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Original poster

backpacks in secondary school

152 replies

Boudicca55 · 13/03/2021 10:35

My daughter is at secondary school and is being teased (bullied?) because she does not have a certain type of backpack...which costs a lot of money£70. I just can't afford it and even if I could, I reaally object to some other cirls dictating what kind of backpack I should buy for my child. COMMENTS PLEASE.

OP posts:
Konga · 13/03/2021 19:00

I bought a fjallraven a couple of years ago because I liked the look. It arrived and I sent it back because the straps were awful and uncomfortable. Then I started to see all the 14-year-old girls wearing them and was very glad I had!

Re handbags: My 12yo dd calls them the handbag girls and says they’re always posing in the toilets. I hope she continues to be happy with her black backpack.

SpiderinaWingMirror · 13/03/2021 19:07

Dds bog standard secondary they have to have backpacks. Other sorts, esp handbags are forbidden.
There were a couple of kids that had the expensive ones but it's by no means universal. I don't think I would buy one but it's the sort of money her granny would spend on a birthday or Xmas so if dd really wanted one, that would be her route for it.

onemouseplace · 13/03/2021 19:10

This all makes me very relieved that the ultra fashionable bag when I was at school in the 90s was an army surplus knapsack - which at least had the advantage of being really cheap!

Konga - I did exactly the same. The straps were really thin and I could just imagine them digging in really painfully if you had anything heavy in it.

SE13Mummy · 13/03/2021 19:17

I have a Kanken that I use for work and I love it! I've had it four years now, it lugs a fair weight around each day including a laptop and is comfy to carry even though the straps look thin. Mine was a birthday gift from DH and the reason I wanted one was because of the shape and how the front fully unzips.

needadvice54321 · 13/03/2021 19:39

@BluebellsGreenbells

It does make you wish schools did their own bags

No, make me wish parents didn’t buy into this crap because most teens don’t have their own money and reply on mum and dad to buy them the ‘latest’

No a school issue. It’s a parent issue.

What if a child has requested the bag for their birthday? Should a parent turn them down as it's not fair on other children? The children should just not be bloody nasty!
TheMoth · 13/03/2021 19:42

Kids where I work all have to have the same, boring black bag. I think it's brilliant. 6th form don't. They all have massive handbags.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 13/03/2021 19:45

My dd’s school dictates a particular backpack, so there can be none of this. I’m quite glad now that they do! They’d never be able to fit / carry all their stuff in a big handbag - sometimes I can’t lift dd’s rucksack/ backpack.

SandSeaBeach · 13/03/2021 19:49

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ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 13/03/2021 20:07

But teens need to fit in. They need to be part of a pack.

Individualism comes later at 16/17/18.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 13/03/2021 20:10

Re handbags

My dd 14 calls them the ‘Popular Girls.’ Probably similar to ‘handbag girls!’

echt · 13/03/2021 20:28

When I last taught in the UK (mid-2000s), the fashion was for tiny drawstring nylon backpacks that you'd have been hard pushed to put more than couple of exercise books and a teeny pencil case in. No lockers.

You could gauge the likely attainment of students just by looking at the back pack.

malificent7 · 13/03/2021 21:58

Well you cannot win. I bought dd a lovely superdry coat that cost £££ but then a kid in her class said they weren't cool so she refused to wear it.
Focus on building self esteem or encouragevher to save up. Or get her to think of some come backs.

Spidder · 14/03/2021 00:53

I remember the girls in school laughing at my Nicks trainers, that my mum was really proud of getting me. Then I put black tape over them to hide the name and they took the piss again. One of them is apparently a barrister now. Hope she's a bit more compassionate.

Cloudyrainsham · 14/03/2021 00:59

The first couple of years of secondary seem to be bloody awful for stuff like this. I bought my daughter a lovely rucksack for school in year 7 but after a couple of months she really wanted a bug handbag like the other girls. None of the girls have rucksacks/backpacks. I don’t remember if she got teased but she was desperate to fit in.

grannynap · 14/03/2021 01:02

DD 13 purchased a kanken for about £17 on eBay (she's extremely careful with her money but wanted one). She went to school and no one could tell a difference between hers and their real ones Grin

Cloudyrainsham · 14/03/2021 01:03

@LagneyandCasey - we had those jelly bags in the 80’s 😂 We got them from the market. Bloody ridiculous things they were! The jelly shoes too!

Stinkycatbreath · 14/03/2021 01:56

When I was a teen it was Kickers or Docs and a Sweater Shop one strap backpack. Neither of which I was allowed. This too shall pass.

peak2021 · 14/03/2021 07:32

If you or your DD consider it bullying then report it to the school.

VicarofDibley · 14/03/2021 08:27

@BentBastard

My daughter (13) has a standard black backpack. Most the girls have handbags and she thinks they're ridiculous using something so impractical just to fit in. But then again she's the only girl that wears trousers too.
Snap my secondary DD has a rucksack .Actually said handbags are a waste of time because you can't fit anything in them .Be a brave person who said anything she can stop you dead with her stare.Seriously though op speak tot the school bullying is not acceptable if your DD wants a back pack then it sod all to do with anyone else.
ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 14/03/2021 08:32

You could gauge the likely attainment of students just by looking at the back pack

I’m a teacher. You still can. I’m saying nothing on here though, it will be a bunfight!

VicarofDibley · 14/03/2021 08:32

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

But teens need to fit in. They need to be part of a pack.

Individualism comes later at 16/17/18.

Rubbish , all 3 of my Dc's none of them one now a grown adult ever wanted something at school just because they wanted to fit in .This actually encourages this sort of behaviour .I brought mine up to be themselves and not let others dictate what they should and should not have or wear .
ittakes2 · 14/03/2021 08:34

Is she getting teased or do you there is a chance she is telling you she is getting teased to trigger you into buying one? I have teens - I get being teased for using something ie maybe carrying an old backpack but very unusual to be teased for not having something. Does she just need a new backpack but maybe doesn’t have to have the expensive one?

notanothertakeaway · 14/03/2021 08:44

At that age, it's common for girls to want to fit in. At 13, I was desperate for a certain style, and I would have loved my parents to acknowledge that it was important to me

I think looking for a fake / second hand bag would be a great idea for a birthday present. Or she could do chores to earn the bag

But, if your budget doesn't stretch to that, then your DD will have to understand that, and it's important to live within our means

BugsAndBeesAndBirdsAndButterfl · 14/03/2021 08:47

pokes head out What do you mean about judging future attainment. Are you equating ability to afford a good bag with academic success? Scruffy bags meaning difficulties? Or more style?