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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel anxious when walking past groups of teens.

98 replies

Astressedmumoftwo · 12/03/2021 16:34

Earlier I went to pick my kid up from school, narrow alleyway, group of 6 teen girls coming down in school uniform. I immediately feel anxious and try to avoid eye contact. The one at the back sort of squared up to me as I walked past! I'm 27 but only look about 18 so that doesn't help but I get so anxious walking past groups of teenagers. I was a "nice" teen and I know most teens aren't the sort to start things but I'm always paranoid. I know it's sort of pathetic but I'm hoping I'm not alone.

OP posts:
LApprentiSorcier · 12/03/2021 18:23

Yes, I do and even groups of pre-teens.

I often had strangers shouting that I was 'ugly' when I was younger, usually groups of teens, and it's a legacy of that although now I am middle aged I am 'invisible' so I don't get that any more. But I do worry about any groups who are hanging about aimlessly in case they try to mug me. If I spot loiterers in time I usually cross the road or change my route.

OverTheRainbow88 · 12/03/2021 18:26

No but I’m A Secondary school teacher.

I would suggest smiling, saying hi and just walking by.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 12/03/2021 18:28

They are like animals. They can smell fear and take a piss. I refuse to be afraid of teens here. I am an adult.
The only ones I properly keep away from are the scramble biker morons because I just don't trust them to be smart enough to be able to handle that bike properly.

Oblomov21 · 12/03/2021 18:29

Nope. I never feel this way.

Finfintytint · 12/03/2021 18:31

No. Don’t feel like that. I always smile and say hello and I usually get a mumbled “ Hiya”.

Sciurus83 · 12/03/2021 18:32

Yes, I had some nasty experiences with teens when I was that age and there is always a fear they could turn. It's not nice to feel like that, and it's totally unfounded as an sdult I've never had bad experiences. But it's hard to break a learned habit based on experiences from the past.

Hillwalker1 · 12/03/2021 18:32

I completely get this feeling and I am mid 40s and a secondary school teacher. Just try to remember that inside they are scared of pretty much everyone and everything

Givemeabreak88 · 12/03/2021 18:33

Yes I feel this way but I live near a secondary school and their behaviour is vile block the streets refuse to move even when they see you coming etc

RozHuntleysStump · 12/03/2021 18:41

Yanbu. They can be bloody vile.

Chimoia · 12/03/2021 18:44

Circle of life innit, youth need to test out their power (because its new to them to be seen as a threat). Its all in the lion King.

FAQs · 12/03/2021 18:49

What do you mean by squared up to you?

Most teens wouldn’t notice anyone walking past them, they are in their own worlds, on their phones, twatting about with each other.

FAQs · 12/03/2021 18:50

@Chimoia

Circle of life innit, youth need to test out their power (because its new to them to be seen as a threat). Its all in the lion King.
Grin
Serin · 12/03/2021 21:45

No, I really don't ever get this feeling. The ones where I live seem to be quite tame really, certainly more polite than I was in the 80's.
The only time I've felt "threatened" by a group was when I ended up in a train carriage with about 100 loud, drunken and obnoxious male football fans. Mainly aged 30's to 50's.
Teenagers are just big toddlers. Wink

speakout · 12/03/2021 21:47

No,
But I have been the parent of teenagers.
99% of them are good people.
I smile and say hi if they catch my eye.

MoiraNotRuby · 12/03/2021 21:47

I have teenagers of my own who are lovely and have lovely friends. Toddler instincts in adult sized bodies coupled with teenage angst. What's not to like?!

M4J4 · 12/03/2021 21:49

No, never had an issue with teens. 80% of abuse I’ve had has been from men and 20% from women.

Springersrock · 12/03/2021 21:55

Most teens wouldn’t notice anyone walking past them, they are in their own worlds, on their phones, twatting about with each other

This ^^

No, I’ve never felt worried

I have 2 teens and also used to be a foster carer of teens and have never felt concerned - to be fair, I live in a pretty small place and know most of them so they usually say hi

ClearMountain · 12/03/2021 21:57

I was bullied as a teenager and I’m still terrified of groups of teens. They’re unpredictable and they know there will be no consequences, so you never know if they’ll attack you.

Grace58 · 12/03/2021 22:01

No, but I'm a secondary school teacher! Vast majority of teens are awesome.

I remember once when I was walking with my baby in his pram behind a group of three lads, they hadn't noticed me and one was taking up most of the path and I could hear him speaking to his friends like he was really rough, lots of 'blud' 'innit' and various swear words. I politely said "excuse me, could I get past please" and I remember he just jumped out of the way apologising! Most of the 'scary' teens are actually perfectly nice and acting up to friends half the time.

Givemeabreak88 · 12/03/2021 22:02

Well must be different where you live, round here the teens have been known to carry knives and fight outside the school, even the bus drivers have been too scared to challenge them when they’ve been causing issues on the buses as there’s so many of them and always in big groups.

radioband · 12/03/2021 22:07

No but I work with ‘troubled’ teens

user127819 · 12/03/2021 22:38

Yes. Like a previous poster said, they're unpredictable. I have insecurities about my appearance (in large part because of bullying during teenage years) and while adults of course don't comment, teenagers don't necessarily operate along the same social norms and expectations. I have received extremely rude comments from teenagers (girls and boys) out in public.

CthulhuChristmas · 12/03/2021 22:47

I used to, because of very bad experiences when I was a teenager myself. What changed was getting old enough that I don't care what they think of me. Call me fat? Yeah, I am a bit. Don't like my clothes? I don't like theirs either. I can just ignore them.

It also helps that I used to work at a primary school near where I now live, and so I far more often get a cheery 'Hi, Miss!' from a teenager who recognizes me than negative comments.

Struggleisreel · 12/03/2021 22:50

A rowdy bunch... Yes. But quietly chatting and showing awareness of their surroundings, I'm ok with that

MorePotatoSalad · 12/03/2021 22:51

There will always be one idiot who goes 'wuuuuhhh' in your face as you walk past but most teens are quite nice and polite including in 'rough' areas. I just do eye contact and a nod.