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backpacks in secondary school

152 replies

Boudicca55 · 13/03/2021 10:35

My daughter is at secondary school and is being teased (bullied?) because she does not have a certain type of backpack...which costs a lot of money£70. I just can't afford it and even if I could, I reaally object to some other cirls dictating what kind of backpack I should buy for my child. COMMENTS PLEASE.

OP posts:
ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 14/03/2021 08:52

It’s not about scruffiness. It’s about style of bag. But I’m not putting it on here.

binkymcbinks · 14/03/2021 09:01

It's rubbish but it's always been the same. When I was at school everyone had Head bags with the removable end pocket.
Re Kanken bags, they are excellent quality and last an age. I've had one for a good few years now and there is no fraying on any of the straps. Can you get a second hand one from eBay? There are lots of fakes out here that you wouldn't be able to tell the difference from a real one, but they won't last as long.

Preech · 14/03/2021 09:02

I remember this being "a thing" when I was in school. Almost every single kid in my high school had a backpack from a single outdoor-lifestyle brand, usually with a strip of reflective tape and their initials embroidered on them. Very high quality bags (I went to school in an area where a lot of parents could afford to believe in "buy cheap, buy twice"), but incredibly expensive, even going by today's prices.

One thing I figured out from years of being picked on at school, is that if you go out and get the status thing that makes you "fit in" ... you still don't fit in. It's crap, but it doesn't send a signal to your bullies that you're suddenly acceptable. It just tells them they got to you, that you'll do as they say, and that they have leverage. And once that signal is sent to them, then they really pile on.

I would probably have loved having a status backpack in high school, had my folks rushed out to get me one. But they didn't, and I used my back-to-school budget to source my own bookbags that I was happy with. When I did that, the others' opinions were irrelevant.

My teen stepdaughter also bought a big handbag in S2 to use as a book-bag and conform with what the others were doing. By S3, she decided her shoulder was killing her, and that hauling around notebooks and paperwork in a backpack was far more sensible. I'm glad her short-lived conformity bag was a budget brand rather than expensive. Grin

whattodo2019 · 14/03/2021 09:04

Sadly i think it's pretty normal, it was the same when I was at school. Both my kids have
school bags over £70....

NerrSnerr · 14/03/2021 09:16

Rubbish , all 3 of my Dc's none of them one now a grown adult ever wanted something at school just because they wanted to fit in .This actually encourages this sort of behaviour .I brought mine up to be themselves and not let others dictate what they should and should not have or wear .

But if a 13 year old wants to fit in that's ok too. I had a this huge green monstrosity of a bag when I was in secondary school. I know I should have stood up to the bullies, I know I should have been resilient but what I actually wanted was a plain black leather looking bag like every other person (you could get them for £5 on the market). My mum said I should just me myself, but myself wasn't the bag that she bought me without asking (it had lots of pockets so was practical).

I know that they probably would have just picked on something else, but the big green bag has stuck with me.

kowari · 14/03/2021 09:21

Rubbish , all 3 of my Dc's none of them one now a grown adult ever wanted something at school just because they wanted to fit in .This actually encourages this sort of behaviour .I brought mine up to be themselves and not let others dictate what they should and should not have or wear .
My DS hasn't either, he's almost 15. Always just liked what he likes.

SusannaMorvern · 14/03/2021 09:24

I also suspect Fjallraven. I looked at them myself after seeing loads of girls using them and quite frankly they are awful, the material is flimsy, they have little in the way of internal pockets and they aren’t very big. I decided they wasn’t worth the money.

We have 2 that are 25yrs old. They go the distance, despite their looks and are like the tardis inside. That said they were out of my budget for a school bag. DD contributed to hers from birthday money and paper round money. She was 13, it's still her schoolbag 2yrs later. She's actually not a follower of her peers, they all have stupid handbags.

WhereverIlaymyhat2021 · 14/03/2021 09:27

Oh it never changes does it, I’m 40 and it was the same when I was at school. I feel for your daughter and you OP, it’s ok telling her to have confidence in her choices etc. but she’s a teenager, those concepts are completely alien.

Can you look on Depop etc. to see if anyone’s selling a like new one for a cheaper price.

Vierty · 14/03/2021 09:28

I’ve never heard of these backpacks. Here they all have herschel ones, never seen a student with a handbag including in the sixth form

LolaSmiles · 14/03/2021 09:30

SusannaMorvern
Sorry to jump in, but that's good to know. I have been thinking of getting one for being out with DC instead of a handbag. Their eco approach sounded appealing but I didn't want to spend that much money if they weren't going to last. Smile

BugsAndBeesAndBirdsAndButterfl · 14/03/2021 09:31

I'd not seen herchel before. They're really muce and much more reasonably priced!

BugsAndBeesAndBirdsAndButterfl · 14/03/2021 09:31

Nice not muce!

thecatsthecats · 14/03/2021 09:32

Does she want the bag, or one like it? What does her current bag look like?

I was desperate to have a bag like the ones other girls had. Mine was an ugly hiking style one, and I treated it as the embarrassment it was. I didn't need an expensive, perfect one - just one that wasn't so transparently different because my parents thought that one was better.

(FWIW, not even more expensive either - the "durable" bag I hated cost as much as the fashionable ones)

binkymcbinks · 14/03/2021 09:38

Tk Maxx usually sells Herschel bags for very reasonable prices.

binkymcbinks · 14/03/2021 09:42

Thinking about the secondary kids near me, some girls have Kanken bags, but far more (boys and girls) have black Nike rucksacks, the ones with "Nike" written in large white letters down the side. So that's the the "rucksack of the moment" here. You can buy those ones in Sports Direct for under £15. I guarantee they won't last anywhere near as long as a Kanken though!

BugsAndBeesAndBirdsAndButterfl · 14/03/2021 09:42

Sports direct are selling herschel for 20-30 and eastpak as well

stuckinarutatwork · 14/03/2021 09:44

@Level32

How many parents spend £70 on a backpack!?! Although saying that, I've seen at least 2 or 3 girls at DDs school with big Michael Coors totes, and it's not private. DS has a retro 60s messenger bag of ebay, and DD has a school one.
I bought DD a Kipling bag with an RRP in excess of that when she was going into year 3 (age 7) - it was a Black Friday deal for about £30 though. I chose it because it looked strong and comfortable to wear and also because it looked like it would last. She's now in year 8 and it's still going strong. It gets a whizz in the washing machine each school holiday and still looks like new. The design seems quite timeless and inoffensive. I wouldn't hesitate to buy another one.
murbblurb · 14/03/2021 09:45

Report bullying to the school.

It is no wonder women never get anywhere, as clearly the mums teach their daughters that useless shit aimed at females is essential. They also teach their daughters to bully other girls who don't have useless shit aimed at females and to dress all the same. I despair.

reluctantbrit · 14/03/2021 09:45

DD's school (girls only) made backpacks mandatory last September, the head hates the handbags. I think she even moved to navy or black for new starters/replacement bags.

DD can't be bothered too much what others wear but when she mentioned Hype back in Y7 a lot we told her to save her pocket money or ask for it for her birthday.

We as parents are responsible to provide a suitable bag and I obviously take fashion and taste into account but I don't pay for a brand unless it is absolutely worth it.

DD now has her own set of books and needs to take proper A4 folders with her so she carries a plain black laptop bag she loves because it is comfortable and spacious.

LadyOfTheFlowers · 14/03/2021 09:48

I get all this crap they just "neeeed" off eBay.

I tell them what I'm prepared to pay for something and give them the choice - the expensive one you absolutely just need and must have second hand up to £** or a perfectly adequate alternative brand new. Their choice.

(This so far applies to my 3 teenage boys)

NerrSnerr · 14/03/2021 09:49

I think it's fair that a secondary school child gets to choose their school bag within whatever budget. If they get pocket money or whatever then they can get something more expensive or request for birthday/ Christmas if that's financially viable for the parent. Of course a parent can veto something that wouldn't be allowed or similar but you can guide to what's practical and say you won't buy another if it's uncomfortable.

2pinkginsplease · 14/03/2021 09:52

My dd has chosen superdry backpack for school for the last few years,

Her friends all have either Nike, Vans, Superdry or Adidas.

Some started off high school using handbags but they need to carry too much so backpack is the sensible option.

converseandjeans · 14/03/2021 10:16

DD has a Vans backpack and is year 8. She's not in a popular crowd but lots have the Vans backpack.

I agree with the comment that you can link possible future attainment by the size of the bag. If you want to do well in school you're not going to fit everything in a small handbag.

However I'm guessing it's not the handbag she's after as that wouldn't cost £70. Kids can be horrible.

kowari · 14/03/2021 10:23

My dd has chosen superdry backpack for school for the last few years,
Do you mean the same bag? Or do they only last a year?!

sashh · 14/03/2021 10:54

It does make you wish schools did their own bags

My school uniform included a leather satchel, I didn't get one but those that did were still using them 5 years later.

Maybe schools should start that again but with backpacks.

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