I don’t want to holiday with my in laws.

[Roobie51]

Hi all, mil keeps pestering me asking if we can all go on a break together (within in the U.K. when covid allows she means).

At this point with covid I’m in no rush to book a holiday with everything going on. I live in a beautiful coastal town in the southwest and I don’t really feel the need to get away for now. I can understand why others might want to get away buy I have so much in my doorstep and I’m happy staying put for a while.

As well as covid I just cannot bear the thought of going away with them. Dp feels similar. We like to do our own thing just the 4 of us (2dc). Mil and her husband can be difficult and hard work . If we wanted to get away I’d rather go as a family. I couldn’t bear going away with my own family either. It’s not just my idea of fun.

Plus we are skint and probably couldn’t even afford a cheap holiday right now.

Aibu? Advice? Don’t want to hurt her feelings? We were thinking of booking a weekend away much later in the year (again if we can) but feel like if we book it she’ll get agro she isn’t involved.

Mil loves this kind of thing. She’s always holidayed with her parents (when still alive), her brothers and sisters, niece and nephews etc. Dp always went away as a child with his numerous cousins and said he always hated it 😅 we aren’t overly sociable people and like doing our own thing.

Aibu? Am I just being an unsociable git? Shall I just give in and go and try and have a good time?

Just say to her "it's not my thing" and "I only holiday with the nuclear family, I find holidays with extended family exhausting and it is risky to good relationships when arguments can develop"

This ^^
No-one asks to go on holiday with us, but if they had we would have just said that we never go on holiday with other people as we prefer to stay on good terms with them.

I love going away with my in laws.

But, we get on well and it isn't a problem if we fancy doing something separately.

No way I'd waste annual leave and money if
I wouldn't enjoy it.

‘Sorry, I don’t find holidaying in a large group very relaxing - not my thing.’

Zombie

@noirchatsdeux

I made the mistake of going away for a long weekend with my partner's family...it's was his aunt's 60th birthday. Her husband had rented a large villa in Scotland and paid for everyone to fly up (he was extremely wealthy). I'd been feeling very unwell for the week beforehand and really didn't want to go, but my partner made a big deal about the money that had been spent on the plane ticket...

The first night, after travelling for 12 hours, we went straight out for a meal - we weren't even given any time to change, freshen up beforehand. Long meal lasting about 4 hours, get back to villa just before midnight. I've already been sick once in the evening, I tell partner I'm going straight to bed. Unfortunately our bedroom was directly above the living room where the majority of the party - about 10 people - decide to stay up all night getting drunk...partner finally staggers to bed, drunk out of his mind, at 8am. The day before, he'd been given an itinerary (?) of the weekend's events ...which he's promptly lost. Apparently we were supposed to be going to some scenic railway at 10am. Partner is unconscious, I can't wake him and I don't know about this outing anyway. No one bothers coming to see if we are coming... I spent a very boring day stuck in our room watching my unconscious partner (we are in the tit end of nowhere and there is literally nothing else around). He finally surfaces at about 5pm, is up an hour and still feels terrible so goes back to bed...we finally make it downstairs at about 8pm....to looks that could kill from his parents. Apparently we've missed the catered dinner - to this day, I still ask why did none of the fuckers come and knock on our door??

Already long story shorter, partner's father has never forgiven me for my 'bad' behaviour that weekend - yes I got the blame for the lot - and couldn't have cared less that I ended up in hospital the next week with double pneumonia...

There's been other stuff since but suffice to say I've not seen partner's parents in about 5 years and there's more chance of me going to Mars than on another holiday with them...

Nope. Don't do it - or if you HAVE to, make it only a weekend away or something like that, and plan some activities/time only for the 4 of you.

Been there, done that (more than once tbh) and it will not happen again. No way! I'd do holidays with the extended family (in laws or my own family) only if we travel on our own, have our own accommodation, our own space, we can do our own thing and maybe we can join the relatives for some stuff IF WE CHOSE TO. Maybe. Having the same villa or house with them? Especially if there is only one kitchen or one living room? No bloody way! And my in-laws are so much like "we all put money in the kitty and shop together and cook together and eat together". Errr... NOT ANY MORE! (I had enough of paying too much money for their wine and cheeses and all sorts of things that they HAD TO pick up from the shops , and I didn't even drink alcohol in those days for various reasons). And my own folks have their own issues - far too many to even start mentioning them here. Sorry, rant over, the idea is still: NOPE!

This story is so entertaining. !