 1,600 votes and appearing in the Liverpool Echo

This has obviously struck a chord with people by the number who don’t think I’m unreasonable!

I still think there have been some posters being very nasty directly to me, whilst simultaneously informing me I need to be kind, I’m so bitter etc. Funny how some posters are trying to portray themselves on here! If my thread is so bitter and irrelevant then why are you posting? Some of you have posted loads on this thread so as well as me working hard to bring boastful behaviour to public attention (you’re welcome!), I’ve clearly Entertained some of you, so again, you’re welcome!

Interesting that ~79% have voted YANBU.

Totally agree with you OP - however I can’t be accused of being snidey about my friends, as not one of them posted photos of loads of gifts.

I’m in a different part of the world so it wasn’t Mother’s Day here. However, of my UK/Irish friends who posted on FB, it was to wish their own mother or MIL a happy Mother’s Day.

Clearly my friends are very like-minded!

I love how people are free to post whatever they want on their FB wall. But we’re all then supposed to gaze upon it, robot-like, without forming an opinion of the contents of the post. Right, because that’s why people post on FB. For people not to think anything.

LucieStar
Lovely. We have different opinions 😄

Depends of the person posting. I only had one post with Mother’s Day “showing off” and frankly her DD had done a bloody fantastic job and the mum usually posts about her dog. She was clearly surprised and very delighted and wanted to show off her DD rather than her superior parenting skills.

@23PissOffAvenueWF

Interesting that ~79% have voted YANBU.

Totally agree with you OP - however I can’t be accused of being snidey about my friends, as not one of them posted photos of loads of gifts.

I’m in a different part of the world so it wasn’t Mother’s Day here. However, of my UK/Irish friends who posted on FB, it was to wish their own mother or MIL a happy Mother’s Day.

Clearly my friends are very like-minded!

I love how people are free to post whatever they want on their FB wall. But we’re all then supposed to gaze upon it, robot-like, without forming an opinion of the contents of the post. Right, because that’s why people post on FB. For people not to think anything.

😄 thank you! Unfortunately, you missed some posters really going for me for saying how boastful I find some people 🤔 I have no idea what would happen if I started a thread on an actual controversial topic!

I’ve got to give Lifeslittledeciders an honourable mention as she was particularly unpleasant (strange for a person posting about how kind they are 🤔)

We all have free will with social media. People can post their photos of a load of presents and I can ‘think’ how insecure it is. Luckily my actual friends don’t do things like this and would tease me or probably think 🙄😄 if I did!

@1AngelicFruitCake

The irony is lost on some posters who are quick to spread the “be kind” message while queuing up to throw insults at you for expressing an opinion that differs from theirs.

News flash, it’s ok to have an opinion on a subject, it’s ok to express that opinion, it’s ok for others to disagree with that opinion. That’s what makes the world an interesting place and why we’re all different! There’s no need for people to be rude.

[quote Lollipop888]@1AngelicFruitCake

The irony is lost on some posters who are quick to spread the “be kind” message while queuing up to throw insults at you for expressing an opinion that differs from theirs.

News flash, it’s ok to have an opinion on a subject, it’s ok to express that opinion, it’s ok for others to disagree with that opinion. That’s what makes the world an interesting place and why we’re all different! There’s no need for people to be rude.[/quote]
I needed you about 10 pages ago!

But seriously, my thoughts exactly. You post on social media and people are going to have thoughts about what you’ve posted. I accept people have opinions about what I’ve posted but the deliberate throwing my words back at me, whilst making smug comments and, in some cases, telling me I’m a horrible, pathetic, nasty person, I just find it a bit strange coming from the people who keep insisting how non-judgemental and kind they are.
And as I said a few pages ago, women I know in real life who I see as confident and strong, I’m surprised when I see such displays of neediness. It really makes me question why they feel the need to post photos trying to prove they are desired and loved on a day like Mother’s Day, Valentine’s Day etc.

Congrats. I only made it to daily mail

Even worse! 😂.

[quote LifesLittleDeciders]@BashfulClam I’ve been in this position too..

“Why do you post so much? No one cares what you’re doing”

Well you seem to care to bring it up and constantly read?

OP. I initially agreed with your post, I think people can be a bit braggy when it comes to gifts and occasions but then it’s not hurting anyone so just scroll past - however your response to Bashful had made me realise that your actually just a very spiteful, nasty and judgmental person. For you it’s not about people bragging, you just want someone and something to bitch about. Or perhaps you’re so green with envy you can’t possibly keep it classy and just ignore it, you decide to thrash people on the internet. Well done you. Bet you feel really big and clever.[/quote]
For any readers of the Liverpool Echo, hello! 😄
Just wanted to bring to your attention the type of responses I’ve had for giving my viewpoint about an aspect of Facebook. Thought it’d be a shame for anyone to miss some of the highlights!

Seriously though, a shame that out of the 21% that don’t agree with me, it descended into name calling.