To think this is too much?

[Geeitsfriday]

Do you think an alternate of calpol and nurofen every day every 4 hours for months is too much? I'm starting to worry about a friends baby. I wouldn't dare say anything as she is a great mother and loves her DD very much. But knowing she uses it when they get whiney 'in case they're in pain' is troubling to me as it could be a number of things, tiredness included. I know she thinks she's doing the right thing but I'm not so sure. What's everyone else's opinion on this much pain relief every day? Surely the liver is going to be impacted long term?

Definitely speak to her about getting baby to a GP, if the baby "needs" that much pain relief it's not well.

Behind the scenes, police or NSPCC to report your concerns. This isn't safe for the baby and sounds like the mother may be unwell.

Shes drugging her kids

Both of my children cried a lot as babies. I think probably due to reflux by a process of elimination. It was really tough for us as parents as we tried everything we could to settle them.

But if we'd resorted to calpol or whatever as the fix, they'd have had it every day for 18 months. Due to the colour and taste, I think it's easy to forget it's still a painkiller. If you cut up the corresponding section of an adult tablet, I doubt very much you'd feel comfortable giving that to a baby every four hours even if it's only a tiny piece.

Very difficult to bring up but, even if it's awkward in the short term, I think your friend will reflect on your comments and be grateful to you.

I think she's, for want of a better word, drugging, the baby to keep it quiet.
Seriously not good, can you speak to her, do a bit of googling about the long term effects.
Or report it to someone and that's not something I would do lightly, the baby could be in serious trouble

It’s really, really not ok to give these for such an extended period of time.

Please report your concerns.

Would she take ibuprofen and paracetamol every four hours herself? Would she think that is normal or okay?

If it's been going on for some time, it's perfectly possible that when she stops medicating, the baby becomes distressed

Yes. Like it's become dependent on the medicines OR the real reason it's been crying all along- wanting comfort, a feed, or whatever else it needs once it's conscious again.

I've just emerged from the horrible cloud that is PND @OP. My baby crying has been such a trigger so I know how desperate things become to make the screaming stop but still never hurt my baby physically or through drugging them. Seems your friend (and definitely that baby) need immediate help. It seems she's putting on a facade of perfect mum who's got things under control but crumbling underneath it all. Save that baby.

This is really concerning behaviour. I would try speaking to a health visitor.

She sounds desperate to control her situation.

It be really worried about her mental health- not that she doesn't know what's she doing but she clearly struggling with her baby if she can't do tolerate her baby crying etc to this extent.

I totally get this kind of reliance on something that appears to 'work' when deeply unwell with PND or similar.

Yes she needs to understand but no idea how id address this in your shoes op

If this is correct, it's classified as Physical Abuse and would be taken very very seriously. Poor baby.

Please contact the children's social care team at your local council and report it.

This is abuse.

Abuse isnt just something which parents so because they want to cause harm. Abuse can also be something parents do because they think it's good and they dont understand the harm. Like over feeding or under feeding or pushing too much into exercise or too little or whatever.

This is abuse.

Have you reported it yet? You need to report this. That child is in danger.

I'd phone Children's Services and discuss with them, you can get advice without naming names. I've found them very helpful in the past when I worked as a childminder. They are really good and sign posting you to the best person, possibly health visitor/gp.

Your friend is potentially making her baby very unwell. Whether this is intentional or not, it needs addressing urgently for the safety and well-being of the child.

You should talk to her about this, and failing that, contact her health visitor urgently.

I bet the child whinges - probably now from the effects of permanently being on paracetamol and ibuprofen! I find this quite distressing actually. That baby may already have suffered irreversible harm.

I would also think that this baby is now addicted to the pain medication so is whinging when she is due another 'hit' of it. She could also be whinging because her stomach is hurting from the ibuprofen. My daughter was about 11 when she had an injury that meant she was on ibuprofen every 4 hours for a week. It damaged her stomach and gave her gastritis and after going to a constultant she was told she should avoid it permanently. If she has every had a small dose since she has to have omeprazole or the pain is intense

My child is cutting a molar he is waking up screaming in pain clingy and not himself at all. He is currently getting nurofen and calpol every 4 hours (when he will let me give it to him). I’ve actually only managed to get him to take one dose of nurofen so far today, he was not interested in opening his mouth for the calpol. This is the first time I have religiously tried to medicate him every 4 hours as he is quite clearly in agony. I haven’t done this with any of his other 9 teeth.

I guess you don't need another person telling you this but yes, report to social services or someone.

I remember DD having this combination on a doctor's orders when she had croup but not sure whether I ever even gave her painkillers otherwise!

Did I just read that this woman has been giving her baby alternate calpol and ibuprofen every 4 hours for MONTHS?

I find that disturbing and, in all seriousness, she could be doing serious long term harm. If you are certain this is the case, you must do something. I would talk to her about it, and I would make it clear that it’s very dangerous and she must stop. I don’t think I’d be too bothered about sugar coating it tbh, I’d be entirely blunt and suggest she must tell her GP or HV what has been going on.

God this is horrifying. The effects of paracetamol are cumulative, this will be building up in that childs liver. Its really quite easy to cause overdose of paracetamol in children if you go over recommended dosages and lets face it your friend sounds reckless. For gods sake don't be worried about hurting this womans feelings. She is probably causing irreversible damage. My Aunt lost a kidney due to taking paracetamol for months after an injury and she was a fully grown adult.

Do you think an alternate of calpol and nurofen every day every 4 hours for months is too much?

If this is not an exaggeration I hope you ensure the baby gets urgent medical attention, OP. Not enough to just get the mother to stop giving medicine, that baby needs to be checked over by a paediatrician. And the mother needs urgent help if she's not able to understand how seriously harmful paracetamol can be.

This is chilling if true. My baby is teething and I only ever give calpol when it’s obvious distraction etc isn’t working anymore and they are really worked up. Even then I am sparing with it. No one likes an unhappy baby but drugging them is not the answer! Don’t think of your friend/her feelings/her reputation, think of the innocent child.

The fantastic Dr Chris van Tulleken addressed this in a documentary a few years ago, medics are worried about it, they think lots of parents give too much and raise valid questions about the marketing of these products. Agree maybe seek advice from NSPCC initially. Perhaps you could 'inform' your local health visitors team, and then her HV could be instructed to raise it with her? She needs to hear it from a health professional.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/health-44140151

I had a friend who used to do this to her toddler and baby as she just wasn’t coping at all. I reported to Health Visitor and she then got weekly support and I also helped her out still by taking her toddler off to play with mine most days for a bit. She was diagnosed with severe depression.

Wait, I know it's a concern, but isn't first step speak to her about damage of long term use of meds if she isn't aware?
If I was really concerned about my friend, that's what I would do, before even thinking about reporting to someone. Even though it hurt her feeling and damaged the friendship with her, that's for the greater good of saving a child from potential harm?

Honestly i think it will fall on deaf ears, i'd bypass and go straight to SS.