To think the porn culture has a lot to do with societal misogyny?

[Imsosorryalan75]

And due to the millions of pounds made from this industry, it won't be curbed or restricted by the powers that be? It seems blatantly obvious to me that young teenage boys/men/deviants viewing readily available and mostly violent porn promotes objectifying and disrespect for women.

Plus many of these platforms are designed and run by men, for men. There's little proper safeguarding going on, even on sites like tiktok.

TRIGGER WARNING VAWG for this, but tell me this young woman's sex life HASN'T been influenced by violent and exploitative porn

twitter.com/plstachios/status/1288162779900317699?s=21

One one of the worst things that's happened, that we've allowed to happen, is the repackaging of women's exploitation as empowerment.

This is absolutely at the heart of the matter. Well said.

I’d say porn is a product of misogyny...and perpetuates it.

The impact of porn is my biggest fear for my kids as they grow up. I am so worried that they and/or their future partners will have such an utterly warped view of what healthy sexual experiences are.

Another thing to consider is that there is a segment of the population that is very, very interested in destabilising society. The widespread availability of porn is doing just this. From this perspective, it can be seen to be less about money and far more about creating chaos.

Porn is a symptom of how men view women, not a cause.
They see women as the gatekeeper's of sex because they sort of are by most metrics.
The upshot is that most men will not have the variety of sexual partners they desire and enter porn.
It's sort of sad to think of, but from an economic perspective I think porn plays a significant role in removing incentives for men to treat women well.
The technology is not going backwards. VR is tantalisingly immersive and I imagine that does for the porn too.

I agree re the huge shift on anal sex, something that I didn’t even know existed until my late teens, when it was only ever mentioned in relation to gay men.
I truly believe that men enjoy watching this solely because it is seen as degrading to women, and I find this very upsetting and disturbing.
I was reading some of Adrian Gill’s articles recently, and there is one about the making of a porn film. It is actually quite bizarre- he presents a woman acting in the film having bowel incontinence due to anal sex, and then cleaning herself up, as her being completely relaxed and admirably free in her body. It was a revelation, how much a man could twist this in his head.
My eldest daughter is 16 and so far she has boys as friends but hasn’t had a boyfriend or been asked out. I am dreading what the boys she will meet might have watched. Mothers of boys, can I ask if you talk to your sons about this ? I know I need to talk to dd about it, but it is all so horrible that I haven’t so far.

Hate feeling so impotent

Mainstream porn is now choking, gagging, deep throat gagging, women in extremely uncomfortable prone positions, buttock and breast hard slapping, face slapping, hair pulling, and endless anal.

And that is influencing men's behaviour towards women they meet via dating apps etc

"A man asked if he could ‘slap’ and ‘spit on me’ – we need to stop normalising sexual violence against women...There’s no doubt that porn should be part of the conversation – only recently, Pornhub removed millions of videos in an attempt to fight sexual abuse imagery. The site was accused of hosting non-consensual content connected to child pornography, trafficking and rape."

www.independent.co.uk/voices/sexual-violence-choking-dating-apps-consent-b1790669.html

@TheVanguardSix

One one of the worst things that's happened, that we've allowed to happen, is the repackaging of women's exploitation as empowerment.

This is absolutely at the heart of the matter. Well said.

Yeah this sums up what I was probably trying to say. But then I feel that people who think it's not empowerment are seen as prudes.

Completely agree OP and it isn't helped by women - including many on this site - playing the 'cool girl' role and pretending they love porn and can't get enough of it. So degrading.

@TheVanguardSix

One one of the worst things that's happened, that we've allowed to happen, is the repackaging of women's exploitation as empowerment.

This is absolutely at the heart of the matter. Well said.

Yes, well said.

Completely agree OP and it isn't helped by women - including many on this site - playing the 'cool girl' role and pretending they love porn and can't get enough of it. So degrading.

And it's the overwhelming flavour on MN. I can't help but think half of them are male trolls. You post a 'Caught DH watching porn' thread at your peril on this site. And if you go and fight your corner and come to the defense of the OP, who is feeling debased, degraded, confused, and basically, pretty shit about it all, you get bullied off the thread by the 'cool' brigade. They are utter turds.

Mainstream porn is now choking, gagging, deep throat gagging, women in extremely uncomfortable prone positions, buttock and breast hard slapping, face slapping, hair pulling, and endless anal.

You've just described my sex life with ex. Apart from he liked to bite me really hard too. And he made me feel like I was the weird one for not enjoying it, as apparently all women love rough sex 🙄

YANBU x 100.

I'm not naive enough to think my 16 yr old DS hasn't seen any of it, but he knows what I think. We've had a few conversations where the fundamentals are, you know this is not how real sex happens don't you? That sex happens between people that are attracted to, love and ideally respect each other and want to show their love.

I basically explain porn as the pantomime of sex. Not reality. Like a big farce.

But it's still a big worry for me, wondering what he's seen and it possibly has affected him.

If it's

KarensChoppyBob

It's uncharted territory, this world of all-access 24/7 'anything goes' porn. I have a 19-year-old DS.
Are our words powerful enough to overcome this tsunami of male-driven hatred and exploitation of women? I sure hope so.

Well said @TheVanguardSix, I much preferred the natural beauty we all aspired to in the 90s, although that came with its own issues but nothing like we are lumbered with now. I've just cycled into my nearest town, all the girls are wrapped in gym kit, cropped sweatshirts, every butt contour on show, thick false lashes, thick foundation and contouring so that any of their natural skin and features are gone. There's no self respect at all, and some men are capitalising on this sadly. Good point @Okbussitout about capitalism and exploitation of labour, except I think people are doing Only Fans not because they are broke but because they are not prepared to live on a low wage as consumer culture is so prevalent. They need to the money to maintain the image that their life is amazing on Instagram.

I hope so too Vanguard, all I know is he's very close to me, his sister and his GM. Understands what women have had to deal with, I love history and bombard him with it sometimes :) I live in hope.

@tormentil Which part of the population is interested in destabilising society and why? I'm probably being naive in not fully understanding this.

YANBU.

I remember the time of top shelf magazines in brown paper, VHS porn and schoolboys passing around porn mags found in the woods. I'm now witness to the proliferation of porn in society and haven't really noticed an increase in misogyny because of it.

I have noticed that when you make sex work legal and regulated it begets more sex trafficking, as happened in Germany. I have noticed that making porn freely available has created more of it and it's made hardcore porn normalised.

I think it's more complex than saying porn is the root of all evil and if we get rid off porn, then we get rid off misogyny. One in four women will be involved in a DV relationship, nearly 100% of UK women are sexually harassed, many on a regular basis. Two women a week on average are murdered by someone meant to love them. Rape stats are unknown as it's rarely reported. Those stats haven't increased since porn have been widely available. Those stats were around when I was a child and porn spoken of in hushed tones and associated with men in macs.

Many men hate women and you can see how much when you watch porn. It's not about sex any more but assault.

@Bigtruth

Definitely. Before the proliferation of Pornography there was hardly any misogyny in society.

I'm sure porn isn't helpful but blaming it for misogyny is very wide of the mark imo.

I agree. Societal misogyny came before porn (violent or not) by a long chalk. Violent porn is a symptom; not the disease.

Misogyny existed before porn, degrading porn is borne of misogyny, but it also feeds it. It pushes boundaries further and further (see normalisation of violence during sex article above) and that feeds back into society. It's a cycle.

@TeaAndStrumpets so do I! When a pp wrote about watching porn (involving oral and anal sex) on sky "while growing up" I was a bit . Neighbours and home and away were the norm for teenager tv in our house. I have yet to meet a man with a porn habit who is also a good husband/partner/friend to "real life" women.

Do please fill out the Government consultation on violence against women and girls. It asks about the effects of porn, which of course we all know is now the "go to" resource for boys information about sex.

www.gov.uk/government/consultations/violence-against-women-and-girls-vawg-call-for-evidence

It's really important that we get involved and tell them like it is... that there seems to be no appetite within successive Governments to address misogyny and VAWG because the men in charge refuse to face up to the reality of MALE PERPETRATED VIOLENCE.

To face up to male violence against women and girls would mean having a hand in smashing the patriarchy. And the patriarchy is hell bent on keeping male power exactly where it is.