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Original poster

backpacks in secondary school

152 replies

Boudicca55 · 13/03/2021 10:35

My daughter is at secondary school and is being teased (bullied?) because she does not have a certain type of backpack...which costs a lot of money£70. I just can't afford it and even if I could, I reaally object to some other cirls dictating what kind of backpack I should buy for my child. COMMENTS PLEASE.

OP posts:
OwlinaTree · 13/03/2021 10:37

This is always so difficult. Is she about 13? It's all about fitting in at that age.

Tangogolf55 · 13/03/2021 10:38

If she has a rucksack, then girls usually have big handbags. Stupid but that’s life. Shops will sell them for £20.

HugeAckmansWife · 13/03/2021 10:39

My DS has an UnderArmour one from sports direct for about £25 but obviously I'm sure girls have a different preference. Can she find something that isn't a brand, just unusual and that SHE likes. Use it as a teaching moment about not being a sheep and owning your own choices and preferences.

CherieBabySpliffUp · 13/03/2021 10:41

Don't buckle, trends change so you'll be stuck with an expensive bag that she won't want to use soon enough. As long as the bag she has works then it's good enough. How does she react to the teasing?
Has she got a good friend that can stick with her?
Whenever her bag is commented on if she repeats that she is happy with the one she has hopefully they'll get bored and move on.

Ameliablue · 13/03/2021 10:42

The type of kids who would built over a bag pack would probably just fine something else to built about if you did get this back pack.
I am curious though about what backpack it is, my teenage girls can be quite particular about their bags etc but they are generally just plain black with a sports logo and nowhere near that price.

Ilovemaisie · 13/03/2021 10:42

Really? Every single girl in her school has a £70 backpack except her.
Teach her to say "why are you so bothered about what bag I have. This one does the job. Who cares about bags" and walk away.

sunflowersandbuttercups · 13/03/2021 10:42

It's normal, sadly.

I also think it's quite unusual for teenage girls to wear any kind of backpack these days. I know even when I was at school, they weren't 'cool'.

LolaSmiles · 13/03/2021 10:43

If your child is being bullied then speak to school, either form tutor or head of year.

On the backpack front, if your daughter likes her bag then encourage her to have confidence in her likes and dislikes. If she genuinely doesn't then let her change to something that's within your budget.

Hankunamatata · 13/03/2021 10:44

God love her. Boys seem to have it easier with this stuff. Mine just has a black under armour backpack.

Hankunamatata · 13/03/2021 10:45

It does make you wish schools did their own bags

LolaSmiles · 13/03/2021 10:45

I am curious though about what backpack it is, my teenage girls can be quite particular about their bags etc
I'm guessing it's the Fjallraven ones. They're the only backpacks I've really seen female students wear in the last year.
I think quite a few influencers have been using them as part of greenwashing their content.

BentBastard · 13/03/2021 10:45

My daughter (13) has a standard black backpack. Most the girls have handbags and she thinks they're ridiculous using something so impractical just to fit in. But then again she's the only girl that wears trousers too.

Tangogolf55 · 13/03/2021 10:45

What bag is your dd using?

OwlinaTree · 13/03/2021 10:45

I think it's a phase they go through of wanting to fit in. It was River Island carrier bags and slip on shoes when I was 14. It's difficult when the object is so expensive though. Does she want the backpack?

Kendodd · 13/03/2021 10:48

I thought this was going to be a thread about the weight of backpacks with all the books etc and the health problems this could cause.

As it's about fashion, it's hard but has always been the case. At the end of the day, if you can't afford it, you can't afford it.

OnlyBejoking · 13/03/2021 10:48

Lots of girls have Kanken's at my daughters' school. I won't let mine have handbags as it is terrible for their posture!

LeSquigh · 13/03/2021 10:48

I also suspect Fjallraven. I looked at them myself after seeing loads of girls using them and quite frankly they are awful, the material is flimsy, they have little in the way of internal pockets and they aren’t very big. I decided they wasn’t worth the money.

AgnesNaismith · 13/03/2021 10:48

I wish dd would want a Fjallraven bag to save her back! She has a backpack and some have handbags (what on earth??) but has to go to the chiropractor twice a month due to all the crap she has to take every day.

Givemeabreak88 · 13/03/2021 10:48

I live right next to a secondary school and they all seem to have big hand bags, haven’t seen many back packs

dementedpixie · 13/03/2021 10:51

@Tangogolf55

If she has a rucksack, then girls usually have big handbags. Stupid but that’s life. Shops will sell them for £20.
Not true in my dc's school. Both my kids use backpacks - 1 girl, 1 boy
EvilOnion · 13/03/2021 10:58

Secondary school is bloody rough, unfortunately some brats kids just take on the pack mentality and pick on people for any silly little thing!

Not everyone is confident enough to speak out against it and just desperately wants to fit in do it stops but then they just move on to something else.

How does your daughter feel about her bag? Is she the type to step up to them or just take it quietly (no judgement, my DS has been bullied relentlessly over the years and has only just recently decided to stand up for himself)?

Speak to her, if she's REALLY desperate to fit in - I know it's annoying! - and get the same bag could you chip in as an early birthday present with other family members maybe? Hopefully it won't come to that though and she is happy enough with her own choices to wear what she likes.

Either way speak to the school about it and try to keep communication lines open with your daughter incase it escalates.

HugeAckmansWife · 13/03/2021 11:03

I really really wouldn't get it if the only reqain is to fit in and it's a financial stretch. What will you do next month when it's something else? There's a lot of middle ground between the 'in' thing and a really crappy cheap thing. Help her find her style and cultivate a raised eyebrow 'it's just a bag, whatever' type comment.

eeyore228 · 13/03/2021 11:08

I can't abide this sort of thing. It's even worse when we as parents are actually suggesting the purchase of handbags and the like rather than addressing the actual issue. My daughter and her friend are very different style-wise. Me her mum and the girls met up and they discussed bags. DD said she wanted a backpack, her friend wanted a handbag. My friends mum turned to me and said ‘handbags are preferred, she will get bullied’. Wtf?! With that attitude no wonder kids think they can get away with it and take the piss. Tell your kid to have the bag she wants IF you can afford it. My DD has her backpack and she tells anyone who comments that she likes it, the world is nasty enough without crap like this.

SchwingLow · 13/03/2021 11:09

@Givemeabreak88

I live right next to a secondary school and they all seem to have big hand bags, haven’t seen many back packs
Fashion will vary from school to school, even ones that are really close together. It’s quite interesting really. I always notice when I drive along near secondary schools that the kids walking together often have the same bags as each other. Like tribes.

Kankens have been fashionable for at least four years. My dd bought one two years ago and I thought she was a bit late to the party. She has a job though.

They are good bags. I was watching some Scandinavian drama and they had a nursery age child and when they took him to daycare they all had them!

I don’t think you should be pushed into getting her an expensive bag because some other children say she should have one. And if they are bullies they will just find something else. I would talk to your dd about what she would like to happen first. Then I’d speak to the school.

user1471604011 · 13/03/2021 11:09

If it’s the fjallraven backpacks you can get fake ones on eBay for around £15, I bought one a few years ago and it’s indistinguishable from the real ones and is still in great condition

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