Women are groomed from birth to comply with and support male dominance. Part of this includes pitting us against each other and encouraging us to compete with each other to win the game of patriarchy rather than dismantling it.
Women with internalised misogyny are simply a product of this environment, so I can't feel more upset and angry with them than I do with men. That attitude is part of the same problem, same as when women blame the OW more than the adulterous man.
If women naturally had, or were at least raised to have, a sense of "sisterhood" then we'd be much further forwards. Is it any wonder then that we're discouraged from this and taught instead that other women are bitchy, mean, manipulative, and two faced? We're taught that "you're not like other girls" is a compliment and that "I just prefer being friends with boys" is a virtue. We're taught that heterosexual romantic love is more important than our female friendships and our family, whilst female homosexual romantic love is erased and forbidden by both traditionalists ("its against my religious beliefs, its just a phase") and progressives ("it's against my gender identity beliefs, its just a preference"). It's the reason that young women are taught to dispise old women; that abusers focus first on alienating their victims from their female friends and mothers; and that women meeting or speaking in large groups has always been treated as dangerous. It's the reason why men are desperate to change and remove the language we need to empathise and identify with each other - whether that's TRAs seperating us into groups based on our body parts (cervix havers, menstruators, pregnant bodies) as if these groups have nothing in common with each other; anti choice activists referring to pregnant women as "hosts" or simply erasing the existence of a pregnant women from their rhetoric entirely (the often used image of a fetus in a disconnected floating womb); or surrogacy campaigners using language like "surrogate" and "carrier" to erase the women involved, and the media reporting celebrity children born to through surrogacy as if the woman in question had never existed.
We are taught to erase each other in our view of the world and to frame every narrative a the way which centers men and their feelings and agency whilst dismissing our own and other women's needs as selfish, hysterical, and manipulative.
Women who harm other women through internalised misogyny are also victims of misogyny. When she gave evidence to the Woman's Equality Party recently, Jane Claire Jones said that women have the lowest level of class consciousness of any group and I think she's right, but I don't think it's an accident. Women hating women isn't just a by product of patriarchy, is an essential part of its foundations. It's also the one we might have the best chance of destabilising, but not if we become part of the problem by focusing our anger and disappointment on each other.