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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think that a mum would want to see her kids today

100 replies

toobusytothink · 14/03/2021 07:34

Specifically wanting to know if IABU to think that if parents are separated, even if it isn’t mum’s weekend, mum would want to see her kids today.

OP posts:

mediumduboir · 14/03/2021 09:30

My boys are with their dad and it doesn't bother me I'm not seeing them today just because it's Mother's Day. We did Mother's Day things yesterday.

Strangekindofwoman · 14/03/2021 09:35

Perhaps her idea of a perfect Mothers day is to have the day to herself.

Confusedandshaken · 14/03/2021 09:36

@midnightstar66

Are people really avoiding seeing their family completely just in case they are overcome with the urge to hug? Just hug them if it's that important ffs.

I can't do it @midnightstar66! I'm a classic oldest child rule keeper. If I gave into the impulse to hug the guilt would overwhelm me. I'd worry for days that I had inadvertently spread the virus. The Catholic Church and my super-strict parents did a great job on me.

I will continue to tough it out. I'll keep counting the days until the 'children' can come home and join us and we can hug and laugh like always.

On the 29th when we can meet outside in a garden I will be meeting my rule breaking friend to celebrate a big bIrthday. I push down my jealousy of her family contact during lockdown and keep repeating the mantra 'we are all different, we are all different, we are all different...'.

MuddleMoo · 14/03/2021 09:46

@Thisgirlcando

We’ve got my partners kids with us today, he asked last week if she would like to swap so she can see them on mother’s day and she said no it is just another day.

A mutual friend messaged him this morning suggesting he dropped the kids off because she has put on Facebook that she’s devastated to not see her kids on Mother’s Day yet again as they are being kept from her. He just text her asking if she wants to see them and she replied telling him to stop trying to get rid of them (he isn’t, he loves having them here and keeps asking to increase to 50:50) and that it is just another day.

That's awful!

Moolan · 14/03/2021 09:49

Children can acknowledge their Mothers every day of the year.

Jangle33 · 14/03/2021 09:56

Assuming it’s an every other weekend split then some years it will fall on the mum weekend, some years it won’t. I think it’s not fair on the dad/kids to insist that the mum gets 3 weekends in a row or similar just so they get Mother’s Day. Far better the kids get quality, decent time with both parents and their routine isn’t disrupted.

Jangle33 · 14/03/2021 09:58

Also amazed at suggestion people are meeting their mums today!! Unless you’re in a bubble we are still in lockdown!!

ukgift2016 · 14/03/2021 09:58

My daughter with her dad today, that is my mother day treat!!

Sunday are contact days so why would I change that? I have my daughter 90% of the time.

arethereanyleftatall · 14/03/2021 09:59

When I was a sahm and my kids were young and full on (I think they were 2&0 so too young to celebrate) - I took Mother's Day as my day off. A day for me.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 14/03/2021 09:59

@Jangle33

Also amazed at suggestion people are meeting their mums today!! Unless you’re in a bubble we are still in lockdown!!

Yawn!

GettingUntrapped · 14/03/2021 10:12

Don't make mothers' day into another day for women to perform a role if they prefer a rest.

trappedsincesundaymorn · 14/03/2021 10:13

Never bothered me in the slightest that DD was with her dad on Mother's Day. When you get told every day "I love you Mum" (even now she's an adult and lives 3 hours away she still texts me those words every night), Mother's Day is like any other.

Hesma · 14/03/2021 10:15

My DDs are with me today but in the past when they have been with their Dad I’ve enjoyed a restful day and then he’s brought them home early so we have some time together. Similarly if they are with me on Father’s day then they will go and visit him for a few hours.

sashh · 14/03/2021 11:17

It's just another Sunday with a silly marketing occasion attached to it, it doesn't matter.

It's actually Mothering Sunday, the day you are supposed to go to your 'mother church' but I agree it has been hijacked.

MimiDaisy11 · 14/03/2021 11:21

I think it depends on relations with the ex. I'm not the most sentimental person so I don't take such importance in days like this. If you do something special for Mother's Day then you could just do it the weekend before or after.

gerbilfur · 14/03/2021 11:25

My ds10 is with his dad today. I get him back tomorrow. I have Facetimed him today, and while its not ideal, it has to be enough.

phoenixrosehere · 14/03/2021 11:29

When I was a sahm and my kids were young and full on (I think they were 2&0 so too young to celebrate) - I took Mother's Day as my day off. A day for me.

This. If it wasn’t for lockdown, I’d be in Central London for the day, walking around and doing things I enjoy alone and having a meal where I can eat in peace

LindaEllen · 14/03/2021 11:38

YANBU. DP has custody of his son, and his mum sees him EOW. If our EOW falls on Mother's Day, we allow an extra weekend with her.

She is only allowed limited time with him for good reason, however yes, I wouldn't ever want to take Mother's Day away from her, as she missed out on so many when he was younger (because she decided to leave for 6 years and not even contact him, shagging everyone she could get her hands on).

StormzyInaDCup · 14/03/2021 12:17

I don't think it's for you to judge now is it really...

BashfulClam · 14/03/2021 12:50

It’s a made up day like valentines day. Look
up the actual origins of Mothering Sunday and it has nothing to do with mother’s.
It was about returning home to your mother church on one Sunday a year. Anyone who says Valentine’s say is made up nonsense and sneer at it should feel the same on Mother’s Day...another made up day!

Sansaplans · 14/03/2021 12:53

Meh, it depends. I wouldn't judge someone for not being arsed, it's just another day to many. If there is a contact arrangement in place then they might just not have wanted to change things around, or might have seen having a rest and the day to themselves as more appealing.

Mrsfussypants1 · 14/03/2021 14:18

Im a grandma and it doesn't bother me not seeing daughter and grandaughter today at all. Saying that i have had a beautiful card made by both of them and the best bit is grandaughter has wrote her name in it all by herself. Her name has nine letters in it and shes learnt it through lockdown at home taught by her lovely mum. Super proud of them both its made my day.

midnightstar66 · 14/03/2021 16:35

Also amazed at suggestion people are meeting their mums today!! Unless you’re in a bubble we are still in lockdown!!

bassetlaw · 14/03/2021 16:52

My boyfriends children's mum didn't want to see them-it was his weekend but he offered the sunday to her. She said no. They are quite little and had made cards etc at school that they were excited to give her. I thought it was a bit sad and I can't imagine saying no to seeing mine on Mother's Day-but I guess she had her reasons.

Chewingle · 14/03/2021 16:58

@Jangle33

Also amazed at suggestion people are meeting their mums today!! Unless you’re in a bubble we are still in lockdown!!

Many meeting their mothers for a walk Totally allowed Problem?

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