AIBU to think that a mum would want to see her kids today

[toobusytothink]

Specifically wanting to know if IABU to think that if parents are separated, even if it isn’t mum’s weekend, mum would want to see her kids today.

My kids are with their dad today. They’ll be home tonight though, so while I’m quite happy at the idea of a quiet day with my DP, I think I’d feel a bit sad at not seeing them, for their sake as much as my own.

Yes of course, it's mothers day.
I presume on father's Day if it were your weekend but Dad would like to have the kids you'd be flexible enough for one day.

Some people take days more seriously than others. I won’t judge.

My ds sees his dad on a Sunday. We did Mother's Day things yesterday with my mum too. Today I will enjoy the rest and catch up on some work.

I think you're being judgemental here.

I don’t think Mother’s Day is a particularly big deal

Given a recent thread (what do you want for Mother’s Day) Mothers with their children 24/7 and a partner just want some time alone and some peace, therefore I don’t think it’s unreasonable for a co parenting mother to want some time alone.

It's just another Sunday with a silly marketing occasion attached to it, it doesn't matter.

Ds was sometimes with his dad on Mother's Day.

I don't hold it to any account though. It means nothing to me. When the kids a little they like to make me a card or something but I'm not the sort of person who goes in for occasion days, I only celebrate my own birthday for the kids sake.

Not everyone cares.

Ex on the other hand always had to have Ds on Father's Day or on his birthday. Which was fine. It it was more about him than Ds.

Perhaps we should rename it “Mother’s Day off” day then? I’d be up for that 😄

I’m not bothered by Mother’s Day either. My kids say thank you all year for the things I do for them.

I’ve seen so many gushing ‘thanks to X flowers for the delivery this morning they are beautiful’

No mention of the person paying for them!

Why dose it have to be an Award speech?

I'm a mum but think of it from the dad's side. He might not have seen his much loved dcs for a whole week, and is then expected to see them less. That would really hurt.

Some Mums would maybe much prefer a day to chill out in peace. That would be a real gift, especially during a pandemic if she hasn’t had much of a break.
So many people are burnt out right now.
So I wouldn’t judge. It’s just a day.

It’s an arbitrary Hallmark occasion really...how much importance attached to it is down to the individual. Some people people take Mothers Day seriously, others barely give it a thought.

I don’t think a contact schedule needs to be amended to accommodate it, no...but that’s me.

As long as they called me I would be ok with being apart, I don't think it's the big deal some people do.

It's just the way it is for lots of families, so I wouldn't judge any woman who didn't see her children today. Things can be complicated, and it could be more trouble than it's worth to make alternative arrangements.

Op, have you been unable to see your children today?

My DD is with her Dad today. I’m not bothered, she’ll be home this evening. I love her and she loves me every day. She’s too young to do anything more by herself than to make a card. I’m enjoying my peaceful weekend!

Kids time with dad is important. A day off on mother's day is nice too.

Yes luckily I’m with my kids today. Well I will be once they get up which could be 10/11:00 😄. Will have done a couple of laundry loads and walked the dog by then. Tbh the day doesn’t mean a lot to me and I don’t need a huge thing made of it but I would be sad if I didn’t see them at all today

My DC are with their Dad today, I’ve never asked for this to be changed for Mother’s Day, I got my card/gift Friday night from them 🤷🏻‍♀️

Perhaps we should rename it “Mother’s Day off” day then? I’d be up for that

It definitely shouldn't be mum doing everything she normally does but getting a card and a new mug. Mum should be having a rest on mother's day. I will see my children my their dad will be doing most of the legwork today.

Mother's Day isn't a big deal for me. If I'm totally honest, would I like my partner to look after them for the whole day and leave me alone for a bit? Yes.

I am obviously loving seeing my DDs today (DH and I are still together so I see them every day) but I would be absolutely fine about celebrating Mother’s Day on a different day if I couldn’t see them today.

I have to say though, the thought of a day to myself sounds amazing right now! I haven’t been alone for more than an hour or so since March last year. DD2 is 5mo though so it’s going to be a while still.

I guess that’s the problem with separated parents though. Either mum gets to see her kids in which case no doubt she will be doing everything or she doesn’t and gets a peaceful day. Win win I guess (or lose lose depending on how you see it)

I expect that, for those mothers who are newly separated or divorced, or for those who are unhappy with their custody arrangements, it takes on more significance. And that, for those who have a well established, calm routine it is just another occasion that necessitates compromise. I would have found it hard to be away from mine when they were younger because they were excited to make me cards and burn my toast. It doesn’t matter now they’re older.
They’re 20 and 15 and still get the felt-tips out to make my cards though

Isnt a mothers day where you spend the day looking after your kids just 'any other day'? Give me peace and quiet please!